Afraid and Lost.

[LostChildinTheMidst]

someone very dear to me in my family has made mistakes, I used to come into his room with him praying every night. I could feel his fear. He then began reading the Bible and he finished it, I beleive he did this so it could lead to his salvation, I don't know he never told me why. But after that he became angry and just more sinful. Another dear family member has recently became a pastor, but she doesn't bear fruit, and me I began my journey with Christ last year JUST beginning highschool. I was doing good but I had sort of a religious OCD (what to do what not to do) I've been suffering from blasphemous thoughts, as I started my first year of highschool ofcourse I fell into sin, but sometimes I'd get back up, if I lacked to ask for forgiveness I would be so afraid, I came across Hebrews 6:4-6 and then I was tormented for 4 days. I had someone pray for me. I started listening to gospel music. But after a while I stopped I didn't exactly give up but I didn't care anymore, I was tired of the fear of everything. I had no comfort. I fell into sin and now I'm in that position. I feel so bad for disrespecting Jesus, like I feel like he's going to kill me, he's gonna take my life and I read Romans 2:4-6 and I'm like wow, god is so nice and I still haven't repented which made me feel even worse and now I'm wallowing in self pity I'm so stubborn and I try to blame it on God when it's my fault. When I think about it I feel like my family is going through the same thing, we don't communicate with eachother about that stuff, at least I don't because I don't want my parents to worry. I said some mean things I thought some mean things and did some mean things to God, and lord knows I deserve hell. I don't want to go but it's just like that's my fate. I really want to be in heaven. I wish I could walk with my creator, I'm so sick and depressed and nervous, I'm afraid to die cause I don't know where I might go. I'm stirring up wrath for myself. God scares me so much hell scares me so much death scares me so much. There is no alternative route. I deserve judgment God gives me chances I pass them. I wish he would pursue me until I changed but I don't know I'm wasting his time, I don't even know why I write on here as if it's going to change anything. I guess I just typed this to see if others were/are going through the same thing. I don't deserve Gods compassion I'm just downright afraid like I messed up Jesus did all this for me and I still don't change? Excuse me for my language but I'm F**ked up.

 

[God is good]

someone very dear to me in my family has made mistakes, I used to come into his room with him praying every night. I could feel his fear. He then began reading the Bible and he finished it, I beleive he did this so it could lead to his salvation, I don't know he never told me why. But after that he became angry and just more sinful. Another dear family member has recently became a pastor, but she doesn't bear fruit, and me I began my journey with Christ last year JUST beginning highschool. I was doing good but I had sort of a religious OCD (what to do what not to do) I've been suffering from blasphemous thoughts, as I started my first year of highschool ofcourse I fell into sin, but sometimes I'd get back up, if I lacked to ask for forgiveness I would be so afraid, I came across Hebrews 6:4-6 and then I was tormented for 4 days. I had someone pray for me. I started listening to gospel music. But after a while I stopped I didn't exactly give up but I didn't care anymore, I was tired of the fear of everything. I had no comfort. I fell into sin and now I'm in that position. I feel so bad for disrespecting Jesus, like I feel like he's going to kill me, he's gonna take my life and I read Romans 2:4-6 and I'm like wow, god is so nice and I still haven't repented which made me feel even worse and now I'm wallowing in self pity I'm so stubborn and I try to blame it on God when it's my fault. When I think about it I feel like my family is going through the same thing, we don't communicate with eachother about that stuff, at least I don't because I don't want my parents to worry. I said some mean things I thought some mean things and did some mean things to God, and lord knows I deserve hell. I don't want to go but it's just like that's my fate. I really want to be in heaven. I wish I could walk with my creator, I'm so sick and depressed and nervous, I'm afraid to die cause I don't know where I might go. I'm stirring up wrath for myself. God scares me so much hell scares me so much death scares me so much. There is no alternative route. I deserve judgment God gives me chances I pass them. I wish he would pursue me until I changed but I don't know I'm wasting his time, I don't even know why I write on here as if it's going to change anything. I guess I just typed this to see if others were/are going through the same thing. I don't deserve Gods compassion I'm just downright afraid like I messed up Jesus did all this for me and I still don't change? Excuse me for my language but I'm F**ked up.

I am really sorry for what you're going through, I have been struggling for a while now with terrible thoughts and I'm struggling today too. God loves us and remember it's all about Jesus Christ and I am scared of not being saved. Please pray for me and I'll pray for you. God bless, Jesus is our Lord and he loves us.

