This is a story I started writing about a year ago and have not finished. If I were to rewrite the whole thing I have a feeling it would drastically improve, though that's something I wouldn't attempt without a lot of feedback. If anyone would like to comment, critisize, or say how worthless the story is (go ahead, as long as it's honest) feel free to. I'll post the first chapter for now.
Raul, you need to go to sleep soon. Remember you have a test in Chemistry tomorrow.
I know mom, I just have one more little assignment to complete.
Good night, Raul.
Good night, Mom.
Raul had no idea of what to write. Well, nothing good enough to write about. There were so many unoriginal, worthless thoughts racing through his mind. If he wrote them on paper, it would be like writing a cliché that was in the form of a short story. A story that was boring because none of its ideas were exciting or original, just hollow platitudes.
Raul stifled a yawn. He decided he should lie down to think (he managed to convince himself) about what his story should be like. The real reason he was lying down on his bed was that his body was tired, and he wanted to sleep. Raul tried to think about his story, but he soon became unfocused. His thoughts drifted off to what he should wear tomorrow, how the guy in his P.E. class had really cool shoes, and man, how he wanted to get some sleep. He closed his eyes, and it wasnt long before he couldnt get them open.
In his dream, Raul was lying on a flat rock, looking up at the nighttime sky. The sky above looked like a midnight blue blanket, with tiny holes poked in it to let light shine through. A full moon made it too bright to see the fainter stars. He looked around. He was on top of a mountain that towered above two valleys on either side. Moonlight shimmered off the glacial lakes in the valleys. A cold wind blew, but Raul covered himself with a blanket.
What a cool dream, Raul thought, and drifted back to sleep.
In the morning, Raul woke up and instantly panicked. He hadnt written his story, and even worse, he was late for school. The sun already shone brightly in the sky. Why hadnt he set his alarm clock? He looked around, and found himself in a place entirely different than he expected. Instead of his alarm clock was a rock about the same size. And instead of his soft, comfortable bed, he was positioned on top of a rock. There he was, on a mountaintop above two valleys on either side; he saw the same lakes he had seen in his previous dream. Raul looked down at his blanket--the one that had kept him from being bitten by a chilly wind.
Good, he thought, Im just in a dream. Its funny how I should dream of the same place twice. Looking around again, Raul was surprised by how real everything was. He hadnt ever had a dream this detailed. This is too real, Raul said aloud.
A fire ant crawled up his hand. Raul felt the ants legs tickling his skin, but it bit him before he could do anything about it. Reacting to the painful sting, Raul smacked his hand, and the fire ant was squashed.
In this dream, Raul could feel pain. But he was beginning to wonder if this was at all a dream. If it was a dream, it would be a very uncommon one: first, he had dreamed of the same place twice; second, it was eerily real; third, he could feel pain; and fourth, he could tell just how many minutes had passed. It had been about three minutes since he had woken up. Most dreams didnt last that long.
What could he do to prove this wasnt a dream? Wait was he crazy? This was a dream, he told himself, and in dreams he would dream of something strange like proving to himself he wasnt dreaming.
I am dreaming, Raul said. He scratched himself, pinched himself, smacked his face, and punched his face but he didnt wake up. Alas, all that he achieved was a smarting face.
All right then, I will wait until I pass into another dream. If I wait long enough, it will happen.
He waited, and waited. While in the process of waiting, he observed his surroundings. By the position of the sun, he could tell which way was north, east, south, and west. A waterfall thundered down to the valley on the east side of the mountain. He saw birds soaring in the air above the forests in the valleys. Sparkling, jeweled rivers fed by glaciers flowed into both valleys. Farther away, he could see a glacier to the north. He saw how pure and clean the glacial lakes were. A lake below reflected a perfect mirror image of the mountain rising above it. It was too beautiful.
Raul couldnt contain himself any more. He started to cry. It was so beautiful, and it was real. Why he was here he did not know, but he knew he was blessed to be here. He wanted to thank someone for bringing him here (wherever he was), but he didnt know whom to thank. His tears had trailed down his face and now dripped off his chin.
He dried his face and sniffed. Raul now noticed he was breathing sharper and shallower-- the air was thin on top of mountains. This is not a dream. Raul looked around again. I must find out why I have come here, he thought.
