my boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months. he's 31 and i'm 28. things have happened very fast with us and although we both really believe that this is something that may last forever we've been fighting a lot in the last while. about 2 weeks after we got together we slept together and continued to do so until about a week ago. he decided that because of the moral implications of sleeping together that we shouldn't do it anymore. it was hard for me to accept but through a lot of soul searching and research on various christian sites and the bible i agree that it is probably the right way to do things especially if we are working on a long term future together. plus i need to respect his need and desire to do so. so now we're both on the same page with this and everything that has happened in the last few days has pointed towards the same thing...its wrong! so i guess my questions is where do we draw the line? i mean we're two adults that obviously have very intense feelings for each other. we've even told each other that we love each other. how far is ok? i mean is kissing/snogging wrong too or is that acceptable? what about massage? how do we work towards reaching or maintaining a higher level of intimacy without sex? i'm sure there are many ways but i'm just not sure how to go about it? its hard to go from the initimacy of making love to having to find other ways...i don't want to sound shallow here cos i'm really not but i don't want us to lose the passion that we had in our relationship and i want to keep him interested...any advice guys? i really do love this guy and want to do things right so that we have a better chance of a wonderful future together....
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Advice anyone??
- Thread starter kezvdw
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ShinigamiMommy
Viva Humans! We are God. God is us.
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Morally, he's looking out for you and himself. Have a talk about it with him. Find some middle ground where you as a couple feel it's right. A relationship is not only sexual, though a part of it is. Simply enjoying the other's company and being the best, loving significant other is enough to keep any good man in a relationship. Find joy and excitement in other things. Find something you two can do together to keep yourselves close.
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BeautifulDestiny09
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Those lines, boundaries are up to you and your boyfriend...what is acceptable for one couple might be too tempting for another...I know some couples who don't even kiss until wedding night because it leads to other things! At the same time, I know couples who more than kiss but less than sex...you two need to determine what will get u in trouble and try to avoid it at all costs, even if that means not being alone with each other much...
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Weasel7711
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Draw the line before the BIG lines get crossed. That is, don't do things that will lead you into temptation. Put up fences in front of your fences. That's what I say.
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no matter what you decide to do, it's going to be hard since you already had sex - just keep that in mind. now, just focus on getting yourself right with God. once you do that, He will take care of your desires and help you hold off until the time is right again. but as far as "how far is too far?" being a part of the issue, i'd stop at making out. because once you get past that point, it's hard to stop. 
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I agree with many of the people that replied. I would say your biggest deterent for going any further is communication. Talk about expectations for the future, create boundries, share your feelings.
BE HONEST AND OPEN, as much as you feel comfortable of course.
Like what was said before is different things (kissing, hugging, whatever) mean different things to different couples. A back rub from him may mean just that to you, but if you give one to him it might really "push his buttons."
The real way to build intimacy in a relationship is communication. But definately draw boundries early on, to prevent damage to a great relationship! Know what pushes each other's buttons! Then when all is preserved, you have a lot (on the physical side, among everything else) to look forward to when you get married!
God Bless!
BE HONEST AND OPEN, as much as you feel comfortable of course.
Like what was said before is different things (kissing, hugging, whatever) mean different things to different couples. A back rub from him may mean just that to you, but if you give one to him it might really "push his buttons."
The real way to build intimacy in a relationship is communication. But definately draw boundries early on, to prevent damage to a great relationship! Know what pushes each other's buttons! Then when all is preserved, you have a lot (on the physical side, among everything else) to look forward to when you get married!
God Bless!
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I
ImperialPhantom
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If you want to avoid sex, don't do anything that will intentionally increase temptation to break those boundaries and have sex. It really is a simple answer, though it's one that people don't wanna do.
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