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A Serious Problem

the_man

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Cornell said:
I've been working with this christian lady for almost a year. I'm single, she's married, and I'm scared that I'm falling in love with her. I told her my concerns and I've been trying to avoid her. I still have these feelings and I'm really coveting her. Can anyone give me advice?:cry:

Work work or volunteer work? Can you stop working with her?
 
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Macrina

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Do everything you can to flee temptation -- that means real actual physical distance. Do NOT try to be "just friends" with her. Recognize your limitations and stay away.

Ok, that was the harsh part. Now for the word of encouragement: You have seen something in her that is wonderful, and that goes to show that there are women like her out there. There are also single women who will make you feel this way. Appreciate her from a distance, but respect her marriage vows and your integrity by keeping that distance intact.
 
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songz777

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Quote: There are also single women who will make you feel this way.

Yes amen; There are woman out there who are single and are sweet to the core. Godly and lovely the BEST is WORTH WAITING for. Remember, when you are married you wouldnt want someone getting too close to your wife. Joseph gave the best example, KEEP out of her way as she is an obvious temptation to you. Pray and pray and use common sense to.
:p)
 
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Macrina

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Cornell said:
Thank you all. I will definitely take your advice, keep my distance and pray.

I have to give you major credit for recognizing this problem and admitting it. Too often we deny that our temptations (whatever they may be) exist, until we are so weakened to them that we don't really notice when we step over the line... So I want to say that facing up to the facts of this situation takes courage and faith, and I admire that. We all face temptation -- the test of character is in what we do with it.
 
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Stanfi

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Cornell said:
I have a lot of hurt inside. What can I do about that?

You need to seek God first. Confess this hurt to God and turn it over to Him. Second you need a support group, and accountability group. These are people you can trust, people that you can be open and honest with, who will show you love and help heal this pain.

Do not look for a romanctic relationship, it will not help you. You need to look elsewhere for the deep needs in your life. Only when you are a emotionally healthy should you beging looking for someone to date.

You have to desire to be healed of the pain you have. If you want healing, God will make a way for your to be healed. I know that sounds cliche and shallow, but each one of us has a personal relationship with God. How he heals one person, may not be the same as he heals you.
 
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Macrina

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mrstace said:
Do not look for a romanctic relationship, it will not help you. You need to look elsewhere for the deep needs in your life. Only when you are a emotionally healthy should you beging looking for someone to date.


I agree with the entire post, and thought I would just highlight this excellent piece of advice. so... ditto :)
 
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JWBZ SVT

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My heart truly goes out to you. About 5 years ago when I was NOT living a Christian lifestyle, I worked with a married girl who I didn't know was married for the first 2 months. I was very attracted to her but we weren't dating either. She hooked up with one my friends. Then I found out she was married, and that he didn't like her, only used her for one purpose. Well, she liked him and got her feelings hurt, called me to console her as a friend (which we were friends) but one thing lead to another and well...I'm sure you can connect the dots. I am forgiven for what happend but utterly ashamed to admit this. I HATE that this happened! I wound up getting hurt pretty bad. I'm sharing this with you so you can avoid that situation. Stay away. The hurt you feel now pales in camparison to the hurt that could be. Please follow everyone's advice here. You don't need or want something like that in your closet!

I have never ever done anything else like that again. I wish, however, that I could say "I have never done anything like that at all." Word to the wise...
 
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