Raul observed the landscape more closely. He estimated that the mountain he was standing on was 11,000 feet above sea level. The mountain dropped off more steeply on the western slope, and there was one lake visible in the western valley. It was shaped somewhat like a figure eight because of two peninsulas that made the middle narrower. On the far end of the lake was a large forest, and all around the valley were mountains. The lake was probably two hours away. The valley on the east side of the mountain had about ten small lakes, and one large lake at the far end of the valley. The closest lake was to the southeast. Boulders surrounded that lake, and there were few trees around it. Raul saw that the second closest lake had shores dotted by trees, and it looked like it was about an hour and a half away. To the north was a mountain that looked a thousand or so feet taller than the ridge he was on. The east side of the mountain to his north was almost vertical, and the west side looked very jagged.
It would take more than a day to rock climb up the eastern side, and the western side looks tedious, thought Raul. Ill climb it some other day, he joked to himself. Rauls stomach advised him to eat, and his mouth was dry the waterfall sounded like it was inviting him for a drink.
Where shall I go? To the eastern valley or the western valley? Raul pondered.
Raul noticed that the blanket that had kept him warm was a quilt that his mom had made for him. She had probably draped it over him after he had fallen asleep, to keep him warm. Little did she know he would be sleeping on top of a mountain! He was also wearing the same clothes he had fallen asleep in - blue jeans, a plain gray T-shirt, his silver watch, and his shoes. He rolled his quilt into a bundle and tucked it under his arm.
His dark eyes circled once again around the breath-taking mountainous land, stopping to gaze at the lake in closest reach. Raul started to walk down the eastern mountainside, which was very rocky and strewn with large boulders. He found it was too steep to walk straight down in most places, so he zigzagged down the mountain on natural paths that led between the many boulders.
As Raul carefully picked his path down the mountainside, he tried to reason why he was here. He believed, and could almost say he knew, that he wasnt in a dream. Raul was struck by the strangeness of his circumstance. He had fallen asleep in his bedroom and had awakened in the morning outdoors, covered with a blanket! Wait, he had woken up in the night and been in the same place he was now, so maybe he had been in this place since the night before. Had he merely dreamed of this place, and afterwards found himself here? Raul thought, No, that dream had been too realistic to be a creation of my own imagination. But why was he here? After minutes of puzzling and questioning, Raul concluded that he could not yet reason why he was here. He hoped that maybe he could find out where in the world (if it was indeed earth) he was.
Raul trotted and shuffled along, and his destination, he estimated, was just ten minutes away now. As he heel-toed it down the mountain, he couldnt help but think of what was happening at home. He wondered if his body was still in his bedroom. He wondered if his mother had shook him to tell him he was late for school, only he had never waken up. What would happen then? Raul didnt want to think about it.
Maybe it was still nighttime in his bedroom. Maybe his mom and his dad and his brothers and his sisters were all slumbering peacefully; were all visiting their own different dream worlds? Raul hoped for the latter, he didnt want a funeral while he was still alive.
Raul hiked over a small rise, and the lake came into view. It had to be an alpine lake, because it was small and had no streams feeding into it. Raul reached the lakes shoreline. The sapphire water was limpid, and he could see that the lake bottom was covered in rocks. Apparently, there werent any fish. Rauls mouth was dry, and he felt a dull pain in his throat. He got down on his hands and knees, and slurped the clean, cold water. He splashed some water on his face and neck to refresh himself, and then sat on a flat rock.
The azure sky was clear of clouds. The weather was similar to a day in late July or early August in the mountains, unlike at school, where it was already October.
Raul scanned the few trees around the lake, when he noticed something strange about their color. Could it be? At first he thought the trees were getting ready for winter, but they didnt look deciduous and the weather wasnt autumn-like at all.
Raul jogged quickly to the nearest tree. Yes it was! Their bark was gold, and their needles were dark green, edged in silvery-white! It appeared to be a very strange, though very beautiful, species of evergreen. Then again, more like an ever-white tree, he thought. The tree lookedstunted, but it appeared that all of the trees looked like this. The golden, silvery-needled tree stood knee-high on Raul, though some of the other trees were taller. All the trees are short because of their DNA, thought Raul, or theyre stunted, or theyre young saplings. Raul crouched down next to the unearthly beautiful tree, and its metallic shimmer reflected upon his face. He counted the needles to a bundle - one, two, three seven needles grouped together. The tree affirmed the doubt that had been tickling the back of Rauls mind: he was not on earth.
Suddenly, Raul heard a splash down by the lakes shoreline. Without a sound, he quickly hid behind a rock. He peered around the edge of the rock, but didnt see anything moving except for ripples on the lakes surface. Something was out there, though. He waited to see if that something would show itself while he remained unnoticed.
Méllon, yha Relinalda!
Raul spun around at the sound of the voice behind him.
