- Nov 11, 2003
- 1,111
- 86
- 47
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
Hey there. My name is Theresa but people call me Terri for short. 
I am 26 yrs old and studying for full time youth ministy. I love God with all my heart. I became a christian my sophomore year in highschool but rededicated my life to God almost five years ago.
My parents were divorced when i was six years old. I used to think that it was all my fault that they did because i had this dream that i had come home one day from school with a sad smiley note and dad was at the table doin bills. I showed dad and the next thing i know him and more are fighting and dishes are flying everywhere and then the dream switched to where my dad was outside with a suitcase... and i asked him when he was coming back and he said that he didnt know. Since that dream the divorce has always been my fault....I must have done somehting soooo terrible that made him leave my sisters and brother and I. What i didnt realize til later was that it wasnt our fault. Dad was just doing his own thing. Dad went to live next door with his new girlfriend so i still got to see him when i wanted to. When we moved across town... that was a different story..... it was every other weekend and every other holiday. Mom remarried to this guy she met at a fireman's dance when i was almost ten years old. Because of him getting a teaching job in the bay area.... we had to move. That meant even less time to see dad. It got to the point where i was lucky to see him once or twice a year. He'd call and say he'd get us.. but then either not show up or cancel. I found out later a lot of that was because he was in and out of Rehab.. he had gotten too many duis.
Things went on and we had moved again...Everything was alright until the eight grade... I started tryin to end my own life. I didnt get along with stepdad and mom would always take his side in things. I didnt want to live anymore...I hated myself and the way i looked.... the kids at school were always teasing me.. and no matter what.. i just couldnt do anything right. So i wrote a letter to the school paper.. and the principal got a hold of it... this went on into highschool... they found every excuse there was to say that there was nothing wrong with me..... but when ya write notes saying what when where why and how.. there's something not right there.
I didnt start dating til i was a junior in highschool and during that time i was looking for love in all the wrong places. I didnt have that many boyfriends but the ones i did have. Id have done and did anything they wanted just so they wouldnt leave. Mom and i didnt get along too good. I also started drinkin a lot in my junior year in highschool. I thank God today that he kept me through all that cause if it wasnt for him.. i should have been dead.
At the age of 19..... i met this guy at a pool hall one night with my sisters and brother. He was cute and friendly.... I left him my number that night.. and he called wanting to go out. It was a dream date. He was a total gentleman and i had a blast. We decided that we'd go out again later that week.. this time he didnt tell me where we were going...... sighs......that night i was raped.... i didnt want him to do that.. i was just too scared to stop him....
When i was in my earlier twenties I was sexually assaulted by a friend from junior high. I never did press charges on either of them.. i couldnt.... Things just went nuts from there... i was on anit depressants for a while.... and then took myself off of them. I didnt want them anymore.
A year ago now I attempted to commit suicide because someone said that they didnt want to me around.... and this person was my world.. if i wasnt at home or work... thats where i was. Everything could have gone sooo wrong.. but it didnt.. God took care of me.. and im soooo thankful for that... three to four months after that incident... He set me free from suicide and depression. I have times where i fight it.. but everything is much brighter and happier now... and i can live life and love it! Ive also been sober for a year now.. not that I really drakn a lot like my dad.. but it was a problem for me.
Today things are not easier to deal with.. I just know how to handle them. Ive said all this to say that no matter what you are going through in your life... God's there and he's wanting you to run to him. I still dont love myself like God loves me.. but im starting to like myself.... and in time things will change. Im sooooooo thankful and sooooo glad that we have a savior a friend a God we can turn to and that loves us no matter what. I know im gonna fall... thats a given.. but with Christ i can get back up and so can you! He loves you! Dont ever forget that!
I am 26 yrs old and studying for full time youth ministy. I love God with all my heart. I became a christian my sophomore year in highschool but rededicated my life to God almost five years ago.My parents were divorced when i was six years old. I used to think that it was all my fault that they did because i had this dream that i had come home one day from school with a sad smiley note and dad was at the table doin bills. I showed dad and the next thing i know him and more are fighting and dishes are flying everywhere and then the dream switched to where my dad was outside with a suitcase... and i asked him when he was coming back and he said that he didnt know. Since that dream the divorce has always been my fault....I must have done somehting soooo terrible that made him leave my sisters and brother and I. What i didnt realize til later was that it wasnt our fault. Dad was just doing his own thing. Dad went to live next door with his new girlfriend so i still got to see him when i wanted to. When we moved across town... that was a different story..... it was every other weekend and every other holiday. Mom remarried to this guy she met at a fireman's dance when i was almost ten years old. Because of him getting a teaching job in the bay area.... we had to move. That meant even less time to see dad. It got to the point where i was lucky to see him once or twice a year. He'd call and say he'd get us.. but then either not show up or cancel. I found out later a lot of that was because he was in and out of Rehab.. he had gotten too many duis.
Things went on and we had moved again...Everything was alright until the eight grade... I started tryin to end my own life. I didnt get along with stepdad and mom would always take his side in things. I didnt want to live anymore...I hated myself and the way i looked.... the kids at school were always teasing me.. and no matter what.. i just couldnt do anything right. So i wrote a letter to the school paper.. and the principal got a hold of it... this went on into highschool... they found every excuse there was to say that there was nothing wrong with me..... but when ya write notes saying what when where why and how.. there's something not right there.
I didnt start dating til i was a junior in highschool and during that time i was looking for love in all the wrong places. I didnt have that many boyfriends but the ones i did have. Id have done and did anything they wanted just so they wouldnt leave. Mom and i didnt get along too good. I also started drinkin a lot in my junior year in highschool. I thank God today that he kept me through all that cause if it wasnt for him.. i should have been dead.
At the age of 19..... i met this guy at a pool hall one night with my sisters and brother. He was cute and friendly.... I left him my number that night.. and he called wanting to go out. It was a dream date. He was a total gentleman and i had a blast. We decided that we'd go out again later that week.. this time he didnt tell me where we were going...... sighs......that night i was raped.... i didnt want him to do that.. i was just too scared to stop him....
When i was in my earlier twenties I was sexually assaulted by a friend from junior high. I never did press charges on either of them.. i couldnt.... Things just went nuts from there... i was on anit depressants for a while.... and then took myself off of them. I didnt want them anymore.
A year ago now I attempted to commit suicide because someone said that they didnt want to me around.... and this person was my world.. if i wasnt at home or work... thats where i was. Everything could have gone sooo wrong.. but it didnt.. God took care of me.. and im soooo thankful for that... three to four months after that incident... He set me free from suicide and depression. I have times where i fight it.. but everything is much brighter and happier now... and i can live life and love it! Ive also been sober for a year now.. not that I really drakn a lot like my dad.. but it was a problem for me.
Today things are not easier to deal with.. I just know how to handle them. Ive said all this to say that no matter what you are going through in your life... God's there and he's wanting you to run to him. I still dont love myself like God loves me.. but im starting to like myself.... and in time things will change. Im sooooooo thankful and sooooo glad that we have a savior a friend a God we can turn to and that loves us no matter what. I know im gonna fall... thats a given.. but with Christ i can get back up and so can you! He loves you! Dont ever forget that!
Terri 
