- Apr 16, 2020
- 31
- 22
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
This is not a testimony of how I came to believe.
Your not missing much though, as It doesn't have any flashing lights, visions or voices from above.
Nor is it a story of rags to riches or involve my leaving behind a life of crime or homelessness.
I was not mysteriously elevated from dealing drugs to leading a worldwide ministry.
Mine is an all too common story of a life spent looking for a pot of gold and failing to see the treasure laying at my feet, where it had always been.
Temporary insanity lasting around 50 years, where I was the patient and God was patient.
I came to Christ by way of an Alpha course, as do many.
This testimony is about how accepting Christ is only the beginning.
It's about opening the door, allowing him in, surrendering control to him and being amazed when he takes over and shows you how it should be done!
It's about trusting him and being open to his love and the freedom it brings.
It's about our God leaping out of the pages of the Bible and becoming a real and powerful presence in our lives.
It's about answered prayers…….
Friday the 27th of January 2017 was a Friday like any other Friday, last day of a typical working week which started out just like every other working day.
My drive to work is a fairly long although not unpleasant one.
This is my time with God, a time in which I speak, pray and yes it's me we're talking about so I sing to him as well!
I thank him for the day, each one a gift, I thank him for his love and I thank him for the many blessings he pours out into my life.
I thank him for my wife Jayne, my job, her job, our home, family, friends and church.
I thank him for loving me even when I can't love myself…I do that a lot actually.
My job is a blessing, I am treated well and for the first time in many years I feel hope for the future.
However, the enemy never sleeps and constantly seeks to remind me of the pain and disappointment Jayne and I experienced in the autumn and winter of 2011.
That's when we moved to Nova Scotia and when we were forced to return after only two months, having given up everything and lost much, including most of our life savings and my lovely Mum who passed away whilst we were over there.
Anyway, this isn't about that, not really, it's about the scars it left though and how they have continued to hurt and define me for the last nine years!
Despite all being well in my world, I still could not fully relax into and enjoy the blessings now being bestowed upon me. I feared that it would not last, that it was only an oasis in the desert from which I would ultimately be cast out of...again.
My scars were deep and the enemy knew only too well how to use them to rob me of joy in Gods blessings.
He couldn't take those blessing from me but he could rob me of any joy in them, "if it seems too good to be true" he would whisper into my thoughts "it probably is".
All this is just about telling you why I happened to pray what I prayed on this particular Friday.
"Lord, why can't I shake off this constant feeling of uncertainty, even when there is no cause for it? Why, when I should feel joy do I feel this fear of it all being temporary? I want to enjoy your blessings but Lord I'm scared it won't last and just like Nova Scotia it will all be taken from me again?"
I don't even know why, on this particular day I felt this so acutely but I did...
"Lord, please give me a sign", I continued, "a word to reassure me. Let me know Father that everything will be alright and that you'll look after me? Please Lord, I need you to put my mind at rest, I need you Lord"
I continued as always by singing two choruses of 10,000 reasons "Bless the Lord oh my soul".....went to work and the day passed without incident or indeed anything else to set it apart from any other day.
On the way home I thought about filling up the car with fuel, ready for the weekend.
I considered not bothering as it wasn't fully empty, but for some reason this made me uncomfortable.
“No best not leave it” I decided, so I called in at the usual filling station.
I got there around 5:30 pm, a little later than usual, filled up and went in to pay.
As I walked back to my car I noticed a tall, well dressed, young, slim and good looking (compared to me!) man walking as if to go and pay for his fuel. However, he suddenly made eye contact with me and immediately altered course towards me. I naturally felt a little defensive and I silently wondered "Did I cut him up earlier on the road"?
He walked right up to me, stopped and said "Excuse me, I hope you don't mind but I have a word for you from The Lord!"
Now as a Christian I am fully aware and accepting of, the supernatural and Gods ability to speak to us through others. However, I have never thought of myself as a particularly spiritual man or one prone to the more supernatural experiences that some Christians seem blessed with.
Therefore imagine my shock at being addressed in his manner by a man I had never met before?
Things like this simply do not, or should I say did not happen to me!
"Oh" I said, well what else could I say? I was a little taken aback and (remarkably for me) speechless so "Oh" seemed a perfectly good place to start.
However I soon realised that although perfectly appropriate "Oh" was perhaps a little limiting if the conversation were to continue and progress toward anything meaningful.
"Err..Ok, please tell me" I said, and he Proceeded to do so with such feeling and confidence that I hung onto his every word as the noise and indeed my very awareness of the filling station receded...
"The Lord wants you to know that he will not allow the bees to sting you, that his word covers you like a bee keepers suit. Reach in and take the honey, enjoy the honey for you will not be stung. His word covers you, you will not be stung."
These words were delivered without the question mark that so typically finishes so many statements in today's language??? There was no room for doubt in my mind, God spoke through him!
