Advice to help my Guilt and Anxiety

[Bkimble001]

I have been all over the Internet looking for answers to my question or a place I could feel safe asking it. I hope to receive some Biblical, kind advice from fellow Christians here.

I am a 26-year-old Christian woman who has grown up in the Baptist church, although I identify more as nondenominational now. I attended an all-women's, liberal studies University, and that was where I most struggled with my faith, but I made it through. I now work mostly as a teacher and a writer. I used to feel I was very strong in my faith, and that I was generally a good person, but lately, I have developed a deep anxiety/depression that I am not.

I feel guilty for almost everything I do/love. I am a big fan of anime and manga and movies. I cosplay and attend anime conventions, I write stories and I discuss anime with lots of different people. I spend hours sometimes looking up articles and discussions about how Christians can approach anime in a positive, Godly way, and how it is only sinful if it somehow weakens us or leads us to sin, just like any other entertainment medium. I don't feel anime weakens me in my faith at all. I feel like I spend more time worrying about how to please God and emulate Jesus now than I ever have before. Even after I read these articles and agree with them, I go back to feeling anxious and guilty. I was recently hired to write anime and manga related articles and I feel anxious about even accepting the job. I feel that God wouldn't have allowed me to be chosen for the job if it were wrong, but then I feel awful for taking it because I'm afraid it may be wrong.

I guess what I'm saying is I don't know if it is my actual anxiety that is making me feel constantly guilty for my passions in life and my every move, or if it is God telling me to give all of it up. I go in circles all day long and can't think about anything else. I would appreciate any advice anyone could give about overcoming anxiety or what you think of my situation. Thanks so much.

 

[chapmic]

I believe God gives us talents for a reason, we can definitely use our talents to display God's love for us and for others. It sounds like you are putting God first in your life, so I don't think you should feel guilty. Maybe you can create your own unique anime that is Christian themed and explains the good news. After you have the job, you might have great discussions about tying in anime and the gospel. These discussions with people who are unfamiliar with Christianity may lead people to think different about Christian. Your faith in God can serve as a catalyst in the workplace, because they may not be around Christians a lot and may never have a chance to have a discussion with someone who believes so strongly. I know sometimes for myself I have discussions about movies and basketball which relate to my Christian faith. I hope this helps, I will be praying for you and I know Jesus will put you where you need to be. May you be a light to others! God bless!

 

[Greg J.]

I am not able to perceive what your relationship with Jesus is like now from your post, which limits what I can say.

There can be subtleties like, is the anime worsening how you think about things, or is it sustaining a harmful level of fantasy in your life (unlikely). But only you can evaluate those things.

There is nothing categorically wrong with manga, anime, or cosplay. However, they are not categorically OK, either (which I'm sure you knew if you are familiar with the range of manga and anime that are made). Manga are stories with pictures, anime are cartoons, and cosplay is "playing dress up," socializing (a good thing), and sometimes includes a creative process which basically amounts to artistic and personal expression (good things).

What matters is what the content is and how it affects you. Keep in mind that sin comes from the heart, not from what you do. What you do comes from the heart, though, and can be a window to your heart. Sometimes a person can discern the difference between (1) feeling guilty about things they like (or are doing) and (2) being convicted in their soul that it is wrong. If it is the former without any of the latter, it may be a deception and something that should be fought.

Additionally, it matters how it affects others in a direct sense, and also where there are Christians that may stumble in their efforts to please God, because they think watching anime is a sin, but see you being comfortable with it. Or perhaps they are worried cosplay is sinful, but aren't sure, but by seeing you do it, they decide it must be OK, when in fact, it is something between them and God that they should continue to pray about. Ideally, you would study and pray about this issue until you are convinced it is not sinful or is sinful.

If you are familiar with Scripture, are trying to stay connected to Jesus (e.g., talking to him regularly [sometimes called "praying"]), and trying to be obedient, then everything is OK for you unless you can pinpoint why it is wrong. It is helpful to ask people who know you and know the Lord better than you if they can think of Scripture that indicates any of it is wrong. (I wouldn't ask them for their opinion on whether it is OK or wrong at first.)

I feel guilty for almost everything I do/love.

To me, this means you really need to know Jesus better—perhaps by studying Scripture more, but that won't help some people in the short-term. It is valuable to be specific in your questions (in person or online) so you can get responses that include Scripture that applies to your situation.

It could also mean you need to be in therapy, but without more detail, I couldn't say one way or the other.

 

[shelley1952]

I feel that God wouldn't have allowed me to be chosen for the job if it were wrong,

This statement is not necessarily correct. If this were so then everyone would be in the right job or profession, we would always be in the right place at the right time and so on but as we know that isnt true. I am not saying I know if this is what you are suppose to be doing or not but I am saying this statement isnt necessarily true. I am glad to hear you are more concerned about pleasing God rather than yourself, that is what you were saying right ?
Like Greg said, it is kind of hard to tell your true relationship with Jesus is like by what you said. I am a little concerned by what you did say though. You do need to pray more on this until you have peace just dont sear your conscience.

 

[Sketcher]

If you were to give up anime/manga for a season - maybe a month, or if you want to emulate Jesus in the desert, 40 days - what would you replace it with? Does it get you into any sin trouble? Does it help keep you out of trouble?

