Advice, negative or positive please

[Seadish]

My husband and I have over the past year made a decision to leave our state as prices here are out of control and I can never retire here, I am at the point in my long career where everyday is too painful on my spirit and my body career wise. We even went so far as to purchase a home where we want to relocate it was fast, fairly simple, and a perfect home, perfect area. We have prayed for God to block us if it wasn’t His will. Problem - 6 months ago my older brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has not responded well to treatment. I love my family we are always there for each other we don’t see each er a ton although we don’t live far away from each other. I need so much to go to our retirement home but don’t want to hurt my bro who only has my sis and I. I know it’s super horrible to go, but I also have walked 3 other family members through a slow and challenging departure from this world and I’m not sure my being there really helps anyone. Stay or go, I’m broken heated either way.Anyone had to make such a decision?

 

[JacobKStarkey]

How painful spiritually and emotionally terminal illnesses can affect the family of those ill. I quit my employment and retired to come home for a sibling in the same situation. Pancreatic cancer normally takes the victim fairly quickly. My sister lasted nine months. Stay as long as you can. Ask God for the strength to be there for your brother. I will pray for you to have the strength you need to endure this chapter in your life.

 

[Kenny'sID]

A truly bad situation, and I'm sorry for your brother.

How far away are you moving?

 

[Seadish]

Ya me too clear across the country as much as I need this for me , I won’t really be able to walk away from him but I know and I’ve seen people hold on so long so many years that’s the part I can’t do again They gave him a September timeframe of being done with treatments two weeks ago they said he needs to get his life in order and they wouldnt operate 6 months of chemo hasn’t done any good then they decided they’d check again at the end of summer I do hold on to aGod, but literally my job is killing me and the only joy I have is my son my husband and my hope to get out of here.selfish Iknow you know here in Colorado you cant touch a home for less than 350 and that’s in the hood, they just legalized magic mushrooms too, there so many homeless here and good it’s cold, and golly I old lol My bro is a loner who’s always taken care of us girls he doesn’t much let us help him.

 

[GodLovesCats]

Pray for patience. You are impatient to leave Colorado, but at the aame time know that can't happen yet. Your brother needs you to be there for him the rest of his life unless God miraculously heals the cancer. I am always opposed to surgery for pancreatic cancer because to remove part of the pancreas, the surgeon needs to cut out parts of all surrounding organs, and the pateint can get Type 1 diabetes in severe cases. So the best thing to do is let him live as well as he can with symptomatic treatments if chemotherapy has not been working. For this to happen, you have to stay put until after his funeral.

 

[jacks]

Praying for you, this is a difficult situation. My advice however, would be to go on with the planned move. The money you save by moving could more than make up for any airfare or motel nights when needed to care for your brother. Perhaps talk it over with your brother. For awhile I was afraid that I had a terminal cancer (Now fine, thank the Lord!) and I would not have wanted my siblings to change their life plans to accommodate me. In fact I often didn't want my family hovering over me. Truly for the most part, besides moral support there is little the family can do day by day. Be there for him when he needs it, being there 24/7 really isn't necessary.

 

[Seadish]

Both such wise answers ty so much for your input it was much needed ..Going with a bit more patience and God is so so good he will Bless us

 

[Seadish]

Pray for patience. You are impatient to leave Colorado, but at the aame time know that can't happen yet. Your brother needs you to be there for him the rest of his life unless God miraculously heals the cancer. I am always opposed to surgery for pancreatic cancer because to remove part of the pancreas, the surgeon needs to cut out parts of all surrounding organs, and the pateint can get Type 1 diabetes in severe cases. So the best thing to do is let him live as well as he can with symptomatic treatments if chemotherapy has not been working. For this to happen, you have to stay put until after his funeral.

Your a dr. Just curious.. but. Love your advice and will be more patient

 

[Seadish]

Praying for you, this is a difficult situation. My advice however, would be to go on with the planned move. The money you save by moving could more than make up for any airfare or motel nights when needed to care for your brother. Perhaps talk it over with your brother. For awhile I was afraid that I had a terminal cancer (Now fine, thank the Lord!) and I would not have wanted my siblings to change their life plans to accommodate me. In fact I often didn't want my family hovering over me. Truly for the most part, besides moral support there is little the family can do day by day. Be there for him when he needs it, being there 24/7 really isn't necessary.

And ty I appreciate you I put I definitely will but my heart just can’t leave him just yet I can be a bit patient I have learned to never pray for it tho!

 

[GodLovesCats]

No, I am not a doctor, but my sister is an oncologist (specializing in breast cancer). My grandma had liver cancer and my dad had colon cancer and both of them died after having surgery.

 

[Seadish]

No, I am not a doctor, but my sister is an oncologist (specializing in breast cancer). My grandma had liver cancer and my dad had colon cancer and both of them died after having surgery.

Ya they don’t think he’d make it thru the surgery but I will chill my jets a tad

 

[GodLovesCats]

Pray for him every day. God always answers.

 

[Snflwrgrl]

My husband and I have over the past year made a decision to leave our state as prices here are out of control and I can never retire here, I am at the point in my long career where everyday is too painful on my spirit and my body career wise. We even went so far as to purchase a home where we want to relocate it was fast, fairly simple, and a perfect home, perfect area. We have prayed for God to block us if it wasn’t His will. Problem - 6 months ago my older brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has not responded well to treatment. I love my family we are always there for each other we don’t see each er a ton although we don’t live far away from each other. I need so much to go to our retirement home but don’t want to hurt my bro who only has my sis and I. I know it’s super horrible to go, but I also have walked 3 other family members through a slow and challenging departure from this world and I’m not sure my being there really helps anyone. Stay or go, I’m broken heated either way.Anyone had to make such a decision?

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for all of the losses you have endured and I’m deeply sorry about your brother. I will be praying for you, for God’s direction and for peace with your decisions. I’m glad you have something you are looking forward to in the purchase of your new home. I wish you much happiness there. Once things settle down you may want to consider GriefShare. I went after my mom passed away and it helped being with other people who understood my emotions and what I was going through and it helped me to truly heal. It’s offered nationwide so there’s a good chance there will be one in your area.