I didn't know what to say, after all as I said this sort of thing always happened to other, arguably more mature or better Christians but never to me!
However I needed to say something and as I'd already overworked my old friend "Oh" I felt I should try to bring on a few verbal reinforcements.
"Thank you" I said, "you cannot know just how relevant and timely This word is for me".
It was as if he knew the prayer I had prayed that morning?
He smiled and said "Oh, (see he was doing it now?!) that's great" although he did not seem overly surprised...
He went on to tell me that his name was Thomas, and that he had been practically running on empty for many miles. He told me that his fuel warning light had been on for nine miles and that despite his growing anxiety about running out of fuel and even passing two or three petrol stations before this one, he felt he had to wait. He believed the Lord told him to wait for this one and it would seem, for me!
We spoke for a short while, he told me he was an ex-professional footballer who had to stop because of injury, got into selling drugs, paid the price, was blessed with salvation and was now doing work in Christian sports mentoring.
He told me to let him know if I wanted prayer, we exchanged mobile numbers, gave each other a big man hug and went our separate ways.
Now, I am not prone to over spiritualisation, it's not that I'm cynical so much as cautious.
It's too easy sometimes to attribute everything to the supernatural when, given some consideration a more down to earth explanation is usually available. However, there was something unusual about Thomas, an aura, a gentleness and a comfortable confidence that did not quiet fit in with the every day environment of a BP filling station on a dark Friday night in January.
In fact now I think of it, his clothes, although very clean and smart were most inappropriate for the season! He should have been shivering but he wasn't!
Perhaps he was an Angel or perhaps he was simply a man used by God, totally unaware of the almost palpable presence of the Holy Spirit upon him, let alone how that anointing upon him was perceived by me?
However, it is clear to me that Thomas, be he a man or Angel, had been used by God and that my life and probably his, have been blessed and changed as a result of Thomas’ faithful obedience to God.
So, no fireworks, no feeling of power or even a new anointing, just a feeling of blessed reassurance that my Father in heaven has heard my prayer, spoken to me and replaced my fears with a confidence that I can enjoy his blessings and that I need not fear.
When God grants you a bountiful catch, he will also strengthen the net so it will not break and nothing will be lost.
His blessings are sweet like honey and although the enemy will continue in his attempts to rob me of joy, to replace the sweetness with the bitter stings of fear and disappointment...my God, my Father, my wonderful Saviour will protect me and keep me in his hand...in his word.
So Keep praying my friends, never give up on him because he never gives up on us.
Our God not only hears us but he will surely answer!
Your not missing much though, as It doesn't have any flashing lights, visions or voices from above.
Nor is it a story of rags to riches or involve my leaving behind a life of crime or homelessness.
I was not mysteriously elevated from dealing drugs to leading a worldwide ministry.
Mine is an all too common story of a life spent looking for a pot of gold and failing to see the treasure laying at my feet, where it had always been.
Temporary insanity lasting around 50 years, where I was the patient and God was patient.
I came to Christ by way of an Alpha course, as do many.
This testimony is about how accepting Christ is only the beginning.
It's about opening the door, allowing him in, surrendering control to him and being amazed when he takes over and shows you how it should be done!
It's about trusting him and being open to his love and the freedom it brings.
It's about our God leaping out of the pages of the Bible and becoming a real and powerful presence in our lives.
It's about answered prayers…….
Friday the 27th of January 2017 was a Friday like any other Friday, last day of a typical working week which started out just like every other working day.
My drive to work is a fairly long although not unpleasant one.
This is my time with God, a time in which I speak, pray and yes it's me we're talking about so I sing to him as well!
I thank him for the day, each one a gift, I thank him for his love and I thank him for the many blessings he pours out into my life.
I thank him for my wife Jayne, my job, her job, our home, family, friends and church.
I thank him for loving me even when I can't love myself…I do that a lot actually.
My job is a blessing, I am treated well and for the first time in many years I feel hope for the future.
However, the enemy never sleeps and constantly seeks to remind me of the pain and disappointment Jayne and I experienced in the autumn and winter of 2011.
That's when we moved to Nova Scotia and when we were forced to return after only two months, having given up everything and lost much, including most of our life savings and my lovely Mum who passed away whilst we were over there.
Anyway, this isn't about that, not really, it's about the scars it left though and how they have continued to hurt and define me for the last nine years!
Despite all being well in my world, I still could not fully relax into and enjoy the blessings now being bestowed upon me. I feared that it would not last, that it was only an oasis in the desert from which I would ultimately be cast out of...again.
My scars were deep and the enemy knew only too well how to use them to rob me of joy in Gods blessings.
He couldn't take those blessing from me but he could rob me of any joy in them, "if it seems too good to be true" he would whisper into my thoughts "it probably is".
All this is just about telling you why I happened to pray what I prayed on this particular Friday.
