Advice Please, Old Temptations

[sara700]

Became a believer and gave my life to Christ over a year ago a year into my marraige. and when I first began was able to completely turn my life over to Christ and abstained from everything. But, now things are a little harder. I'm in an unequally yoked relationship and we are very much involved in the music scene. I am a singer and he's a musician. I am having a hard time resisting old temptations like alchohol and even cigarettes. I am not excessive with either and have not gone back to other heavier things I used to do, but I wish I had the strength to abstain or just feel easy about my recent behavior. I am not sure if drinking one to like 4 or 5 beers is necessarily wrong. Many Christians including family have given me differing opinions on this. This is part of why I haven't really stopped. I know with the cigarettes though, I completely want to stop. Any suggestions as to how anybody else has overcome these struggles with the flesh?

 

[tommyt]

I am under the impression that the music scene that you are involved in may have some influence on your temptation. Maybe I am wrong.
From my experiences, you will have to change your surroundings to successfully refrain from drinking or smoking. Also, as you probably already know, drugs work the same way. If you keep yourself around drugs, no matter what kind, you will eventually end up using again.
My advice is to change your surroundings completely. I also know that it is extremely hard to do so. I am having a hard time doing the same. I am in the process of trying to determine what is more important, my frienships of 15 years or sobriety. It is a difficult thing and it is definitely easier said than done.
You have to find new friendships and new surroundings that are not filled with alcohol, cigarettes, etc. to successfully make the transition.
It is always easier to resist temptation if it isn't in your face.

 

[goldenviolet]

pray about your unwillingness, willfullness and willingness. the best thing you can do is take up your armor in a soft way on the outside and tough on the inside. i mean you show you are stopping. it is a witness all on it's own that you are changing. and on the inside disapline. think of the satisfaction and spirituality you will gain. practice putting aside each thing as it comes to you. this is between you and Jesus. if you slip up. practice getting back up. you can do it.

Dear Father, please bless sara with a new determination. please help draw her near and show her she can do these things that she feels moved to do for you. in Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Harlan Norris]

Became a believer and gave my life to Christ over a year ago a year into my marraige. and when I first began was able to completely turn my life over to Christ and abstained from everything. But, now things are a little harder. I'm in an unequally yoked relationship and we are very much involved in the music scene. I am a singer and he's a musician. I am having a hard time resisting old temptations like alchohol and even cigarettes. I am not excessive with either and have not gone back to other heavier things I used to do, but I wish I had the strength to abstain or just feel easy about my recent behavior. I am not sure if drinking one to like 4 or 5 beers is necessarily wrong. Many Christians including family have given me differing opinions on this. This is part of why I haven't really stopped. I know with the cigarettes though, I completely want to stop. Any suggestions as to how anybody else has overcome these struggles with the flesh?

You are in a tough spot.Naturally we want our lifes to remain what we consider normal.However a Christian walk will not allow this.All the things we did in our former life must be carfully examined and the bad got rid of.This is the cause of much conflict in a new Christian.You are playing with fire so to speak.If you feel like you are being pulled away from your faith and tempted.Well, it's probably because you are.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Dearest Sara,

You are in a "tough spot" I agree what the other members have written.

Personally, I find that I do have to change my surroundings. I am a new recovering alcoholic and know that I can not even have a sip...or I will end up where I was before detox.

My inlaws are Europian, and so alcohol is served regularly as this is the way it was in Greece. They have been very supportive regarding my "situation as it stands right now" I don't expect (or want) them to change their "lifestyle" and know that soon they will continue to serve alcohol at meals and such...I just have to " take up my armor in a soft way on the outside and tough on the inside" as goldenviolet stated...

My for you Sara is that you seek the Lord...as He promises...He will guide you in the way you should go.

