A sci-fi story I'm writing...

[ChristianPoet05]

PROLOGUE:

Tek opened his eyes, but immediately shut them against the glaring light. His body ached all over, and he had a tremendous headache. "Where am I?" he groaned, and immediately the ship's computer answered, "You are located in the Infirmary, Kennith Johnson."
Tek sat up, and opened his eyes again. It wasn't as bright, as almost all of the infirmary lights were dimmed, save for an overhead lamp above his own infirmary bed. Tek switched it off, but turned it on again to look at his belt. He opened what appeared to be a belt buckle, and saw blackened chips and disconnected wires.
"Completely fried," he said, taking off the belt.
At that moment, a woman who looked to be in her early thirties, came strolling in. Tek noticed the door had already been opened before.
"Hey, Doc. What's up?"
Leah "Doc" Charles rolled her eyes. "When are you ever going to quit that lame joke? That line from Looney Toons has to be at least 200 years old!"
It was the year 2230, and as Tek looed at his watch, the display changed to 9:00 P.M., his watch being set to Mountain time on Earth, Tek liked to keep a watch, since it reminded him of his former home.
Doc began examining him, and shined a light in his eyes.
"Hey! Quit it!!" Tek said, his eyes seeming to be on fire.
"Mmm, hmm! Just like I thought. You're going to be light-sensitive for a couple of days, so I suggest wearing those sun-goggles you're so fond of."
Tek dug into his pocket for them, and quickly put them on. "Hey, at least I'll be able to work. My anti-Allerian Laser belt is fried, though, so I'm guessing the other's belts are in the same condition. Everyone up but me?" he asked. Doc nodded.
"Yep, you're the last one. Your belt must not have been upgraded all the way. Which is why it didn't absorb those shots from the kill-guns fully."
Tek thought for a moment. "Unless they've managed to upgrade those guns of theirs...what'd Bullet call 'em? LM40-something-or-others? Oh well, just gives Auto another project."
Doc walked over to the wall display, and brought up the "Intercom" program. "Hey, Pilot, the kid's up and about now, so I'll get him on that job you needed done."
A male voice responded, saying, "Roger that, Leah. You get Kenny on the Tracker."

****************

Tek walked through the door to the bridge, and sat down in his usual spot in front of the Holo-Display Surround Set. "So, if I understand this right, they captured the Captain, and I gotta find him? Geez, I"m making you adults look bad."
He was grabbed in a headlock from behind, and a female voice said, "Guess who?"
Tek struggled, spluttering, "Hey! Missy, leggo, alright? I gotta do my job!" He was released, and as he immediately began bringing up holographic displays, Gina "Missy" Mannas walked in front of him, dressed in her skin-tight black leather suit.
"Don't be disrespecting us adults, since we've saved your butt more than once."
Tek chucked, saying, "And vice versa. Besides, you haven't been eighteen that long, ya know, so don't get cocky. Now, please, leave me to my work. I think I may have a bead on the captain's location."
As he was looking at the holo-display of his "Tracker" program, he smiled. Nah, they couldn't be that careless...he thought. After an hour, he brought up the "Intercom" holo-display, and gave Pilot coordinates of where the Allerian ship Destroyer was. "And," he added, "they've been so careless as to stop at a refueling station to run diagnostics on their ship, it seems, or they'd be long gone already."
He was answered quickly by Pilot. "Good job, Ken. Ready for another adventure?"
Tek chuckled. "You mean, where I stay on the ship and Missy gets to have all the fun? I'd love to."

*********************************************************
​

 

[ChristianPoet05]

This is the part between parts of my story when we discuss the previous material. How do you like my story so far?

 

[Fledge]

A prologue isn't much to form an opinion on the potential of a story, so I won't even try. Still, I like it enough that I would kind of like to hear a bit more if you've got any. I don't know how far ahead you've planned your plot line, but if you want to discuss that we could. My younger sister and I both do some writing just for the fun of it, and we will sometimes just discuss ideas behind the story, races, and other things like that. It's a lot of fun, and sometimes we get some really nifty ideas.

Anyway, if you're interested, just let me know.

 

[ChristianPoet05]

Maybe after I post all 38 pages of my story, k? I'm almost on my fourth chapter, and I like this story because of all my characters, as well. This is the farthest I've ever gotten on a story, writing 38 pages. But I'll post it all eventually, then I'll continue to write after that.

 

[ChristianPoet05]

Chapter 1: (Scene 1)

(This is only part of chapter one, it's kinda long, and I only have a set amount of time to get on here.)
​

Zack "Pyro" Miller laid down on his back, looking up at the ceiling of what had become is "home away from home." Of course, a cell really didn't beat his ship. Here, he was stuck. He'd been captured by those Allerian Bounty Hunters again, and he'd been in a cell for the past two weeks. The cells had old looking bar doors and side walls, with one wall solid metal, it being the hull of the ship. For the past week, his next-door-neighbor had been trying to raise somebody, but to no avail. His people were either dead, or out of range. After a few days, it seemed he had given up trying to raise who-knows-who, and seemed content to mess with a gadget that resembled a tracking device to Pyro. He'd actually been talked to by the guy, introducing himself as "Dash." And, apparently, he had a plan.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he had asked.
"Of course, but it's not like they're going to let me escape again. They've put high security on this door, even going so far as to integrate the ship's computer with the door. You wouldn't be able to do anything without their knowledge."
At that, he'd laughed his head off, making Pyro feel like a fool. "Sorry, it's just I didn't think they were so careless. When my ship gets here, they're gonna wish they hadn't gone after me."
After that, he'd been content to mess with his communicator again

Pyro sat up; Dash was whispering, at least that's what it sounded like. "You get your people on that communicator?" he asked.
Dash merely looked back at him and nodded. "We're going to get out of here," he said.
Pyro laid back down, muttering, "Whatever, man." Pyro heard Dash saying something about a virus, or something, and Dash said to Pyro, "Don't worry. A crew member of mine is an expert hacker. And he's only sixteen."
Great, thought Pyro, my freedom depends on a teenage know-it-all...

***********SCENE 2****************
​

"Affirmative, Captain. Over and out." Missy switched off the channel she had been using to communicate with Captain Jake "Dash" Rolands, and switched it on to "Channel TEK." "Do you read me, Tek?" she said.
"Loud and clear," said Tek. "I don't know how long we have 'till those bounty hunters know we're here, and alive, so I've loaded a program into the ship's computer. If we're scanned, it'll come up as the Avenger II, as if we've already been salvaged. I've also downloaded the schematics for the Destroyer, and man, is that one impressive ship! Their computer wasn't a match for me, but I'm afraid you're going to have to directly link up to the cell doors, because I can't open them by using a hailing frequency. I had a hard time convincing them that we're Zygon Pirates, while hacking into their systems. Apparently, they scramble their frequencies every five seconds, and..."
"Tek, today! While we're young!"
"Right, sorry. Go get 'em."
"Affirmative, over and out."
Missy looked at what she called her "spy gadget," and soon Tek had uploaded the map for the Destroyer. She was inside the refueling station's cantina, named The Spacedust Cantina, and was sitting in a corner table unnoticed. "Hmmm," she said, "how do I get to the Captain?" Then she got an idea...

***********************************

​

 

[Akuma]

I myself like it alot. But about the prologue (please don't hit me): North America is split into several timezones so you might want to specify or forget the time thing completely.

*runs whimpering, "I don't mean to offend!"*

 

[ChristianPoet05]

*throws book at Akuma* You must like it, or suffer!!!!

Just kidding, forgot about the time zone thing. There I edited it. Whaddya think?