Advice please.... PLEASE!!!

[pentecostalgirl0414]

Hi... Um, I need some advice. please.
I was abused when I was 3 by both my baby-sitters husband in more ways then one.. Then in the 7th grade, I was abused by my uncle.. Again, in more ways in one.. I have been having flashbacks again.. They are really vivid.. Some nights, I just wake up screaming.. I don't know what to do.. I mean, I want to talk about what happened. (I refer to the abuse as IT. I don't know why.. Just makes it a bit easier to type.) I see a counselor.. for other things, but I don't know how to talk about it or bring it up.. I open my mouth to tell, but the words won't come out.. I don't know what to do.. I just want to let go of all of this and put it behind me, but it is not working.. I get so depressed and I keep thinking that what happened to me is my fault because I did not open my mouth and tell... I just want all of this pain and this anger to go away.. But it won't.. I don't know if this makes any sense at all.. I was just rambling..

 

[Johnnz]

This is not unusual. Counselling will be activating your memories. When you geta flashback just say "Lord Jesus, you know what happened to me then. I don't want my life to be lived under the shadow of the past. I give that memory/experience back to you now and I am asking you to fill it with your life instead. Please just heal me and set m efree from te efefcts of that horrible experience. Thank you Lord Jesus"

Over a period you will find a gradual release from them.

John
NZ

 

[pentecostalgirl0414]

I will try that... I feel so weak that I let it haunt me.. I just want this to GO AWAY! I know that I sound stupid! But that is how I feel! I just want the dreams, the memorys to just leave. I want to let go, but I don't know how.. I mean, everytime I go to close my eyes, I see it over and over.. I am going to try what you suggested. Any more advice would be appreciated!

 

[thepianist]

It would be wonderful if you could talk to someone about it. If you can't seem to get the words out, start writing in a spiral. It may sound silly, but this is one avenue I use when nothing else will work. And of course, PRAY. Jesus already knows your heart - you can always talk to Him about anything. You are in my prayers dear.

 

[Johnnz]

You are not stupid, weak or anything like that. Memories are memories. Experiences become part of who we are.

Keep at it. You and God make a great team.

John
NZ

 

[Shadowcat]

Darl,

It must be so hard wanting to talk but the words won't come. What I have found helpful is finding a quiet, peaceful place where you won't be disturbed by other people and just talking to Jesus like you would talk to a close friend and just tell him what's in your heart and on your mind - it helps. He listens to you and feels the pain you feel. He also cares about you so much. I hope you soon find release from the pain you are feeling right now. My prayers are with you - take heart and remember God is holding you in the palm of His Hand.

Love & Hugs
Beck (Shadowcat)

 

[sk8Joyful]

Hi Kimberly,
It is common for any sort of abuse-survivors to 'not' be able to, readily, open-UP and share. (often, because they were terrified, & shamed, by their abusers); and also because -
well-meaning Christians
sadly, all to commonly, will tell such survivors to 'Give that memory/experience back to Jesus', in prayer. Often, both have the effect of stuffing/burying pain/anger down deeper.- unfortunately,
when negative emotions are allowed to fester long enough in the body, they will
make you really sick with varying outwardly manifested chronic disease.

Evidently, neither of those, will serve you well, in the long run, as far as your *Happy Health* are concerned. And these latter two are what you want to enjoy, again right

As a counselor myself, here's what I suggest:
Write down any/all of your 'Vivid-dreams, & flashbacks' - just as they are. And
Share the writings with your counselor, hopefully a Christian as well, yes? and
Make sure, this counselor helps you:
1. Preserve (from your experiences), any positiveconstructive-learnings in your memory.
and
2. Render negative/destructive-emotions harmlessly from your memory, by
you asking to be guided/led thru a wonderful Forgiveness-process.
and
3. As well: Construct your bright, shining future full of God's successful emotions

With a counselor skilled in these (plus a couple dozen similar) areas, you should - in less than one month - be back to being, and living as Happy & Healthy, as God created you, in the 1st. place.

I wish you ALL the best !!!

Feel free Posting any further questions here...

 

[Annoula]

hi friend,

if you cannot utter words, try to express yourself by other means.
make a drawing, pick a specific song that suits you, cook something ... whatever you like ...
then - with the help of the counsellor - you can focus on the "thing" you have created. you may find it easier to talk about it then.

there is a specific approach for traumas if you are interested. here is the link to the american site if you are interested.


God bless you honey!

 

[pentecostalgirl0414]

Thanks for all of the advice everyone!! I really appreciate it! I am going to try and talk to my counselor about it! Thanks again!