-
The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.
Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
Advice needed on love..
- Thread starter alexanderky22
- Start date
- Status
redkingjoe
Regular Member
hey bub,
1 how old r u? r u independent financially? r u studying and u can move to CA to study?
2 it's my understanding that when one is "old" enough(ie mature), one will naturally leave one's family and get married with the spouse.
3 i think u will eventually move out from your Mom and Dad so this should not be a problem in the long run. your Mom and Dad will also well prepare in their mind that u will be somewhere in the long run so it is a well-expected event and u don't really need to feel bad about leaving
4 any idea of suicide is not necessary. think: if u suicided, both your lover and parents would lose you forever. don't even think in this direction, ok?
5 the best thing to do now:
a) sit down and talk to parents about your confused situation. they will be more than happy to help you through(think about this: they were your age many years ago, and they know a lot about love affairs, hehehe...that may surprise u)
b) if u don't like talking to parents(generation gap), try talking to the school counsellor to clarify your options, your pastor/teacher might help too(make sure ppl u talk to are well qualified ones or with good experiences)
c) friends with similar age might not have sufficient experience/education to help u out although they can give u support
d) pray to God and see what he wants u
I'll pray for u tonight. OK!
Best regards
red
1 how old r u? r u independent financially? r u studying and u can move to CA to study?
2 it's my understanding that when one is "old" enough(ie mature), one will naturally leave one's family and get married with the spouse.
3 i think u will eventually move out from your Mom and Dad so this should not be a problem in the long run. your Mom and Dad will also well prepare in their mind that u will be somewhere in the long run so it is a well-expected event and u don't really need to feel bad about leaving
4 any idea of suicide is not necessary. think: if u suicided, both your lover and parents would lose you forever. don't even think in this direction, ok?
5 the best thing to do now:
a) sit down and talk to parents about your confused situation. they will be more than happy to help you through(think about this: they were your age many years ago, and they know a lot about love affairs, hehehe...that may surprise u)
b) if u don't like talking to parents(generation gap), try talking to the school counsellor to clarify your options, your pastor/teacher might help too(make sure ppl u talk to are well qualified ones or with good experiences)
c) friends with similar age might not have sufficient experience/education to help u out although they can give u support
d) pray to God and see what he wants u
I'll pray for u tonight. OK!
Best regards
red
Upvote
0
hi
"1 how old r u? r u independent financially? r u studying and u can move to CA to study?"
I'm 20 years old. I'm not independent finacially, but I plan to be very soon. I'm studying in College from a home schooled type of thing. I can move to CA and still study. I'd just have to change my mailing address.
"2 it's my understanding that when one is "old" enough(ie mature), one will naturally leave one's family and get married with the spouse."
i know but i'm sorta a strong 'momma's boy'. it's hard to leave my mum without crying a lot *embarassed*
"3 i think u will eventually move out from your Mom and Dad so this should not be a problem in the long run. your Mom and Dad will also well prepare in their mind that u will be somewhere in the long run so it is a well-expected event and u don't really need to feel bad about leaving"
yeah thank you for the kindness..
4 any idea of suicide is not necessary. think: if u suicided, both your lover and parents would lose you forever. don't even think in this direction, ok?
Youre right, I shouldnt think that way. L Both would lose out, and even me.
5 the best thing to do now:
a) sit down and talk to parents about your confused situation. they will be more than happy to help you through(think about this: they were your age many years ago, and they know a lot about love affairs, hehehe...that may surprise u)
b) if u don't like talking to parents(generation gap), try talking to the school counsellor to clarify your options, your pastor/teacher might help too(make sure ppl u talk to are well qualified ones or with good experiences)
c) friends with similar age might not have sufficient experience/education to help u out although they can give u support
d) pray to God and see what he wants u
thank you so much! I really appreciate this. It means a lot to me.
"1 how old r u? r u independent financially? r u studying and u can move to CA to study?"
I'm 20 years old. I'm not independent finacially, but I plan to be very soon. I'm studying in College from a home schooled type of thing. I can move to CA and still study. I'd just have to change my mailing address.
"2 it's my understanding that when one is "old" enough(ie mature), one will naturally leave one's family and get married with the spouse."
i know but i'm sorta a strong 'momma's boy'. it's hard to leave my mum without crying a lot *embarassed*
"3 i think u will eventually move out from your Mom and Dad so this should not be a problem in the long run. your Mom and Dad will also well prepare in their mind that u will be somewhere in the long run so it is a well-expected event and u don't really need to feel bad about leaving"
yeah thank you for the kindness..
