me and my "special friend" are starting some sort of realationship, but neither of us know exactly what it is. what is the difference between courting and dating? am i too young to court? i'm 15, he's 16. we don't know what our ultimate goal is in the relationship. we've decided kissing is against the rules. we will only kiss if we get married. any advice from you smart people?
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advice for a 15 year old?
- Thread starter rejoiceness
- Start date
I think that if you're not old enough to be looking towards marriage you're not old enough to court. Personally, I think 15 is way too young.
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Katty
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Be friends, hang out (I encourage you to hang out in groups), and just enjoy being teens together. This is the time of your life and the beginning to your journey of self-discovery... have fun and don't worry about "relationships" yet. 
~Katty~
~Katty~
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Pope Gonzo
Well-Known Member
Exactly. Be friends, and keep God in the mix. Maybe try to keep each other accountable in regard to quiet times and all that fun stuff
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invisiblebabe
He will restore the years the locust hath eaten
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You're not kissing? Awesome. Stick to it.
Keep it casual, more of a friends thing than anything else. 15 and 16 are too young in today's society for planning marriage. Y'all have plenty of time. Encourage each other to develop the gifts God's given you, too.... think of fun things you can do together... enjoy it!
Stick to it. Keep it casual, more of a friends thing than anything else. 15 and 16 are too young in today's society for planning marriage. Y'all have plenty of time. Encourage each other to develop the gifts God's given you, too.... think of fun things you can do together... enjoy it!
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MusicMelOU
Regular Member
I envy you; I wish I had waited before I kissed anyone, but my first kiss was at age 15. I also wasn't a Christian then either so I guess I didn't see it as anything bothersome at the time.
I've done a lot of research on this whole "courting" thing, and I would say that unless you are with this person with marraige in mind, you and he are not courting, because that is what courting is. I'll have to agree with everyone else and say that you should stay friends and focus on developing that deep friendship so that when you do feel like marraige could come into play later on in life, nothing has been sullied by jumping the gun too soon.
I am single right now; I am interested romantically in someone who is a friend of mine, and even though I am at the stage in my life where I do have marraige in mind , my focus is still on being friends with this person and developing it deeper because it will build a stronger foundation if we decide to initiate a romantic relationship leading towards marraige in the future. I'm really in no rush; I used to think I needed to be, but as I get older I realize that there's no need to be. God will work things out if you're patient.
I've done a lot of research on this whole "courting" thing, and I would say that unless you are with this person with marraige in mind, you and he are not courting, because that is what courting is. I'll have to agree with everyone else and say that you should stay friends and focus on developing that deep friendship so that when you do feel like marraige could come into play later on in life, nothing has been sullied by jumping the gun too soon.
I am single right now; I am interested romantically in someone who is a friend of mine, and even though I am at the stage in my life where I do have marraige in mind , my focus is still on being friends with this person and developing it deeper because it will build a stronger foundation if we decide to initiate a romantic relationship leading towards marraige in the future. I'm really in no rush; I used to think I needed to be, but as I get older I realize that there's no need to be. God will work things out if you're patient.
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IslandBreeze
Caribbean Queen
If you aren't ready willing and able to be married, dating (or courting) is pointless and shouldn't be done IMO.
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Warrior Poet
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rejoiceness said:
Doh i had a good response till I came to this spot and then realized I cant answer...
Warrior Poet
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LadyBird
Dance Me to the End of Love
Good advice Dave! I wish that I would have waited until I was at least 17. I started dating my boyfriend at 15...and now we are 19 and still together and hope to get married in a few years. It's been tough, we've worked SOOOO hard to get where we are today. We've matured a lot and grown up...being in a serious relationship when you are so young is very difficult...it's emtionally and spiritually hard...as well as you want to do physical things too. My advice: WAIT!!! Don't date unless you can see yourself with this girl for a long time. Be friends with her...it's okay to like each other and wait until you are a decent age to date.
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xpunkskaterx
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Belle said:
Im 16, and my girlfriend is 15, and we've been going out for a year and 5 months, and it has been really tough. But my advice is in whatever you do, keep God in the relationship, and keep your eyes on Him.
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jenptcfan
My cup runneth over
I think that it's probably a good idea to wait until you're older to 'date'. But I also think dating is a part of growing up. It helps you figure out what makes the opposite sex 'tick' teaches you how to relate to the opposite sex, helps you figure out what you're looking for in a marriage relationship in the future...etc.
That doesn't mean that you should randomly get in serious relationships at a young age and recklessly break hearts. Not at all. And you'll want to guard your purity as much as possible. But within the next year or two, if you want to take someone on a date (especially if you go on group dates with a bunch of friends), I don't see where that's necessarily a bad thing. Just set high standards for your purity before you ever date, and don't waver from those standards.