 

[Dave G.]

someone very dear to me in my family has made mistakes, I used to come into his room with him praying every night. I could feel his fear. He then began reading the Bible and he finished it, I beleive he did this so it could lead to his salvation, I don't know he never told me why. But after that he became angry and just more sinful. Another dear family member has recently became a pastor, but she doesn't bear fruit, and me I began my journey with Christ last year JUST beginning highschool. I was doing good but I had sort of a religious OCD (what to do what not to do) I've been suffering from blasphemous thoughts, as I started my first year of highschool ofcourse I fell into sin, but sometimes I'd get back up, if I lacked to ask for forgiveness I would be so afraid, I came across Hebrews 6:4-6 and then I was tormented for 4 days. I had someone pray for me. I started listening to gospel music. But after a while I stopped I didn't exactly give up but I didn't care anymore, I was tired of the fear of everything. I had no comfort. I fell into sin and now I'm in that position. I feel so bad for disrespecting Jesus, like I feel like he's going to kill me, he's gonna take my life and I read Romans 2:4-6 and I'm like wow, god is so nice and I still haven't repented which made me feel even worse and now I'm wallowing in self pity I'm so stubborn and I try to blame it on God when it's my fault. When I think about it I feel like my family is going through the same thing, we don't communicate with eachother about that stuff, at least I don't because I don't want my parents to worry. I said some mean things I thought some mean things and did some mean things to God, and lord knows I deserve hell. I don't want to go but it's just like that's my fate. I really want to be in heaven. I wish I could walk with my creator, I'm so sick and depressed and nervous, I'm afraid to die cause I don't know where I might go. I'm stirring up wrath for myself. God scares me so much hell scares me so much death scares me so much. There is no alternative route. I deserve judgment God gives me chances I pass them. I wish he would pursue me until I changed but I don't know I'm wasting his time, I don't even know why I write on here as if it's going to change anything. I guess I just typed this to see if others were/are going through the same thing. I don't deserve Gods compassion I'm just downright afraid like I messed up Jesus did all this for me and I still don't change? Excuse me for my language but I'm F**ked up.

Ya know what sweet heart ? Non of us deserves heaven or to be with Jesus Christ for eternity. That's exactly what His grace is all about. We have "all" fallen short of eternal life, of forgiveness, so the Father sent in the Son to hang on that cross for us . We can not make ourselves good enough to be faced with the Glory of God but in Jesus Christ we are saved anyway. Accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior and relax a little bit is my suggestion. Ya, it sounds like you are shooting yourself in the foot, confess it to Jesus and move on.

 

[Dave G.]

And to both you members, God is Good and to Lost Child, I pray for you that God gives you eyes to see and ears to hear, the power of discernment as well, so you can see that your paths can be clearer than what you are seeing now. I pray that you both accept Jesus as your own personal Lord and Savior and that you walk in His Light. I say that because it is Jesus who is the light that illuminates our life pathway. I pray that you don't just Willy Nilly read scripture but read it with purpose and in prayer and in thought with some direction and help from people who know it much better than you do. I pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ, may He change your lives. Amen

 

[God is good]

And to both you members, God is Good and to Lost Child, I pray for you that God gives you eyes to see and ears to hear, the power of discernment as well, so you can see that your paths can be clearer than what you are seeing now. I pray that you both accept Jesus as your own personal Lord and Savior and that you walk in His Light. I say that because it is Jesus who is the light that illuminates our life pathway. I pray that you don't just Willy Nilly read scripture but read it with purpose and in prayer and in thought with some direction and help from people who know it much better than you do. I pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ, may He change your lives. Amen

Thank you for praying for us, I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour and I believe that Jesus is Lord. God bless Thank you for your post.

 

[LostChildinTheMidst]

I am really sorry for what you're going through, I have been struggling for a while now with terrible thoughts and I'm struggling today too. God loves us and remember it's all about Jesus Christ and I am scared of not being saved. Please pray for me and I'll pray for you. God bless, Jesus is our Lord and he loves us.

I promise I will pray for you, would you like to message me your name so when I pray I can be more specific? It's ok if you don't want to

 

[Dave G.]

Part of the challenge in situations like what I'm hearing in this thread is people still want to try and do things their own way, when Jesus is waiting for them to turn to Him and do things His way. And this problem is so much like the world vs spirit, especially for the young who are stuck deeply entrenched in a world system who is teaching anything but the ways of Jesus Christ. Even saved people have issues with this today because the world system is all about self and success in this world, education is the same. Jesus is about shedding that kind of baggage .