4 any idea of suicide is not necessary. think: if u suicided, both your lover and parents would lose you forever. don't even think in this direction, ok?
Youre right, I shouldnt think that way. L Both would lose out, and even me.
5 the best thing to do now:
a) sit down and talk to parents about your confused situation. they will be more than happy to help you through(think about this: they were your age many years ago, and they know a lot about love affairs, hehehe...that may surprise u)
b) if u don't like talking to parents(generation gap), try talking to the school counsellor to clarify your options, your pastor/teacher might help too(make sure ppl u talk to are well qualified ones or with good experiences)
c) friends with similar age might not have sufficient experience/education to help u out although they can give u support
d) pray to God and see what he wants u
thank you so much! I really appreciate this. It means a lot to me.
Upvote
0
redkingjoe
Regular Member
hey bub,
1 i did pray for u last night. hope u r feeling better about the torn between "love" and "home". hope that u can clarify all your options on hand. i can feel the tension that u r experiencing.
2 even though u r based in KY and all your family and buddies r in KY theoretically, still you(your heart) want to move to CA. it sounds to me that u really in love deeply(is that Jay?).
3 since u r 20 and your brother has been married with kids, i really don't need to assump that your parents will expect u be independent very shortly(in 1, 3 or 5 yrs).
i have the following ideas:
a)since your independency is a well expected event, seriously u should talk to parents, school counsellors, your church and your girl friend about your future
b) this is an opportunity for your growing up. learning to communicate "love/feelings related" thingy is very difficult
c) if u don't know how to start with them, just print this thread and show them. these ppl will be more than happy to discuss with u. ALSO, PLEASE SIT DOWN IN THE LIBRARY AND WRITE DOWN THE FOLLOWING:
i) what's the +ve and -ve for moving and staying
ii) what do you want to do with yourself in 1, 3, 5, 10 years in family, career, study, with God. how does moving or staying affect this? what's the best time to move?
iii) what r the possible options that you can take?
YOU REALLY NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN TO THINK CLEARLY than we can talk again or u had better talk to your counsellors. the more u talk(with knowlegable ppl) and write, the clearer your feelings and options will be.
d) personally speaking, CA style of life is very much diff from KY. CA seems to have more oppertunities and a lot of activities but CA is very competitives
(BTW: what kind of subjects r u studying? be a good guy, get good grade so that you will have more opportunities for picking school)
best regards(will pray for u again tonight)
red
1 i did pray for u last night. hope u r feeling better about the torn between "love" and "home". hope that u can clarify all your options on hand. i can feel the tension that u r experiencing.
2 even though u r based in KY and all your family and buddies r in KY theoretically, still you(your heart) want to move to CA. it sounds to me that u really in love deeply(is that Jay?).
3 since u r 20 and your brother has been married with kids, i really don't need to assump that your parents will expect u be independent very shortly(in 1, 3 or 5 yrs).
i have the following ideas:
a)since your independency is a well expected event, seriously u should talk to parents, school counsellors, your church and your girl friend about your future
b) this is an opportunity for your growing up. learning to communicate "love/feelings related" thingy is very difficult
c) if u don't know how to start with them, just print this thread and show them. these ppl will be more than happy to discuss with u. ALSO, PLEASE SIT DOWN IN THE LIBRARY AND WRITE DOWN THE FOLLOWING:
i) what's the +ve and -ve for moving and staying
ii) what do you want to do with yourself in 1, 3, 5, 10 years in family, career, study, with God. how does moving or staying affect this? what's the best time to move?
iii) what r the possible options that you can take?
YOU REALLY NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN TO THINK CLEARLY than we can talk again or u had better talk to your counsellors. the more u talk(with knowlegable ppl) and write, the clearer your feelings and options will be.
d) personally speaking, CA style of life is very much diff from KY. CA seems to have more oppertunities and a lot of activities but CA is very competitives
(BTW: what kind of subjects r u studying? be a good guy, get good grade so that you will have more opportunities for picking school)
best regards(will pray for u again tonight)
red
Upvote
0
redkingjoe
Regular Member
OK. Now i fully understood the problem here:
1 It's really tough to be different and it'll be extremely difficult to explain to your family or most others about this. anyway, suicide will be the worst option. each of us will be responsibile to God for our deeds when the day comes. it's not good to judge ppl for being different.
2 please find time to talk to professional counsellor so that you can make some wise decisions about yourself, your family and your future.