That's my two cents anyway.
That doesn't mean that you should randomly get in serious relationships at a young age and recklessly break hearts. Not at all. And you'll want to guard your purity as much as possible. But within the next year or two, if you want to take someone on a date (especially if you go on group dates with a bunch of friends), I don't see where that's necessarily a bad thing. Just set high standards for your purity before you ever date, and don't waver from those standards.
That's my two cents anyway.
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What do your parents say about it? If your parents know him and his parents, I see nothing wrong with going out together for ice cream once in awhile (no kissing/smooching etc). Some people might consider that a date, and some people might consider that just being friends. But I so stress that it's important for your parents to know him and his parents well.
Choose places that are safe and easy to get to, and where there will be no temptation to do anything wrong. And check with your parents! Oh yeah, it's probably better to do most things with groups of friends.
Final note: once I have a daughter I might change my opinion on this! I might keep her locked away in the house until she's 25. And even then I may want to interrogate every male that even lays eyes on her!
Enslow
Choose places that are safe and easy to get to, and where there will be no temptation to do anything wrong. And check with your parents! Oh yeah, it's probably better to do most things with groups of friends.
Final note: once I have a daughter I might change my opinion on this! I might keep her locked away in the house until she's 25. And even then I may want to interrogate every male that even lays eyes on her!
Enslow
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Jesusfreekwanabe
I am little Oh Lord
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there are so many reason not to date OR court at your age it is mind bogling .
tempations , such as kissing ( not saying kissing is wrong ) but so young it could eazly draw your attion away from gowing up. i can see that both of u guys realy care about each other , but u are still varry young .
God knows that u have a emptiness for a man . he knows , he made u it is supposed to be there . but u have to pratice self controle and lots of it !
BFs and GFs realy drain time and effort ( muney to lol) u will be so involved with them and working it out u will negelect your self . not inteniolly ( basickl what i said earyler)
i my self am 19 nearlty 20 ans i have not so much as kissed a gurl , not once . and im dang proud
keep your self clean , it is worth it ! , it shows God your mesuar of self controle and obeadeance is wating on him for the man he is got for you , ther is no sence in spending time with some one ( dateing corting ) that God has not planed for u . and u will imppress ppl too
tempations , such as kissing ( not saying kissing is wrong ) but so young it could eazly draw your attion away from gowing up. i can see that both of u guys realy care about each other , but u are still varry young .
God knows that u have a emptiness for a man . he knows , he made u it is supposed to be there . but u have to pratice self controle and lots of it !
BFs and GFs realy drain time and effort ( muney to lol) u will be so involved with them and working it out u will negelect your self . not inteniolly ( basickl what i said earyler)
i my self am 19 nearlty 20 ans i have not so much as kissed a gurl , not once . and im dang proud
keep your self clean , it is worth it ! , it shows God your mesuar of self controle and obeadeance is wating on him for the man he is got for you , ther is no sence in spending time with some one ( dateing corting ) that God has not planed for u . and u will imppress ppl too
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LadyBird
Dance Me to the End of Love
Wait to date, I'm telling you. The longer you are together, the harder it gets to stay pure...well at least for the people I have talked to. Why would you want to date for 6 years until you are ready to get married. Why not be friends and see where that leads. You don't NEED to date...especially when you are young...usually it's a waste of time because you end up breaking up. I know not in all cases, but most teenage romances don't last.
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develop your friendship... grow in God not in your feelings... wait for the time that you are ready to have a relationship... because both you are so young and all you can do is to express your feelings. love is more than that... it requires commitment, responsibility, respect, planning for marriage someday...
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As long as your relationship is pure, I see no problems in being special friends. Enslow's advice about going places with minimal temptations is good, as is his suggestion to keep your parents advised. I wouldn't make any commitments to each other, it is too soon for that. And I would make certain that you keep your interest in your friends, sports, school and hobbies. Making someone the center of your life is very dangerous at your age. But having a unique respect and affection (in the emotional, not physical sense!) for a member of the opposite sex is not bad, in and of itself. It seems like I know a lot of young people with no experience with the opposite sex, except as part of a goup.
If it gets to be a lot of work, if you start hearing from your friends "we never see you anymore, all you care about it X," if your parents seem worried, then those are signs that you probably are getting into deep. But if it remains a light and chaste attachment, it may add good things to your life.
If it gets to be a lot of work, if you start hearing from your friends "we never see you anymore, all you care about it X," if your parents seem worried, then those are signs that you probably are getting into deep. But if it remains a light and chaste attachment, it may add good things to your life.
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