 

[Bluerose31]

someone very dear to me in my family has made mistakes, I used to come into his room with him praying every night. I could feel his fear. He then began reading the Bible and he finished it, I beleive he did this so it could lead to his salvation, I don't know he never told me why. But after that he became angry and just more sinful. Another dear family member has recently became a pastor, but she doesn't bear fruit, and me I began my journey with Christ last year JUST beginning highschool. I was doing good but I had sort of a religious OCD (what to do what not to do) I've been suffering from blasphemous thoughts, as I started my first year of highschool ofcourse I fell into sin, but sometimes I'd get back up, if I lacked to ask for forgiveness I would be so afraid, I came across Hebrews 6:4-6 and then I was tormented for 4 days. I had someone pray for me. I started listening to gospel music. But after a while I stopped I didn't exactly give up but I didn't care anymore, I was tired of the fear of everything. I had no comfort. I fell into sin and now I'm in that position. I feel so bad for disrespecting Jesus, like I feel like he's going to kill me, he's gonna take my life and I read Romans 2:4-6 and I'm like wow, god is so nice and I still haven't repented which made me feel even worse and now I'm wallowing in self pity I'm so stubborn and I try to blame it on God when it's my fault. When I think about it I feel like my family is going through the same thing, we don't communicate with eachother about that stuff, at least I don't because I don't want my parents to worry. I said some mean things I thought some mean things and did some mean things to God, and lord knows I deserve hell. I don't want to go but it's just like that's my fate. I really want to be in heaven. I wish I could walk with my creator, I'm so sick and depressed and nervous, I'm afraid to die cause I don't know where I might go. I'm stirring up wrath for myself. God scares me so much hell scares me so much death scares me so much. There is no alternative route. I deserve judgment God gives me chances I pass them. I wish he would pursue me until I changed but I don't know I'm wasting his time, I don't even know why I write on here as if it's going to change anything. I guess I just typed this to see if others were/are going through the same thing. I don't deserve Gods compassion I'm just downright afraid like I messed up Jesus did all this for me and I still don't change? Excuse me for my language but I'm F**ked up.

I am sorry you have been struggling in these ways. I am so glad you are here at Christian forums. I wanted to share with you that I don't believe in hell. Hell used to scare me alot and then I read some books where Christians did not believe in Hell. That comforted me alot and I realized that I did not believe a loving God would send people to Hell for eternal torment. Draw close to God, he loves you and nothing can separate you from Him.

 

[Dave G.]

I am sorry you have been struggling in these ways. I am so glad you are here at Christian forums. I wanted to share with you that I don't believe in hell. Hell used to scare me alot and then I read some books where Christians did not believe in Hell. That comforted me alot and I realized that I did not believe a loving God would send people to Hell for eternal torment. Draw close to God, he loves you and nothing can separate you from Him.

I believe you are putting forth a false security, though it is true that we have security in Christ Jesus, He Himself spoke more on eternal destruction than anyone else in the bible.
The bible does not say the word hell is all. But it gives plenty of description, many from the Lord Himself. How do you rectify all of these verses on this page : 20 Top Bible Verses About Hell - Scripture Quotes

 

[God is good]

I promise I will pray for you, would you like to message me your name so when I pray I can be more specific? It's ok if you don't want to

I thank you for praying for me. Could you please pray that I will trust Jesus more and that my love for God will grow and that I will give God complete control. Thank you, what do you want me to pray for you.

 

[paul1149]

I wish I could walk with my creator, I'm so sick and depressed and nervous, I'm afraid to die cause I don't know where I might go. I'm stirring up wrath for myself. God scares me so much hell scares me so much death scares me so much.

We're all in the same boat. We were born broken. The Father saw that and sent Jesus to pay the price of getting out of the spiritual hock shop.

What's more, God knew what would happen if He created man, and the terrible price that would be required to restore all things. He knew beforehand, and He went ahead with it anyway. You haven't done anything that surprises God, and He still went to the cross for you.

Hebrews 6 is not meant to be taken as condemnation, but as a warning. He says so. He even says he is writing "in this manner". If you take it strictly as written you end up in works salvation, which is illegal.

Later on, the same writer tells that to please God we must believe that He is God, and that He rewards them who seek Him. IOW, He's able to save and keep, and He's good enough to do so. -Heb 11.6 And he says the heart must be established by grace (13:9)

Jesus tells us we must come to Him as children. Children trust and believe their parents.

Keep it simple. You achieve nothing by continually beating your head against this wall. It all presupposes you have to perform at a certain level to merit salvation. No, you have to believe the Gospel and love God. There is an obedience of faith, but when you get into chronic condemnation you've gone beyond it. Return to the stronghold of grace, of Christ's completed works.

A note to others: this is not the place for doctrinal arguments. Some people here have been deeply wounded, and should not be subjected to bickering. God will sort out their beliefs at the proper time, in the proper setting.