3 God love each of us. please pray to Him more often about the situation and seek for His direction.
4 finally, i personally think that CA, especially Hollywood, is the place for top hairdresser. please work hard to become one(the top one). sounds to me u r in the right career path with your personality.
best regards(i'll pray for u and Jay, OK)
red
1 It's really tough to be different and it'll be extremely difficult to explain to your family or most others about this. anyway, suicide will be the worst option. each of us will be responsibile to God for our deeds when the day comes. it's not good to judge ppl for being different.
2 please find time to talk to professional counsellor so that you can make some wise decisions about yourself, your family and your future.
3 God love each of us. please pray to Him more often about the situation and seek for His direction.
4 finally, i personally think that CA, especially Hollywood, is the place for top hairdresser. please work hard to become one(the top one). sounds to me u r in the right career path with your personality.
best regards(i'll pray for u and Jay, OK)
red
Upvote
0
W
Wakeup2god
Guest
Hey Alex, like Red ust said 'I understand the problem here', well to be honest I don't fully but that's OK.
One thing you must be fully aware of is that if you move away you could be moving into a sinfull area. To love a man is fine, to find anyone to love is a great blessing but, if your relationship goes beyond love and into the physical then you'll be in sin. Same as if an unmarried couple get it on. Sin is sin to God.
Moving could place you in a compromising position regarding your faith. You obviously have faith or you wouldn't be on CF asking for advice from Christians.
Suicide realy isnt an option is it. Just look around you there are many people in worse situations than you, with a lot less hope. Be encouraged by that, things could be worse. egarding your career, if the Lord wants you to be the best in your field He'll make the way.
You realy need to find your peace where you are before you move on. You won't find the grass any greener in Hollywood, infact you'll probably find less grass and cut off from those who realy love you. I'm sure your family and friends are well aware of part of your situation.
God bless and guide you
One thing you must be fully aware of is that if you move away you could be moving into a sinfull area. To love a man is fine, to find anyone to love is a great blessing but, if your relationship goes beyond love and into the physical then you'll be in sin. Same as if an unmarried couple get it on. Sin is sin to God.
Moving could place you in a compromising position regarding your faith. You obviously have faith or you wouldn't be on CF asking for advice from Christians.
Suicide realy isnt an option is it. Just look around you there are many people in worse situations than you, with a lot less hope. Be encouraged by that, things could be worse. egarding your career, if the Lord wants you to be the best in your field He'll make the way.
You realy need to find your peace where you are before you move on. You won't find the grass any greener in Hollywood, infact you'll probably find less grass and cut off from those who realy love you. I'm sure your family and friends are well aware of part of your situation.
God bless and guide you
Upvote
0
redkingjoe
Regular Member
alexanderky22 said:thank you all so much for the support. that makes me feel good
i agree suicide is the worst option...
i have a counsellor who i see once a week.
thank you for the compliment on the hairdresser thing.
And thank you for praying for me, that means *A LOT*
1 glad that u r feeling better now. pls read "Wakeup2God"'s post carefully for his wsie advise and you'll get a better understanding of the whole picture.
2 after all these discussions, one thing u really need to remember: affection comes and goes. at this moment u like/love someone/something but at the other moment u might even dislike or hate him/it.(look at the divorce rate and i don't think i need to elaborate). since u r only 20, the world is still awaiting u to discover and experience. u might not even understand your ownself in love and relationship. be alert of the options that u are considering and make wise decision.
3 Confucius is a super wise scholar in History. he says that male will not be mature untill the age of 40. at this particular moment of time, your current affection might not be accepted by the main stream of the society. who knows what your perspective on like and dislikes will be in 1, 3, 5 or 10 years.
4 At age of 20, i think the focus of life is a) understanding of oneself b) enhancing the ability(to ultra-limit) of oneself such that you can excel in your career and to contribute to the world and glorify God.
Upvote
0
J
justreading
Guest
Don't move at least not yet. I am very very sorry your father was not there for you and/or you were very hurt by a man when you were very little. But please don't let your homosexual (feelings) run your life and take you into a world of sin and emptiness. Find a church where true believers reside and get connected and be loved/mentored/cared about by men in a Godly way. That is your first step to wholeness. It's a long, hard, and painful road but much much more peaceful and fullfilling then the homosexual lifestyle. I will pray for you my brother and my God bring healing into your life and my HE help you see the light and feel HIS LOVE!
God Bless you!
God Bless you!
Upvote
0
- Status
Similar threads