"Lord, why can't I shake off this constant feeling of uncertainty, even when there is no cause for it? Why, when I should feel joy do I feel this fear of it all being temporary? I want to enjoy your blessings but Lord I'm scared it won't last and just like Nova Scotia it will all be taken from me again?"
I don't even know why, on this particular day I felt this so acutely but I did...
"Lord, please give me a sign", I continued, "a word to reassure me. Let me know Father that everything will be alright and that you'll look after me? Please Lord, I need you to put my mind at rest, I need you Lord"
I continued as always by singing two choruses of 10,000 reasons "Bless the Lord oh my soul".....went to work and the day passed without incident or indeed anything else to set it apart from any other day.
On the way home I thought about filling up the car with fuel, ready for the weekend.
I considered not bothering as it wasn't fully empty, but for some reason this made me uncomfortable.
“No best not leave it” I decided, so I called in at the usual filling station.
I got there around 5:30 pm, a little later than usual, filled up and went in to pay.
As I walked back to my car I noticed a tall, well dressed, young, slim and good looking (compared to me!) man walking as if to go and pay for his fuel. However, he suddenly made eye contact with me and immediately altered course towards me. I naturally felt a little defensive and I silently wondered "Did I cut him up earlier on the road"?
He walked right up to me, stopped and said "Excuse me, I hope you don't mind but I have a word for you from The Lord!"
Now as a Christian I am fully aware and accepting of, the supernatural and Gods ability to speak to us through others. However, I have never thought of myself as a particularly spiritual man or one prone to the more supernatural experiences that some Christians seem blessed with.
Therefore imagine my shock at being addressed in his manner by a man I had never met before?
Things like this simply do not, or should I say did not happen to me!
"Oh" I said, well what else could I say? I was a little taken aback and (remarkably for me) speechless so "Oh" seemed a perfectly good place to start.
However I soon realised that although perfectly appropriate "Oh" was perhaps a little limiting if the conversation were to continue and progress toward anything meaningful.
"Err..Ok, please tell me" I said, and he Proceeded to do so with such feeling and confidence that I hung onto his every word as the noise and indeed my very awareness of the filling station receded...
"The Lord wants you to know that he will not allow the bees to sting you, that his word covers you like a bee keepers suit. Reach in and take the honey, enjoy the honey for you will not be stung. His word covers you, you will not be stung."
These words were delivered without the question mark that so typically finishes so many statements in today's language??? There was no room for doubt in my mind, God spoke through him!
I didn't know what to say, after all as I said this sort of thing always happened to other, arguably more mature or better Christians but never to me!
However I needed to say something and as I'd already overworked my old friend "Oh" I felt I should try to bring on a few verbal reinforcements.
"Thank you" I said, "you cannot know just how relevant and timely This word is for me".
It was as if he knew the prayer I had prayed that morning?
He smiled and said "Oh, (see he was doing it now?!) that's great" although he did not seem overly surprised...
He went on to tell me that his name was Thomas, and that he had been practically running on empty for many miles. He told me that his fuel warning light had been on for nine miles and that despite his growing anxiety about running out of fuel and even passing two or three petrol stations before this one, he felt he had to wait. He believed the Lord told him to wait for this one and it would seem, for me!
We spoke for a short while, he told me he was an ex-professional footballer who had to stop because of injury, got into selling drugs, paid the price, was blessed with salvation and was now doing work in Christian sports mentoring.
He told me to let him know if I wanted prayer, we exchanged mobile numbers, gave each other a big man hug and went our separate ways.
Now, I am not prone to over spiritualisation, it's not that I'm cynical so much as cautious.
It's too easy sometimes to attribute everything to the supernatural when, given some consideration a more down to earth explanation is usually available. However, there was something unusual about Thomas, an aura, a gentleness and a comfortable confidence that did not quiet fit in with the every day environment of a BP filling station on a dark Friday night in January.
In fact now I think of it, his clothes, although very clean and smart were most inappropriate for the season! He should have been shivering but he wasn't!
Perhaps he was an Angel or perhaps he was simply a man used by God, totally unaware of the almost palpable presence of the Holy Spirit upon him, let alone how that anointing upon him was perceived by me?
However, it is clear to me that Thomas, be he a man or Angel, had been used by God and that my life and probably his, have been blessed and changed as a result of Thomas’ faithful obedience to God.
So, no fireworks, no feeling of power or even a new anointing, just a feeling of blessed reassurance that my Father in heaven has heard my prayer, spoken to me and replaced my fears with a confidence that I can enjoy his blessings and that I need not fear.
When God grants you a bountiful catch, he will also strengthen the net so it will not break and nothing will be lost.
His blessings are sweet like honey and although the enemy will continue in his attempts to rob me of joy, to replace the sweetness with the bitter stings of fear and disappointment...my God, my Father, my wonderful Saviour will protect me and keep me in his hand...in his word.
So Keep praying my friends, never give up on him because he never gives up on us.
Our God not only hears us but he will surely answer!
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