Adolescent Sexuality

[PassionFruit]

I was wondering about other reasons as to why in the United States, why comprehensive sex education isn't pushed. And why teens having sex is such a controversial topic.

Is it because Americans are more afraid of teenage sexuality? Compared to say...the Dutch? There was a study done to compare Americans attitudes towards sex and the attitudes the Dutch have towards sex. Can't say that I was surprised by the results of the study.

For example a question was proposed:
"Would you permit X to spend the night with a boyfriend or girlfriend in his or her room?"
And following questions such why or why not, if not now, when?

The study showed that nine out of ten American parents would not permit this, but Dutch parents would permit this, under the right circumstances.

My questions:
Are Americans afraid of adolescent sexuality?
If so, does this have to do with the not teaching comprehensive education? (Because we know the main argument against this is "it gives teens the green light to engage in sexual activity.")
And do Americans need to change their attitudes towards sex?

http://www.ibisreproductivehealth.o...ust_we_fear_adolescent_sexuality_Medscape.pdf

 

[Corey]

My questions:
Are Americans afraid of adolescent sexuality? (1)
If so, does this have to do with the not teaching comprehensive education? (Because we know the main argument against this is "it gives teens the green light to engage in sexual activity.") (2)
And do Americans need to change their attitudes towards sex? (3)

http://www.ibisreproductivehealth.org/pub/downloads/Schalet_A_Must_we_fear_adolescent_sexuality_Medscape.pdfhttp://www.ibisreproductivehealth.o...ust_we_fear_adolescent_sexuality_Medscape.pdf

1)Wrong question...certain groups of Americans are afraid of any sexuality...

2)yes...yes it does.

3)yes...yes some of them do.

 

[sidhe]

My questions:
Are Americans afraid of adolescent sexuality?
If so, does this have to do with the not teaching comprehensive education? (Because we know the main argument against this is "it gives teens the green light to engage in sexual activity.")
And do Americans need to change their attitudes towards sex?

http://www.ibisreproductivehealth.o...ust_we_fear_adolescent_sexuality_Medscape.pdf

I'm an odd American to answer, but I'll give my perception...

1) Yes, Americans are scared of adolescent sexuality. I have no idea why.

2) I'm not sure I understand the question, as far as the cause-effect relationship you're looking for. I'd say the fear of adolescent sexuality causes fear of comprehensive sex education.

3) Yes, definitely.

 

[cantata]

Fascinating thread, as always, Ms Fruit

My questions:
Are Americans afraid of adolescent sexuality?
If so, does this have to do with the not teaching comprehensive education? (Because we know the main argument against this is "it gives teens the green light to engage in sexual activity.")
And do Americans need to change their attitudes towards sex?

Unfortunately, not being an American, I can't be quite as helpful as some of the other posters will be. However, I would like to answer your questions with regard to my own country and culture.

Are British people afraid of adolescent sexuality?
If so, does this have to do with the not teaching comprehensive education?

Yes, British people are afraid of teen sexuality, and I think that the problem with education is more caused by that fear than the other way around.

I get the impression that attitudes are relaxing faster over here than they are in the States, and sex education is now on most state schools' curricula to the best of my knowledge. However, I went to a private school, and we didn't receive any sex education until Year 10 (age 14/15). Of course, by this point, a lot of the girls were already having sex, and all the rest knew exactly what to do with a condom even if they'd never had occasion to do it, so it was totally pointless. What's more, some parents even withdrew their girls from the classes. I also noticed that while there was a brief discussion about what you could catch from performing oral sex on a man, there was absolutely nothing about the ways of protecting yourself when going down on a girl - a shocking omission.

Do British people need to change their attitudes towards sex?

Yes, we do. Personally I find the problem of sex education in this country quite appalling, given the dreadful rate of teenage pregnancy in our country. The fact is that teens have sex, whether people like it or not. Personally I'm in favour of lowering the age of consent to 14, with restrictions to prevent adult exploitation of minors. I believe this would make it easier for people to ask for contraception advice, to ask for help in the case of pregnancy, and to discuss matters such as sexually transmitted infections and general sexual health.

I don't think that it should be covered up that young people are sexual. We are so terrified of accusations of paedophilia that some parents feel uncomfortable even discussing sexual matters with their kids. If sex were not demonized as it is now, perhaps it would lose some of its 'naughtiness' appeal; and perhaps if the focus were on providing the means to practise safe sex if sex is to be had at all, rather than moralising about it, we would not have such a high incidence of teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection as we do currently.

