Accidents all the time

[~Lynz~]

my son is 5 yrs old his is in his first yr of school.
he took a long time to potty train but when he finaly got there he was perfect no accidents ever. started when he was 2 and he was over 4 before he had no accidents. but any way he started school in august and since then he has wet him self every single day. when hes at home, at school, childminders, his bed... basically every where. days have gone by where hes been changed 5 times.

i have took him to the doctor and they have said "oh its just the change of starting school" which ok fine if it is that but how does that help me and him.

its only a mtter of time before the other kids at school start picking on him. i cant keep up with changing him 5 times a day,

this is really stressing me out and i have no idea what i can do, i have done everything i can think of, nothing seams to be working,

hes a clever boy and enjoys school. i just dono how much more of this i can handle.

 

[ChildByGrace]

As frustrating as it is, the drs are right and it is starting school that's made him regress. Unfortunatly there is nothing you can do except ride it out. Making a big deal out of it will only make it worse.
If you want to try something that might encourage him then you could buy him something small that he'd really like and tell him he can have it when he has gone a certain number of days without wetting at school etc.

 

[twob4me]

Our daughter is 13 now but when she was in kindergarten and first grade she had some times where she wet herself. It was more so in kindergarten. The thing is, they are in a new environment. Around a lot of kids. They are being scheduled to use the restrooms instead of just going when they want to. Of course if they have to go they ask and are allowed to go but they want them to learn to go at certain times. It takes time for them to learn to hold it.

I would make sure she had extra clothes with her for any accidents she may have. Oh, there were a few times she wet herself on the way home from school riding the bus. I told my daughter that if she had to go ask to go. One thing I did notice is that when she was near a water fountain she would go take a drink. I asked her to cut back on that and it helped.

You would be surprised how many kids go through this. I don't know about your childs school but our daughters elementary school did their best to keep other kids from picking on those who wet themselves. Our daughter never had a problem with that but I'm sure it does happen in some schools.

I would just keep encouraging your son to do his best to get to the restroom if he needs to go. The main thing is to have a change of clothes for him at all times. I think it's more embarrassing to be changed into the clothes they have on hand at the school than it would be to change into ones own clothes. Know what I mean?

 

[~Lynz~]

well the good thing about choltes wise is he has a uniform to wear so it not like its noticed that he has changed.

it really stresses me out. and the doctors have refused to run test cause they are blaming him being at school but last night was parents night and his teacher said that he settles in perfect he is not shy... perhaps alittle to bold at times.

the school has been really good. he has been told time and time again that he doesnt even have to ask to go if he needs to go he should just go, and he sits right at the back of the class so he couldnt get closer to the toilet.


i dono what kind of advice im looking for here. i just know it is majorly stressing
me out

 

[ChildByGrace]

I don't know what it's like in the US but over here they won't look at wetting until they are 7ish.
The doctors know what they are doing-they deal with this all the time.
As he has been potty trained for around a year then it's doubtful that there is anything physically wrong. And as it took him a long time to train in the first place then it is likely for it to take a while for him to adjust to being at school and for the wetting to stop. He may well be doing well at school socially etc but it us still a huge adjustment for him.

 

[Mayzoo]

We did not make a big deal out of accidents, BUT my daughter did have to change herself and clean up any mess that was made (I helped in the cleanup a little ). Not as a punishment for wetting, but in our house the rules have been since she was maybe five, if you spill you clean it up. I do not get angry, I just said you need to go get a towel and clean up please. The idea is that I did not want watching mommy clean up all the time to become a game to her, and it is just is a practical life lesson....you make a mess--you clean it up (within age appropriate bounds of course).

 

[UpTheWaterfall]

My daughter went through the same thing. I asked her why she didn't ask the teacher if she could go to the bathroom and she said she was scared she would get in trouble so I had the teacher talk to her and she didn't have anymore accidents. Maybe you should have the teacher talk to him it might help him along.

 

[CelticRose]

Or it could be a matter of control ~ subconsciously. Everything in his life is suddenly really scheduled ~ except in this one area he gets to have control. I know it's weird but I had one like this & it took ages because he was too little to allow the sort of control he needed to have to feel ok. Some people, some kids, are just like that.

 

[tiredwalker]

Sounds like and issue of stress and control. If you don't stress about it and put it back into his hands (i.e. make put him in charge of cleaning himself and taking extra uniforms to school), he'll eventually stop. What would be the point of wetting yourself if no one gives you attention? It's not meant to be cruel, but to make this a non issue. Give him lots of hugs and kisses and don't ask him if he needs to go potty anymore. Sit him down once and explain it to him: I know that you've been having a problem with having accidents, but you are a big boy now and you are big enough to take care of this on your own. Here is a bag with extra uniforms and underwear. If you have an accident, you must clean yourself/sheets/school clothes etc, and put it in the other bag. I won't remind you to go potty anymore because you know when you have to go.

That's it.