Hi,
This is my first post in this forum. I really needed to vent and get some help in overcoming my anger.
Apologies for the long post.
My mum is oldest kid in her family, total of 7 siblings including my mum (5 uncles 1 aunt all are married).
My mum is the least wealthy/rich in her family, we earn enough to get by and my mum takes care of my grandma and work in my grandma's shop to earn her wage.
My dad have a little general item shop that we set up in the house. Needless to say we are not rich but we're a happy family.
My mum sacrifice her study ( she did not finish college) to work in grandma's shop to earn some money for all her brothers and sister so they can study abroad ( all of them study overseas and have master degrees).
All this time, my mum takes care of my grandma that doesn't treat her well ( because she's the least wealthy kid and a female. In our culture, son is highly regarded and daughter are not).
Now my grandma is very sick and require a LOT of money for operation. She's 80+ and operation is very risky. My uncles are wealthy enough to pay the operation fee outright and are willing to do so.
My problem:
They all left grandma to my mum to care, none of them come to visit my grandma. My mum spending day and night caring for my grandma, not counting all the scolding my grandma gives to her. She stayed in the hospital all the time to tending to grandma.
My uncle created a group chat on WhatsApp that includes Everyone that is part of the big family. All 7 siblings, spouses, kids, in laws to talk about random stuff.
These few weeks, all they've talked about in the chat group is about my grandma treatment option. My mum is very scared and doesn't agree of operation because of my grandma's age. She constantly look for different doctors opinion and post it on the chat group.
Yesterday, one of my aunt said that a group of pastor told my grandma to not do the operation because 6 doctors has said no to operation and only 2 said she should be operated.
My 3rd uncle was mad and calling my mum idiot for bringing pastor to pray and calling her charismatic and stupid.
Today, again another one of my uncle called her stupid and idiot because she ask many questions when visiting the doctor. ( they've all agreed on operation now, and my mum just wanted to ask to be sure that my grandma condition is stable enough for operation)
I'm mad that they kept on calling my mum idiot and stupid. This has happened multiple times throughout the years I'm growing up.
I can't say anything to my uncles because it will be regarded as I'm telling him off and being rude. My mum will be the one that get the scolding again for not teaching me properly.
I'm very angry that they say those thing. The chat group has kids that still in the primary school (my 3rd uncle daughters and last uncle daughters).
I've been thinking to get back at them and tell them off in front of their daughter, but I'm too scared of what it might do to my mum.
I'm so sorry for the long post. But I really need some advice to get rid of my anger. Insult to my mum is unacceptable because my mum sacrifice EVERYTHING for them. They don't even regard her as their older sister. And they always insult how our family is poor because my dad doesn't work properly/ or have a big corporation like them ( my dad is high school graduate and he's trying his best to make some money for the family although needless to say is insignificant to them )
Thank you for reading.. any advice are welcomed..
This is my first post in this forum. I really needed to vent and get some help in overcoming my anger.
Apologies for the long post.
My mum is oldest kid in her family, total of 7 siblings including my mum (5 uncles 1 aunt all are married).
My mum is the least wealthy/rich in her family, we earn enough to get by and my mum takes care of my grandma and work in my grandma's shop to earn her wage.
My dad have a little general item shop that we set up in the house. Needless to say we are not rich but we're a happy family.
My mum sacrifice her study ( she did not finish college) to work in grandma's shop to earn some money for all her brothers and sister so they can study abroad ( all of them study overseas and have master degrees).
All this time, my mum takes care of my grandma that doesn't treat her well ( because she's the least wealthy kid and a female. In our culture, son is highly regarded and daughter are not).
Now my grandma is very sick and require a LOT of money for operation. She's 80+ and operation is very risky. My uncles are wealthy enough to pay the operation fee outright and are willing to do so.
My problem:
They all left grandma to my mum to care, none of them come to visit my grandma. My mum spending day and night caring for my grandma, not counting all the scolding my grandma gives to her. She stayed in the hospital all the time to tending to grandma.
My uncle created a group chat on WhatsApp that includes Everyone that is part of the big family. All 7 siblings, spouses, kids, in laws to talk about random stuff.
These few weeks, all they've talked about in the chat group is about my grandma treatment option. My mum is very scared and doesn't agree of operation because of my grandma's age. She constantly look for different doctors opinion and post it on the chat group.
Yesterday, one of my aunt said that a group of pastor told my grandma to not do the operation because 6 doctors has said no to operation and only 2 said she should be operated.
My 3rd uncle was mad and calling my mum idiot for bringing pastor to pray and calling her charismatic and stupid.
Today, again another one of my uncle called her stupid and idiot because she ask many questions when visiting the doctor. ( they've all agreed on operation now, and my mum just wanted to ask to be sure that my grandma condition is stable enough for operation)
I'm mad that they kept on calling my mum idiot and stupid. This has happened multiple times throughout the years I'm growing up.
I can't say anything to my uncles because it will be regarded as I'm telling him off and being rude. My mum will be the one that get the scolding again for not teaching me properly.
I'm very angry that they say those thing. The chat group has kids that still in the primary school (my 3rd uncle daughters and last uncle daughters).
I've been thinking to get back at them and tell them off in front of their daughter, but I'm too scared of what it might do to my mum.
I'm so sorry for the long post. But I really need some advice to get rid of my anger. Insult to my mum is unacceptable because my mum sacrifice EVERYTHING for them. They don't even regard her as their older sister. And they always insult how our family is poor because my dad doesn't work properly/ or have a big corporation like them ( my dad is high school graduate and he's trying his best to make some money for the family although needless to say is insignificant to them )
Thank you for reading.. any advice are welcomed..