 

[Ruth~]

Became a believer and gave my life to Christ over a year ago a year into my marraige. and when I first began was able to completely turn my life over to Christ and abstained from everything. But, now things are a little harder. I'm in an unequally yoked relationship and we are very much involved in the music scene. I am a singer and he's a musician. I am having a hard time resisting old temptations like alchohol and even cigarettes. I am not excessive with either and have not gone back to other heavier things I used to do, but I wish I had the strength to abstain or just feel easy about my recent behavior. I am not sure if drinking one to like 4 or 5 beers is necessarily wrong. Many Christians including family have given me differing opinions on this. This is part of why I haven't really stopped. I know with the cigarettes though, I completely want to stop. Any suggestions as to how anybody else has overcome these struggles with the flesh?

I quit drinking with the help of a med. called Camprol. I quit smoking with the help of the patch. Both of these measures made it easier for me. When I was drinking I was always questioning my drinking and the same with smoking. Then I got too excessive with both and had to quit for my health's sake. I hope the answers come to you with God's help and prayer. Take care.

 

[XtianAgain]

If you are feeling convicted by it you probably shouldn't be doing it. But, don't try by yourself. There's several programs to help out. There's AA, Nicotine Anonymous,Celebrate Recovery. If you need help finding any meetings please let me know! YOU CAN DO IT!

 

[sara700]

Thank You all and you are totally right.

I do feel convicted about the drinking and smoking even in moderation and I feel somewhat powerless to stop it.

It's like so annoying and pathetic for me when I want a cigarette when I smell someone smoking or that I want to just have a few beers because others are. I mean I can't believe it's that simple and ridiculous and that I have that little control.

When my husband and I were seperating and planning to go on different paths it was easy for me to quit and abstain. I'd drink maybe 1 bottle of wine over a period of like 10 days. I didn't smoke cigarettes for over a year. I'd drink like a glass of wine in the evening watching the Golden Girls or Frasier or something but, I didn't feel convicted or guilty and I never wanted to keep going.

But, now that we are working on our relationship and coming closer together and participating in the same activities (which is good and positive in my eyes on many levels), it's hard for me to resist other old temptations. It's like when one good thing happens, then something bad comes in.

I don't feel my behavior is his fault just because he does these things, I feel I should be able to resist it, but I can't. I guess that's addiction and triggers. When we first started going out, I was reading some AA forums and was feeling help, but then I started to feel like I wouldn't be out with him and his friends (and they were out all the time for days at a time) if I didn't participate and that he would find another girl to do those things with.

He says that he won't but I'm not sure if I believe him, and now I'm sort of in the thick of it. I think I've smoked and drank enough that it's just becoming my choice.

I guess I'm just asking for your prayers that God will help me move past this and stop being so weak. I don't know how to stop. I'm not excessive with any of these things, but I know as a Christian, it's not appropriate and I am drinking more than just the one glass. More like 3 glasses/beers every other day and 1 or 2 cigarettes each day.

Well, I have prayed and God has helped me in my marraige some and in other areas of my life. So I will continue to pray and hope that he will help me with this. I feel so far away from healing right now. Please give me your prayers. I feel that it's pathetic that I just can't stop, but that is truly the case right now.

 

[PrairieGurl]

I guess I'm just asking for your prayers that God will help me move past this and stop being so weak. I don't know how to stop. I'm not excessive with any of these things, but I know as a Christian, it's not appropriate and I am drinking more than just the one glass. More like 3 glasses/beers every other day and 1 or 2 cigarettes each day.

Well, I have prayed and God has helped me in my marraige some and in other areas of my life. So I will continue to pray and hope that he will help me with this. I feel so far away from healing right now. Please give me your prayers. I feel that it's pathetic that I just can't stop, but that is truly the case right now.

Dearest Sara,
You HAVE my (& I know "our) s!!! And remember "in our weaknesses God shows His strength"

Sometimes it feels like "complete" healing will never occur but because I've been there and am still struggeling with a habit , I know waiting is so very hard to do. It's NOT "pathetic that you just can't stop"...we are but human beings that NEED to SO MUCH help from our Lord.

With s,
Wendy