About to pop the questions

[C Johnson]

So my gf of 3 years and I have discussed marriage and I’m going to pop the question this month. She isn’t a Christian and I know God but haven’t been living the most grounded Christian life. That aside, early in our relationship I entertained a lot of other females but have stopped some she knows of and others she doesn’t. She hasn’t asked about some of them but I’ve repented and asked God to forgive me of it. My question is, is it sin to keep pre marital sins, that God has forgiven you of and repented of secret going into marriage?

 

[thecolorsblend]

01- If you're a Christian, you should not marry a non-Christian.
02- If you're a Christian, you should not have, ah, premarital relations.

I think keeping those things a secret from your girlfriend pale in comparison to those two things. This girl might come to genuine faith at some point. But unless she does, marrying her is probably not a good idea.

 

[Aussie Pete]

So my gf of 3 years and I have discussed marriage and I’m going to pop the question this month. She isn’t a Christian and I know God but haven’t been living the most grounded Christian life. That aside, early in our relationship I entertained a lot of other females but have stopped some she knows of and others she doesn’t. She hasn’t asked about some of them but I’ve repented and asked God to forgive me of it. My question is, is it sin to keep pre marital sins, that God has forgiven you of and repented of secret going into marriage?

That is a really good question. In your case, I'd say nothing unless she raises the issue. You need to be honest, but you are not obliged to answer questions that she's not asked. I hope you realise that it could be a rocky road at times. The Bible warns against Christians marrying unbelievers for a reason.

 

[C Johnson]

Let me rephrase that, by her mannerisms and I would say we’re both Christians just not practicing as we should. Just for clarification

 

[C Johnson]

That is a really good question. In your case, I'd say nothing unless she raises the issue. You need to be honest, but you are not obliged to answer questions that she's not asked. I hope you realise that it could be a rocky road at times. The Bible warns against Christians marrying unbelievers for a reason


Let me rephrase that, by her mannerisms and I would say we’re both Christians just not practicing as we should. Just for clarification

 

[Aussie Pete]

Thanks for the clarification. I'd still be wary of volunteering the information. Weak Christians may have trouble forgiving others. There is more than enough opportunity for unforgiveness in the marriage relationship. As an aside, I would highly recommend Mark Gungor's seminars on marriage. You should watch together. He is very funny as well as insightful. You can find him on You Tube.

 

[C Johnson]

Thanks for the clarification. I'd still be wary of volunteering the information. Weak Christians may have trouble forgiving others. There is more than enough opportunity for unforgiveness in the marriage relationship. As an aside, I would highly recommend Mark Gungor's seminars on marriage. You should watch together. He is very funny as well as insightful. You can find him on You Tube.

Thank you. I feel awful for the cheating, flirting and being a “player” and harm I caused her. But I have repented and never did it again.

 

[Lost4words]

Start as you mean to go on. No hidden secrets. No lies.

 

[C Johnson]

Start as you mean to go on. No hidden secrets. No lies.

Going forward? Or leave what’s in the past in the past and don’t start new problems ?

 

[Maria Billingsley]

So my gf of 3 years and I have discussed marriage and I’m going to pop the question this month. She isn’t a Christian and I know God but haven’t been living the most grounded Christian life. That aside, early in our relationship I entertained a lot of other females but have stopped some she knows of and others she doesn’t. She hasn’t asked about some of them but I’ve repented and asked God to forgive me of it. My question is, is it sin to keep pre marital sins, that God has forgiven you of and repented of secret going into marriage?

I suggest you stop fornicating with your girlfriend. You are not a good example at this time. The Lord comes first and you know what He asks of you. If you ever want to see success in your marriage best to start with the woman you love. If you have truly repented, then asking for her forgiveness would be a natural next step.
Blessings.

 

[Lost4words]

Going forward? Or leave what’s in the past in the past and don’t start new problems ?

Truth is always the best. Discuss with her about any past things you think should be disclosed. Maybe she has some too!

 

[Dave-W]

IF (and to me it is a BIG if) you both are Christians, i would STRONGLY suggest you get into pre-marital counseling with a pastor or christian therapist to get your lives on track with your faith BEFORE you propose. All of that stuff will come out in the safety of the counselor office.

 

[E.C.]

So my gf of 3 years and I have discussed marriage and I’m going to pop the question this month. She isn’t a Christian and I know God but haven’t been living the most grounded Christian life. That aside, early in our relationship I entertained a lot of other females but have stopped some she knows of and others she doesn’t. She hasn’t asked about some of them but I’ve repented and asked God to forgive me of it. My question is, is it sin to keep pre marital sins, that God has forgiven you of and repented of secret going into marriage?

Does she support and respect you being a Christian? If she can do that, than that's half the battle. Yes, it would be better if you two were Christians, but I'd strongly recommending having a long conversation about if you plan on having kids. If you're both planning on having children than you need to be on the same page about how you would raise said children. Would you raise them to be Christians? If so, would she support it?


As for the sin stuff, well, I can't say if you've been forgiven or not (that's God's job, not mine), but I will say this part. I am an Eastern Orthodox Christian. In our Church we practice Confession. Without going into too much theology, any sins we confess in Confession are considered forgiven. However, dwelling on sins that we've already confessed is bad for our spiritual health. I'm not saying don't feel bad or not, but don't let it be what kills your relationship with others. You made a mistake, you came clean, she forgave you, don't do it again.