I was once challenged by a mentor to give up heavy, "negative-sounding" music for a month, as he suspected it could be helping to feed areas of sin and struggle in my life. I did. It made no difference, so I started listening to it again.

I'll also say that this same mentor, by his example, taught me not to care about whether it was right or wrong to do certain things I had been stressing over. There's a time and a place for ceasing to care.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

I used to suffer from a lot of guilt and anxiety and thought of a lot of things that I enjoyed as sins, so at that time it was sin to me because it did not come from faith. I think the one thing that changed in my life from then to now is that my trust grew towards God more and less towards self imposed rules. I'll explain a little about self imposed rules, self imposed rules are a law unto themselves. I came to a realization that the passage that says "the law magnifies sin" applies to this ... at least in my internal universe. So when the self imposed rules became smaller, and my trust in God became bigger, the guilt and anxiety shrunk.

Usually I think of Philippians 4:4-8 as a meditation as well, it teaches us to replace the reflex to worry with the reflex to pray and trust God.

hope all goes well with you.

 

[Bkimble001]

Thank you all for your advice. I have continued praying and studying about this, and found many more resources about my particular kind of religious anxiety. I am thankful for your words of encouragement and I will take all of them to heart. This is something I will continue to battle with, so I desire your prayers if that's not too much to ask. Thanks again!

 

[shelley1952]

Thank you all for your advice. I have continued praying and studying about this, and found many more resources about my particular kind of religious anxiety. I am thankful for your words of encouragement and I will take all of them to heart. This is something I will continue to battle with, so I desire your prayers if that's not too much to ask. Thanks again!

You most certainly have my prayers. Please, whatever you do, do not turn from God and lose your way and end up in hell, there is no such thing as once saved always saved. Remember this too......if you are paying any attention at all to Biblical prophecy and are paying attention to prophecy being fulfilled all around us then you will know time is short and you need to consider that too. Since time is short, put all things in order. Keep an eye to the sky. May the Lord help you understand all this. If you do not pay attention to Bible prophecy, you need to learn about it quickly. God be with you !

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Thank you all for your advice. I have continued praying and studying about this, and found many more resources about my particular kind of religious anxiety. I am thankful for your words of encouragement and I will take all of them to heart. This is something I will continue to battle with, so I desire your prayers if that's not too much to ask. Thanks again!

Will pray.

What you have asked is certainly a hard one to know what to say. But I will say my two cents worth. I know from college that a lot of the types of movies that you mentioned contain pornographic elements to them. For the average non-Christian this is not a problem. However for me being a believer, I had to leave the room. If it was me making the choice for myself, I would not be involved in it. I am sure there are plenty of other forms of entertainment that could fill the void from your loss.

 

[Paxton25]

I have been all over the Internet looking for answers to my question or a place I could feel safe asking it. I hope to receive some Biblical, kind advice from fellow Christians here.

I am a 26-year-old Christian woman who has grown up in the Baptist church, although I identify more as nondenominational now. I attended an all-women's, liberal studies University, and that was where I most struggled with my faith, but I made it through. I now work mostly as a teacher and a writer. I used to feel I was very strong in my faith, and that I was generally a good person, but lately, I have developed a deep anxiety/depression that I am not.

I feel guilty for almost everything I do/love. I am a big fan of anime and manga and movies. I cosplay and attend anime conventions, I write stories and I discuss anime with lots of different people. I spend hours sometimes looking up articles and discussions about how Christians can approach anime in a positive, Godly way, and how it is only sinful if it somehow weakens us or leads us to sin, just like any other entertainment medium. I don't feel anime weakens me in my faith at all. I feel like I spend more time worrying about how to please God and emulate Jesus now than I ever have before. Even after I read these articles and agree with them, I go back to feeling anxious and guilty. I was recently hired to write anime and manga related articles and I feel anxious about even accepting the job. I feel that God wouldn't have allowed me to be chosen for the job if it were wrong, but then I feel awful for taking it because I'm afraid it may be wrong.

I guess what I'm saying is I don't know if it is my actual anxiety that is making me feel constantly guilty for my passions in life and my every move, or if it is God telling me to give all of it up. I go in circles all day long and can't think about anything else. I would appreciate any advice anyone could give about overcoming anxiety or what you think of my situation. Thanks so much.

Most Baptist doctrine is "fire & brimstone" soteriology (anxiety-inducing salvation imperatives). If one isn't fortunate enough to have a "Damascus road experience" (Acts 9), the thorns of anxiety, guilt, & legalism can effectively choke out the seeds of the gospel (perfect forgiveness by Christ for sins past/present). Unconditional love (agape) is the Christians' manifestation of Christ's love for us.

Humanist doctrine (e.g. Liberal Arts, Feminism, Socialism, etc.) will challenge anyone's Christ-centered faith, for humanity is the center of these areas of study (even the religious ones). Humanitarian? OK. Humanist? No way!

Anime, manga, movies, & cosplay don't seem to be satisfying your need for agape (unconditional love) at the present time. My suggestion to you is to pray & ask Christ to reveal agape to you as you interact with others. Take unconditional love wherever you can find it & freely share it.

Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31