 

[gengwall]

I'll try and be brief

Are Americans afraid of adolescent sexuality?

I don't think "afraid" is the right word. Americans, and specifically, American parents, are well aware of their responsibility to guide young people who do not have the maturity to make wise decisions. Most American parents, regardless of their religious stance or political affiliation, do not believe that teenagers are mature enough to know all the implications and ramifications of a sexual relationship.

I want to make a note regarding the response I expect some will give. This notion that a majority of conservative Christians are afraid of sexuality of any kind is completely false and without basis. Conservative Christians love sex. We are instructed within our marriages to have it frequently and consistently and we do our darndest to adhere to that instruction. But, we are quite against ANY sex outside of marriage. That doesn't constitute "being afraid of sexuality", it simply reflects our moral position on when sexual expression is appropriate.

If so, does this have to do with the not teaching comprehensive education? (Because we know the main argument against this is "it gives teens the green light to engage in sexual activity.")

That would be true of the Christian right (we have a further reason to not want teens to have sex - because it's sinful), but there is not an overwhelming majority against comprehensive sex ed. I, personally, have no problem with it as long as it includes the very good psychological, social, and biological reasons to wait to have sex.

And do Americans need to change their attitudes towards sex?

Well, some do on both ends of the permissiveness spectrum. I think the better question is "what should comprehensive sex ed look like". There are many very good reasons not to have sex during adolescence that have nothing to do with religion. First and foremost is the scientifically demonstrated fact that the last thing to develope in teens is critical decision making skills. Teens really are not mature enough or prepared emotionally to deal with sexual relationships.

 

[Paulos23]

1) Yes, though there are some good reasons for it given the current culture.
2) I wish it didn't, but it does.
3) Yes, and some are slowly.

 

[PassionFruit]

That would be true of the Christian right (we have a further reason to not want teens to have sex - because it's sinful), but there is not an overwhelming majority against comprehensive sex ed. I, personally, have no problem with it as long as it includes the very good psychological, social, and biological reasons to wait to have sex.

I think this is what I'm getting at. Sex education in America seems to focus more on tellings teens to wait to have sex, or reasons not have sex. Now why is that?

You pointed out that there are emotional ramifications to sexual relationships, another thing I noticed no one really indicates what those ramifications are. So what are those ramifications?

 

[gengwall]

I think this is what I'm getting at. Sex education in America seems to focus more on tellings teens to wait to have sex, or reasons not have sex. Now why is that?

You pointed out that there are emotional ramifications to sexual relationships, another thing I noticed no one really indicates what those ramifications are. So what are those ramifications?

Although I am sure there are a few people who engage in completely frivilous, casual sexual relationships, but most people understand that there is a strong emotional, side to sex and that sex is a primary building block of romantic relationships. Although the bible supports this, there is no need to invoke the bible to prove it. Many studies have been done about the psychological and biological effects of sex. Simply put, sex is about a lot more than the physical act.

It takes maturity to not only handle these impacts but to weigh all the factors involved in even committing to a sexual relationship. Teens simply have not developed the critical decision making skills necessary to deal with all of this. From an emotional and psychological standpoint, they are just not ready. Add to that the social manipulations involved in teen romantic relationships and you have a recipe for disaster.

Now, I suppose that maybe the Dutch and other more "liberal" cultures don't acknowledge the relational aspects of sex which go beyond the physical. Maybe to them, it is just some other activity people do like going to the mall. So be it. I think that is to their detriment. In America, religious or not, sex is viewed as the glue that holds a relationship together. I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing or something that needs changing.

 

[selfinflikted]

I think that most parents in the U.S. are reluctant to talk to young children about sex because they think that if they don't mention it, then the children will stay oblivious to it. This mode of thought, however, is completely wrong and counter-productive. Since children are learning about sex from other sources at young ages, what they need is parental guidance to shape their understanding and judgement of the subject - what they don't need is silence.

 

[gengwall]

I think that most parents in the U.S. are reluctant to talk to young children about sex because they think that if they don't mention it, then the children will stay oblivious to it. This mode of thought, however, is completely wrong and counter-productive. Since children are learning about sex from other sources at young ages, what they need is parental guidance to shape their understanding and judgement of the subject - what they don't need is silence.

