A Wedding - and problem with parents

[heikki]

Hello

I am an young man of age 27. I'm getting married soon with my fiancee. She is same age as I, and we have been together for four years now. We have known each other for about 8 years. We are happy together, and we both believe in Jesus Christ. I proposed my girlfriend last may, and the wedding is also in this may.

The problem is that my parents does not really like us to get married, or at least completely. My parents, which both also do believe in Jesus, first become very sad when I told them that we are getting married; they found it very sad that I am going to marry someone who "does not believe", even though my girlfriend has made the decision to believe and follow Jesus. They just can't see that she does really believe - and she has also told them.

One other thing, or actually part of this, is that my parents does not want to come to our wedding if our wedding includes dancing. In country where I live, there is quite many people who like to have dancing in weddings, like my fiancee. My parents find dancing always sinful, and they have decided, that if the wedding includes dancing, they do not want to come to the wedding at all. It is so sad, because I love my parents, but I also want to give my fiancee the possibility to dance with me an for example with her parents. My parents have said that if there is just one wedding walz, it can be ok, but if there is any more dancing, they can't accept it at all.

I myself find dancing quite neutral thing. It is not a sin, if it's done by keepning your mind and thoughts clean; if you think something unacceptable of your dance partner, then it becomes a sin.

My parents are getting very depressed with this thing, they find that I do not honour them and the way they believe. I find that honouring parents is not this kind of thing - if we wouldn't invite my parents to the wedding, that is something unhonourable.

I - and especially my girlfriend/fiancee - do not either want to give away the dancing, becouse we do not find it sinful in the way we want to have it as a part of our wedding.

What do you think? What should I do? I love both; my fiancee and my parents. I know, that I must leave my parents, but in this way, it feels so hard. I want so much to marry my girlfriend, she is wonderful woman.

 

[Qyöt27]

A line has to be drawn somewhere. There will simply be some things that can't be reconciled if your beliefs differ from your parents'. As you said, it wouldn't be honorable to not invite them, but if you're not willing to compromise on the dancing, then invite them but just make them aware of that and leave it be. If they can't handle it and refuse to attend, that's their problem, not yours. I wouldn't go so far as to say them refusing to attend would be disrespectful to you, but in the end, you did what you could. It may seem cold, but as you're getting married here, your world is already - or will be - larger than the world you lived in with your parents. You can't be faulted for that.

 

[E.C.]

A line has to be drawn somewhere. There will simply be some things that can't be reconciled if your beliefs differ from your parents'. As you said, it wouldn't be honorable to not invite them, but if you're not willing to compromise on the dancing, then invite them but just make them aware of that and leave it be. If they can't handle it and refuse to attend, that's their problem, not yours. I wouldn't go so far as to say them refusing to attend would be disrespectful to you, but in the end, you did what you could. It may seem cold, but as you're getting married here, your world is already - or will be - larger than the world you lived in with your parents. You can't be faulted for that.

Well put.


On top of this, pray for your parents. Hopefully they will put aside that prejudice towards dancing at least long enough to see their son get married. Maybe it would help to make it clear that dancing, although a part of the post-wedding festivities, is not required (I assume it is not) for them to partake.

But above all else, pray for them. I find it sad how they seem so uptight about dancing that they will not see their own child get married. Only God can work there.

But pray for them.

 

[LisaBaby04]

I agree with these two posts =)

At the end of the day, it's YOUR day! And you're financee's and your doing it to show your love for each other. Keep praying for your parent's change of hearts that they can support you but really, everyone agrees on different things. I can't really imagine two people agreeing whole heartedly on EVERY topic and how they stand on it Biblically! That's when prejudice has to be put aside for love so I hope your parents can put aside their beliefs for your day.

Congratulations and good luck =)

 

[monastic_raindrop]

I hope that you get this message one way or another.

You are your own man, and as a believer in Jesus Christ, does he not pray for you to be one with him as he is one with our God, Father of Jesus Christ. Does he not pray. Then know this my friend, than if you have faith in Jesus Christ, you have faith in this oneness. You do not wrong to dance, to be happy and to marry the woman you love. Even if the worst of the worst was to happen in your mind and you would be without wife or parents or their love, God will always love you. You do no wrong by getting united before the eyes of God with the woman you love who you believe is faithful to you. So go with God. If your parents do love you, they will see that you are happy and will pray for forgiveness to God for what have they to fear but the Love of God and if you do no wrong in Gods eyes then who are your parents to judge you my friend!

Love them and respect them, but do not be ruled by their will for your will belongs to our God, our Holy Father, His Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. You are free my friend.

All the best.

 

[RachieCat]

I agree with these two posts =)

At the end of the day, it's YOUR day! And you're financee's and your doing it to show your love for each other. Keep praying for your parent's change of hearts that they can support you but really, everyone agrees on different things. I can't really imagine two people agreeing whole heartedly on EVERY topic and how they stand on it Biblically! That's when prejudice has to be put aside for love so I hope your parents can put aside their beliefs for your day.

Congratulations and good luck =)

So right,4 years. It is time.