Chapter 1: A Dream
Raul was about to start his short story assignment for his Honors English 3-4 class. He had already spent three hours completing his Chemistry and AP Biology homework. He was very tired, and his eyelids were drooping. He glanced at his alarm clocks red numbers. His short story was due first period tomorrow, and it was 9:50. Rauls mother peeked into his bedroom.
Raul, you need to go to sleep soon. Remember you have a test in Chemistry tomorrow.
I know mom, I just have one more little assignment to complete.
Good night, Raul.
Good night, Mom.
Raul had no idea of what to write. Well, nothing good enough to write about. There were so many unoriginal, worthless thoughts racing through his mind. If he wrote them on paper, it would be like writing a cliché that was in the form of a short story. A story that was boring because none of its ideas were exciting or original, just hollow platitudes.
Raul stifled a yawn. He decided he should lie down to think (he managed to convince himself) about what his story should be like. The real reason he was lying down on his bed was that his body was tired, and he wanted to sleep. Raul tried to think about his story, but he soon became unfocused. His thoughts drifted off to what he should wear tomorrow, how the guy in his P.E. class had really cool shoes, and man, how he wanted to get some sleep. He closed his eyes, and it wasnt long before he couldnt get them open.
In his dream, Raul was lying on a flat rock, looking up at the nighttime sky. The sky above looked like a midnight blue blanket, with tiny holes poked in it to let light shine through. A full moon made it too bright to see the fainter stars. He looked around. He was on top of a mountain that towered above two valleys on either side. Moonlight shimmered off the glacial lakes in the valleys. A cold wind blew, but Raul covered himself with a blanket.
What a cool dream, Raul thought, and drifted back to sleep.
In the morning, Raul woke up and instantly panicked. He hadnt written his story, and even worse, he was late for school. The sun already shone brightly in the sky. Why hadnt he set his alarm clock? He looked around, and found himself in a place entirely different than he expected. Instead of his alarm clock was a rock about the same size. And instead of his soft, comfortable bed, he was positioned on top of a rock. There he was, on a mountaintop above two valleys on either side; he saw the same lakes he had seen in his previous dream. Raul looked down at his blanket--the one that had kept him from being bitten by a chilly wind.
Good, he thought, Im just in a dream. Its funny how I should dream of the same place twice. Looking around again, Raul was surprised by how real everything was. He hadnt ever had a dream this detailed. This is too real, Raul said aloud.
A fire ant crawled up his hand. Raul felt the ants legs tickling his skin, but it bit him before he could do anything about it. Reacting to the painful sting, Raul smacked his hand, and the fire ant was squashed.
In this dream, Raul could feel pain. But he was beginning to wonder if this was at all a dream. If it was a dream, it would be a very uncommon one: first, he had dreamed of the same place twice; second, it was eerily real; third, he could feel pain; and fourth, he could tell just how many minutes had passed. It had been about three minutes since he had woken up. Most dreams didnt last that long.
What could he do to prove this wasnt a dream? Wait was he crazy? This was a dream, he told himself, and in dreams he would dream of something strange like proving to himself he wasnt dreaming.
I am dreaming, Raul said. He scratched himself, pinched himself, smacked his face, and punched his face but he didnt wake up. Alas, all that he achieved was a smarting face.
All right then, I will wait until I pass into another dream. If I wait long enough, it will happen.
He waited, and waited. While in the process of waiting, he observed his surroundings. By the position of the sun, he could tell which way was north, east, south, and west. A waterfall thundered down to the valley on the east side of the mountain. He saw birds soaring in the air above the forests in the valleys. Sparkling, jeweled rivers fed by glaciers flowed into both valleys. Farther away, he could see a glacier to the north. He saw how pure and clean the glacial lakes were. A lake below reflected a perfect mirror image of the mountain rising above it. It was too beautiful.
Raul couldnt contain himself any more. He started to cry. It was so beautiful, and it was real. Why he was here he did not know, but he knew he was blessed to be here. He wanted to thank someone for bringing him here (wherever he was), but he didnt know whom to thank. His tears had trailed down his face and now dripped off his chin.
He dried his face and sniffed. Raul now noticed he was breathing sharper and shallower-- the air was thin on top of mountains. This is not a dream. Raul looked around again. I must find out why I have come here, he thought.