I agree with this completely. I once had someone accuse me of keeping my children ignorant. His basis for such an accusation was only the fact I was a conservative Christian. Well, my girls are 20 and 22 and still virgins and it isn't because we stuck our head in the sand and just hoped that sex wouldn't find them. We were very open and candid with them beginning early on and it gave them the strength and information necessary to resist sexual advances on their own terms, not just because "mom and dad said so". On the other hand, I have seen scores of kids of fellow conservative Christians have all kinds of problems with sex and it is almost always a case of "don't ask, don't tell" on their parent's part.

 

[CSmrw]

I was wondering about other reasons as to why in the United States, why comprehensive sex education isn't pushed. And why teens having sex is such a controversial topic.

My thought is that we here in the states consider children pets. And we will choose when and how to breed them, thank you very much.

 

[PassionFruit]

Although I am sure there are a few people who engage in completely frivilous, casual sexual relationships, but most people understand that there is a strong emotional, side to sex and that sex is a primary building block of romantic relationships. Although the bible supports this, there is no need to invoke the bible to prove it. Many studies have been done about the psychological and biological effects of sex. Simply put, sex is about a lot more than the physical act.

It takes maturity to not only handle these impacts but to weigh all the factors involved in even committing to a sexual relationship. Teens simply have not developed the critical decision making skills necessary to deal with all of this. From an emotional and psychological standpoint, they are just not ready. Add to that the social manipulations involved in teen romantic relationships and you have a recipe for disaster.

Now, I suppose that maybe the Dutch and other more "liberal" cultures don't acknowledge the relational aspects of sex which go beyond the physical. Maybe to them, it is just some other activity people do like going to the mall. So be it. I think that is to their detriment. In America, religious or not, sex is viewed as the glue that holds a relationship together. I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing or something that needs changing.

Well, actually the Dutch doesn't view sex as merely a sexual act. I think their attitude towards is more normalized verses here in the US where teenagers having sex is extremely dramatized.

This also has a lot to do with the fact that I learned that Dutch attitudes of teens falling in love, they believe it's quite possible and don't call it "puppy love." Whereas in the US, it seems that idea of teens being in love is scoffed at. So there's an issue to think about. I often here people say "well teens aren't mature enough to make decisions about their sexual and reproductive health." Again, that goes back to the attitudes, where in Dutch society, they seem to give teens more credit. And I also think that may contribute to the low STD, pregnancy, and abortion rates.

 

[gengwall]

Well, actually the Dutch doesn't view sex as merely a sexual act. I think their attitude towards is more normalized verses here in the US where teenagers having sex is extremely dramatized.

This also has a lot to do with the fact that I learned that Dutch attitudes of teens falling in love, they believe it's quite possible and don't call it "puppy love." Whereas in the US, it seems that idea of teens being in love is scoffed at. So there's an issue to think about. I often here people say "well teens aren't mature enough to make decisions about their sexual and reproductive health." Again, that goes back to the attitudes, where in Dutch society, they seem to give teens more credit. And I also think that may contribute to the low STD, pregnancy, and abortion rates.

It is more than attitudes. Developmental studies have highlighted the lack of critical decision making skills in teens. I'll try to dig up some references for you.

Having said that, it appears to me that Dutch parents are actually very involved in guiding their kids and helping to reduce the "drama" of teen relationships. That is a good thing. Never the less, think about most teenagers you know. Are they "dramatic" because American attitudes have made them so or are they so because they don't cope well with that level of relationship? I would say it's the latter.

I'm fairly familar with this research that you are referring to. Did it also not discover that Dutch kids on average actually wait longer to have a sexual relationship and have far fewer partners? It seems I remember something about that as well. I'm not saying the Dutch have everything wrong. There is much to applaud there. But Dutch views on marriage and the role of sex in relationship still seem much more casual than ours. I kind of like our views personally, and it has nothing to do with "fear of sexuality".

