Adopting while single

[OnceDust]

Parents,

I"m conisdering adopting some kids in the next few years, perhaps longer. It has always been on my heart to father children, and since working with orphans I have a real heart for the outcast. The director of the ministry I travel to Russia to work with the orphans recently adopted 2 children of his own. He is engaged but single. He also adopted these children before he got engaged but probably knew he would soon marry.

I question what is the moral delimma of adopting a child as a single parent. The ever trite one is growing up with only a mother OR a father, not both. I know that. I also know that a child without a parent at all is much more likely to end up in a life-threatening scenario. I've also seen kids who have found thier faith actually NOT wanting to be adopted because they have a BIG family of Christains and a better father in heaven than they could ever have on Earth. They want to share thier faith with others and so have a burdon God has given them and don't want to leave that calling.

I"ve also got to believe that if a child for some reason only has one parent, the family of God picks up where the relationship is lost. I know a young man who was adopted by a couple a year ago. Recently, his Dad died and now just his mom is raising him. He's had a lot of male friends at church, through the youth group, and of corse his heavenly father to make up for what he'd lost. God just works that way.

I"m still tackling this issue somewhat. I've seen kids grow up in single parent homes, myself included. Not to say it was perfect, but I turned out alright and others I know have too. What say you?

Blessings.

 

[Tangnefedd]

I wonder if you are considering taking on an older child? Many older children have had traumatic early childhood experiences adn need to relate to just one person, this is where a single parent can work wonders because they can concentrate all their emotional resources on the child. Obviously this is not easy and you would have to be geared up for a rollercoaster ride, especially as the child may well not wish to have anything to do with the faith you hold dear.

 

[Etharia]

I have thought a lot about single parent adoption (don't give me that look, don't all 10 year old dream of adopting? jk) and I still don't know how I feel about it. I feel that most children are better off in a two-parent home, however, that lowers the number of children that can be adopted from sometimes deplorable conditions. I also feel that it's better to be in a single parent home to a loving christian through adoption that in a single parent home due to death or divorce. In death and divorce children tend to feel abandoned and in divorce feel they weren't important enough for their other parent to spend time with them or live with them. (This is just in general, not in all cases)
With adoption, it is completely out of love and I've talked to many adoptees who feel special because their parents chose to adopt them.
Although I do feel that two-parent homes are best, in a lot of cases, one-parent adoptions are very succesful and happy and I'm not opposed to it.
(Forgive my rambling)

 

[BeanMak]

A dear single friend has adopted 2 boys from China. He is a blessing to those boys, and the boys are a blessing to him. He was 40 when he adopted the first one and 44 when the second one came. What he was not prepared for was the overwhelming amount of work that it takes to parent. He is learning every day and it is certainly a joy to see the love that the 3 have for each other!

 

[OnceDust]

I had not even thought about the nuances of being a single parent and one-one mentorship of an older child. Yes, that would be who I plan to adopt if and when I do. I actually have worked with kids in a variety of ways, and I know the increadible tasks of being a parent. I also know not being mairried or until I do, I can give the child a good amount of myself to him or her, as I'm not in a commited relationship. Were I to, the responsibility would, of corse be shared with my wife. There's definate good and questionable things in this issue. I do agree, that single-parent homes increaces the number of adoptions from those that would only take or accept families who are mairried. Thanks for the comments so far y'all.

Blessings