Raul observed the landscape more closely. He estimated that the mountain he was standing on was 11,000 feet above sea level. The mountain dropped off more steeply on the western slope, and there was one lake visible in the western valley. It was shaped somewhat like a figure eight because of two peninsulas that made the middle narrower. On the far end of the lake was a large forest, and all around the valley were mountains. The lake was probably two hours away. The valley on the east side of the mountain had about ten small lakes, and one large lake at the far end of the valley. The closest lake was to the southeast. Boulders surrounded that lake, and there were few trees around it. Raul saw that the second closest lake had shores dotted by trees, and it looked like it was about an hour and a half away. To the north was a mountain that looked a thousand or so feet taller than the ridge he was on. The east side of the mountain to his north was almost vertical, and the west side looked very jagged.
It would take more than a day to rock climb up the eastern side, and the western side looks tedious, thought Raul. Ill climb it some other day, he joked to himself. Rauls stomach advised him to eat, and his mouth was dry the waterfall sounded like it was inviting him for a drink.
Where shall I go? To the eastern valley or the western valley? Raul pondered.
Raul noticed that the blanket that had kept him warm was a quilt that his mom had made for him. She had probably draped it over him after he had fallen asleep, to keep him warm. Little did she know he would be sleeping on top of a mountain! He was also wearing the same clothes he had fallen asleep in - blue jeans, a plain gray T-shirt, his silver watch, and his shoes. He rolled his quilt into a bundle and tucked it under his arm.
His dark eyes circled once again around the breath-taking mountainous land, stopping to gaze at the lake in closest reach. Raul started to walk down the eastern mountainside, which was very rocky and strewn with large boulders. He found it was too steep to walk straight down in most places, so he zigzagged down the mountain on natural paths that led between the many boulders.
As Raul carefully picked his path down the mountainside, he tried to reason why he was here. He believed, and could almost say he knew, that he wasnt in a dream. Raul was struck by the strangeness of his circumstance. He had fallen asleep in his bedroom and had awakened in the morning outdoors, covered with a blanket! Wait, he had woken up in the night and been in the same place he was now, so maybe he had been in this place since the night before. Had he merely dreamed of this place, and afterwards found himself here? Raul thought, No, that dream had been too realistic to be a creation of my own imagination. But why was he here? After minutes of puzzling and questioning, Raul concluded that he could not yet reason why he was here. He hoped that maybe he could find out where in the world (if it was indeed earth) he was.
Raul trotted and shuffled along, and his destination, he estimated, was just ten minutes away now. As he heel-toed it down the mountain, he couldnt help but think of what was happening at home. He wondered if his body was still in his bedroom. He wondered if his mother had shook him to tell him he was late for school, only he had never waken up. What would happen then? Raul didnt want to think about it.
Maybe it was still nighttime in his bedroom. Maybe his mom and his dad and his brothers and his sisters were all slumbering peacefully; were all visiting their own different dream worlds? Raul hoped for the latter, he didnt want a funeral while he was still alive.
Raul hiked over a small rise, and the lake came into view. It had to be an alpine lake, because it was small and had no streams feeding into it. Raul reached the lakes shoreline. The sapphire water was limpid, and he could see that the lake bottom was covered in rocks. Apparently, there werent any fish. Rauls mouth was dry, and he felt a dull pain in his throat. He got down on his hands and knees, and slurped the clean, cold water. He splashed some water on his face and neck to refresh himself, and then sat on a flat rock.
The azure sky was clear of clouds. The weather was similar to a day in late July or early August in the mountains, unlike at school, where it was already October.
Raul scanned the few trees around the lake, when he noticed something strange about their color. Could it be? At first he thought the trees were getting ready for winter, but they didnt look deciduous and the weather wasnt autumn-like at all.
Raul jogged quickly to the nearest tree. Yes it was! Their bark was gold, and their needles were dark green, edged in silvery-white! It appeared to be a very strange, though very beautiful, species of evergreen. Then again, more like an ever-white tree, he thought. The tree lookedstunted, but it appeared that all of the trees looked like this. The golden, silvery-needled tree stood knee-high on Raul, though some of the other trees were taller. All the trees are short because of their DNA, thought Raul, or theyre stunted, or theyre young saplings. Raul crouched down next to the unearthly beautiful tree, and its metallic shimmer reflected upon his face. He counted the needles to a bundle - one, two, three seven needles grouped together. The tree affirmed the doubt that had been tickling the back of Rauls mind: he was not on earth.
Suddenly, Raul heard a splash down by the lakes shoreline. Without a sound, he quickly hid behind a rock. He peered around the edge of the rock, but didnt see anything moving except for ripples on the lakes surface. Something was out there, though. He waited to see if that something would show itself while he remained unnoticed.
Méllon, yha Relinalda!
Raul spun around at the sound of the voice behind him.