 

[gengwall]

Here's just one quick link (top of the seach list) which address critical decision making in teens including citations to the research. It gives a number of reasons why teens are not prepared, or not equiped, to make rational decisions when it comes to healthy or risky behaviors.

http://cals-cf.calsnet.arizona.edu/fcs/content.cfm?content=decision_making

 

[cantata]

It takes maturity to not only handle these impacts but to weigh all the factors involved in even committing to a sexual relationship. Teens simply have not developed the critical decision making skills necessary to deal with all of this. From an emotional and psychological standpoint, they are just not ready. Add to that the social manipulations involved in teen romantic relationships and you have a recipe for disaster.

I agree with you that sex has a powerful emotional impact on many people. However, I am not sure that many adults are better prepared for it than teenagers are until they have engaged in sexual relationships themselves. Sex is often complicated, however old or mature you are. I would be interested to know the results of any studies conducted into the psychological effects of losing one's virginity at different ages.

I have some friends who remained virgins throughout their teen years for moral reasons, and who are more troubled and confused about sex now than are some of my friends who began having sex at fourteen. The precise circumstances of sexual relations make all the difference. An intimate, loving experience at sixteen could result in a far more well-adjusted attitude towards sex and relationships than a disappointing fumble at 25.

Also, I wonder how easy it would be for a school to teach young people about the decision-making aspect of sex. To say "You are not yet mature enough to make decisions about this" would be perceived as patronising, and indeed for some more mature teens, it would be patently false. I think a better focus would be encouragement to exercise the right to say no and to choose one's sexual relationships wisely; to discuss birth control and sexual health with one's partners; and to consider the emotional toll that misjudged sexual relationships can take on people of all ages. I agree that a candid approach is preferable to handling the subject with kid gloves. Young people will learn about sex from their peers, from magazines, from television - and it is best that any misinformation is corrected, by parents or schools, before it can cause harm.

 

[gengwall]

I agree with you that sex has a powerful emotional impact on many people. However, I am not sure that many adults are better prepared for it than teenagers are until they have engaged in sexual relationships themselves. Sex is often complicated, however old or mature you are. I would be interested to know the results of any studies conducted into the psychological effects of losing one's virginity at different ages.

I have some friends who remained virgins throughout their teen years for moral reasons, and who are more troubled and confused about sex now than are some of my friends who began having sex at fourteen. The precise circumstances of sexual relations make all the difference. An intimate, loving experience at sixteen could result in a far more well-adjusted attitude towards sex and relationships than a disappointing fumble at 25.

Also, I wonder how easy it would be for a school to teach young people about the decision-making aspect of sex. To say "You are not yet mature enough to make decisions about this" would be perceived as patronising, and indeed for some more mature teens, it would be patently false. I think a better focus would be encouragement to exercise the right to say no and to choose one's sexual relationships wisely; to discuss birth control and sexual health with one's partners; and to consider the emotional toll that misjudged sexual relationships can take on people of all ages. I agree that a candid approach is preferable to handling the subject with kid gloves. Young people will learn about sex from their peers, from magazines, from television - and it is best that any misinformation is corrected, by parents or schools, before it can cause harm.

Although I agree generically with what you are saying, my observations tell a different story. At least here in America, teens are SO imature when it comes to romantic relationships that there is virtually nothing of value that they bring out of them into adulthood. I know of very few teens who brought any applicable skills out of teen dating into adult dating. The two realms are just so totally different. On the other hand, and maybe this is why you see some of the behaviors in adults that you have described, I know a lot of adults who approach adult dating as if they were still in high school.

 

[PassionFruit]

It is more than attitudes. Developmental studies have highlighted the lack of critical decision making skills in teens. I'll try to dig up some references for you.

Having said that, it appears to me that Dutch parents are actually very involved in guiding their kids and helping to reduce the "drama" of teen relationships. That is a good thing. Never the less, think about most teenagers you know. Are they "dramatic" because American attitudes have made them so or are they so because they don't cope well with that level of relationship? I would say it's the latter.

I'm fairly familar with this research that you are referring to. Did it also not discover that Dutch kids on average actually wait longer to have a sexual relationship and have far fewer partners? It seems I remember something about that as well. I'm not saying the Dutch have everything wrong. There is much to applaud there. But Dutch views on marriage and the role of sex in relationship still seem much more casual than ours. I kind of like our views personally, and it has nothing to do with "fear of sexuality".

Yeah, you're right Dutch teens on average wait longer to have sex, than American teens. I believe part the reason for this is because they are more open about sex. Also, I think the Dutch begin teaching sex education to teens at early ages.

