I am currently struggling with an addiction to pornography and masturbation. I need an accountability partner to keep me honest, to help me in my struggle.
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Accountability Partner needed
- Thread starter AdamWeeden
- Start date
you need someone you know, you love and you trust.
im sure you already know, but most people arent able to do what an accountability partner needs to do for you. so be careful.
the person needs to be faithful to confess his faults and shortcomings, he needs to be faithful to speak into your life even if he thinks it may not be what you want to hear. he needs to be faithful for the longrun.
be careful who you ask.
make sure you know them very well, they know you, you love each other, and your commited to one another. becuase believe me, i have an accountability partner, and it really takes alot of commitment.
we have to pray for each other once a day.
we have to call each other hopefully once a day.
and we have to confess our short comings.
we share what God has been teaching and doing in us.
and probly the hardest part of all,
we have to overcome bashfulness and shyness and tell each other when we are wrong.
it isnt easy, its like your in a war in a fox whole with this person, pick someone you know has your back, and make sure your up for the same commitment. just be careful, just becuase you like someone and their your friend isnt enough, this person has to be commitment to help you when you need help, and wound you when you need corrected.
and alot people arent at that place. and realise that if you do this, you have to rise to that level too and be what that person needs you to be.
one more thing, ive learned that accountability partners really dont change you if you dont want to change, im sure you do, but its easy to get used to confessing things especially when your partner is too kind to you to correct you strongly. it can get to where you never change, because you dont mind confessing it all, and that isnt the reason, it has to bring change.
im sure you already know, but most people arent able to do what an accountability partner needs to do for you. so be careful.
the person needs to be faithful to confess his faults and shortcomings, he needs to be faithful to speak into your life even if he thinks it may not be what you want to hear. he needs to be faithful for the longrun.
be careful who you ask.
make sure you know them very well, they know you, you love each other, and your commited to one another. becuase believe me, i have an accountability partner, and it really takes alot of commitment.
we have to pray for each other once a day.
we have to call each other hopefully once a day.
and we have to confess our short comings.
we share what God has been teaching and doing in us.
and probly the hardest part of all,
we have to overcome bashfulness and shyness and tell each other when we are wrong.
it isnt easy, its like your in a war in a fox whole with this person, pick someone you know has your back, and make sure your up for the same commitment. just be careful, just becuase you like someone and their your friend isnt enough, this person has to be commitment to help you when you need help, and wound you when you need corrected.
and alot people arent at that place. and realise that if you do this, you have to rise to that level too and be what that person needs you to be.
one more thing, ive learned that accountability partners really dont change you if you dont want to change, im sure you do, but its easy to get used to confessing things especially when your partner is too kind to you to correct you strongly. it can get to where you never change, because you dont mind confessing it all, and that isnt the reason, it has to bring change.
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Rafael
Only time enough for love
Adam, I'm too old to be a partner, but from experience, I can tell you that pornography is a terrible trap to fall into, that will skew your whole sense of who women are and who you are. It leads to unwholesome appetites that are not normal, and can ruin the beauty that can be for a man and women in marriage.
Don't get down on yourself over the flesh. It is normal to fight it and its urges, as the battle between the flesh and the spirit God has given you is one that lasts for the rest of our life. I believe God will provide you an escape from your sin, as promised, and will restore what the devouer would take from your life - giving back beauty for ashes.
Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
Malachi 3:11 And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLB) But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.
Galatians 5:17 (LIV) For we naturally love to do evil things that the Holy Spirit tells us not to do; and the good things we want to do when the Holy Spirit has His way with us are just the opposite of our natural desires. These two forces within us are constantly fighting each other to win control over us, and our wishes are never free from their pressures.
Don't get down on yourself over the flesh. It is normal to fight it and its urges, as the battle between the flesh and the spirit God has given you is one that lasts for the rest of our life. I believe God will provide you an escape from your sin, as promised, and will restore what the devouer would take from your life - giving back beauty for ashes.
Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
Malachi 3:11 And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLB) But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.
Galatians 5:17 (LIV) For we naturally love to do evil things that the Holy Spirit tells us not to do; and the good things we want to do when the Holy Spirit has His way with us are just the opposite of our natural desires. These two forces within us are constantly fighting each other to win control over us, and our wishes are never free from their pressures.
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desi said:
Trust me I have, and will continue to do so.
I feel like an alcoholic in the sense that I can go weeks without it, thinking I have it beat, and the next thing I know I do things and look at things that I don't wish to normally. I am currently trying to work through some of the programs at porn-free.org and stay diligent in my prayers and Bible studies in the hope that keeping my mind on God will keep my mind off the evil desires of my flesh.
Any prayers from those here are appreciated, and any advice will not be ignored.
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CoffeeSwirls
snaps back wash after wash...
I wrote about this very struggle on my website. This is a difficult thing to fight, all the more so because it is a sin of shame. For an accountability resource online, have you heard of a program called Covenant Eyes?
The very fact that you have come forward and asked for help says a book about your heart. It's a terrifying thing to admit, but in my research, I discovered that over half of the pastors questioned admitted to going to a porn site online by their own choice, many of them have struggles with this every day. It is a shameful sin, but not an isolated sin. That's an important thing to remember.
For accountability, I suggest finding somebody at church who will look you in the eye and put their hand on your shoulder rather than somebody who will send you an occasional e-mail and doesn't know you from Adam. That's the nature of accountability.
There's more shame in a church where a desperate man cannot go to a brother for help than there is in a man who needs the help. If the people of your church would look down at you for being tormented with any sin, that's a good indicator that you belong in a more Godly church. Relax, though. I'm confidant you have wonderful guys who would love to discretely help you in this matter, will look you in the eye, and who will lock arms with you as you seek the Lord's victory.
Galatians 6:1
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.
The very fact that you have come forward and asked for help says a book about your heart. It's a terrifying thing to admit, but in my research, I discovered that over half of the pastors questioned admitted to going to a porn site online by their own choice, many of them have struggles with this every day. It is a shameful sin, but not an isolated sin. That's an important thing to remember.
For accountability, I suggest finding somebody at church who will look you in the eye and put their hand on your shoulder rather than somebody who will send you an occasional e-mail and doesn't know you from Adam. That's the nature of accountability.
There's more shame in a church where a desperate man cannot go to a brother for help than there is in a man who needs the help. If the people of your church would look down at you for being tormented with any sin, that's a good indicator that you belong in a more Godly church. Relax, though. I'm confidant you have wonderful guys who would love to discretely help you in this matter, will look you in the eye, and who will lock arms with you as you seek the Lord's victory.
Galatians 6:1
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.
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I do the exact same thing! I'm currently on a dry spell where the desire is completely gone. But who knows, in a week or two BAM! I might start jonesing and click on a naughty site...AdamWeeden said:
I'm sending one up for you brother.AdamWeeden said:
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CoffeeSwirls said:
I have, but I would need someone to partner with to use it it seems.
CoffeeSwirls said:
I agree that someone from my church would be best, but the problem is my church is VERY small (30 members) and all the males are older and retired, so I don't feel like I can relate to any of them on that level.
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