Then, I can conclude that in a sense the Dutch doesn't place value on sex like it's a sacred act. But still remain important to a point.

What needs to change with many Americans is being able to openly discuss sex. But you know, I think the reason why a lot of American teens are immature when it comes to sex, is that overtime they developed unhealthy attitudes towards it. I'm going to use the Janet Jackson incident as an example (again). Many of us know how people reacted when her boob poped out. Now, if something like this would have happened in Europe, it wouldn't have been the same reaction. Obviously, they show full frontal nudity on network television.

But in the good ol' US I'm willing to bet that many parents would hurry and shied their children from full frontal nudity. Now what kind of message does this send?

 

[gengwall]

Yeah, you're right Dutch teens on average wait longer to have sex, than American teens. I believe part the reason for this is because they are more open about sex. Also, I think the Dutch begin teaching sex education to teens at early ages.

Then, I can conclude that in a sense the Dutch doesn't place value on sex like it's a sacred act. But still remain important to a point.

What needs to change with many Americans is being able to openly discuss sex.

I think that last statement is very true, and maybe corroborates the idea that we are "afraid" of sex. In many ways, it is a sad statement that we even have to discuss what kind of sex ed should be taught in schools. That is why, at least in my family, we were determined to take it out of the schools hands.

The real error in "abstinence only" education isn't that abstinence is a dishonorable or unattainable goal. The error is that supporters of abstinence only education don't pick up the slack. Children need comprehensive sex education from SOMEWHERE and if the schools are prevented from teaching it and parents are reluctant to teach it then the only resource left for teens is their peers. Really, I think that is the key to the Dutch success. But realize what that means is that there is a ton of adult guidance involved in these teens lives and decisions. They are not at all left to their own devices or their own critical decision making skills. It is really kind of a paradox - the Dutch are both more casual and more serious about sex than Americans.

Got to go for now. I'll be interested to see where this goes by tomorrow.

 

[Verv]

I was wondering about other reasons as to why in the United States, why comprehensive sex education isn't pushed. And why teens having sex is such a controversial topic.

Is it because Americans are more afraid of teenage sexuality? Compared to say...the Dutch? There was a study done to compare Americans attitudes towards sex and the attitudes the Dutch have towards sex. Can't say that I was surprised by the results of the study.

For example a question was proposed:
"Would you permit X to spend the night with a boyfriend or girlfriend in his or her room?"
And following questions such why or why not, if not now, when?

The study showed that nine out of ten American parents would not permit this, but Dutch parents would permit this, under the right circumstances.

My questions:
Are Americans afraid of adolescent sexuality?
If so, does this have to do with the not teaching comprehensive education? (Because we know the main argument against this is "it gives teens the green light to engage in sexual activity.")
And do Americans need to change their attitudes towards sex?

http://www.ibisreproductivehealth.o...ust_we_fear_adolescent_sexuality_Medscape.pdf

Americans do not need to change their views.

They fall right in line with the overwhelming majority of the world.

Chinese and Indians, who comprise roughly 1/3 of the world, are in agreement with the Americans and pull far stricter lines when teaching sexuality in class.

Did you know that by having sex there is a chance of pregnancy or disease?

Did you know that most teenage people have aspirations which will not be able to be fulfilled if they have a kid?

There is also an idea called, maturity.

People who are too immature to deal with people on a very real level and divorce personal feelings from rational thought shouldn't have sex because they will only arouse confused feelings within themselves and not be able to have a good relationship with the person they have sex with, and it could taint their future views of sex and sexuality.

I think that the Americans, the Chinese, the Indians, the Koreans, the Muslims, the Hindus, the Christians, the Jews, the Sikhs and the Buddhists have good views on adolescent sexuality:

It isn't that great, guys.

 

[WatersMoon110]

Never the less, think about most teenagers you know. Are they "dramatic" because American attitudes have made them so or are they so because they don't cope well with that level of relationship? I would say it's the latter.

My father is 57. He can't cope with that level of a relationship. My best friend and his wife have been together since their mid-teens. Everyone is different, and while there are some teens who can handle a more adult relationship, I agree that many can't.

I do know over-dramatic people (and not just teenagers), who dive into a sexual relationship and break up in a matter of weeks. I also know older people who have been together since their teens. It really depends on the person. Everyone matures (both mentally and physically) at different rates.