A question on Trusting your bf or Gf!!!

[Heavenlyangeleyes07]

HI i dont know if this has been on here or not, But i was wondering how could you trust your bf or gf, Im dating a guy that is long distance , and i know that takes a whole lot of trust but i mean this an be in any relationship, if anyone has advice or answers to this question plz let me know thanks.



~Heavenlyangeleyes07~

 

[Fatolia]

First of all, my recommendation is to not make any romantic moves over telephone or online. They seem like more powerful bonds than they actually create.


But I guess maybe I'm not understanding what you mean by "trust." What are you concerned about?

 

[Heavenlyangeleyes07]

Okies the thing im talking about is by trusting a person, How can you trust them to be faithful to you, To trust and believe in them I Dont know how to describe the word trust, i mean you know when you in a relationship with somone u wnat to put ur trust in them, I hope i explain that alright Im not really good at explaing things.

 

[Fatolia]

You mean you don't want the guy to cheat on you, to put it bluntly.


How long have you known this person, and are you aware of some of his faults? Does he trust you? Are you committed to each other? These are important issues.

 

[Heavenlyangeleyes07]

HMm well of course i dont want a guy to cheat on me, which of course i have had that happen and i think that is one reason its soo hard for me to trust a guy, hmm ive know him for months, i know thats not long enough, im still trying to get to know him. He trust in me, and all he wants is for me to trust in him also, but i just want to know how can i do that, i guess im clueless when it comes to relationships. and isnt there verus in the bible that has something on this issues about trusting?.

 

[Fatolia]

Yeah, I understand where the trust things are. I can relate to how dishonorable people can be; it drives me up the wall.
I'd say that if you developed most of your relationship while you were in the same room as him (as in within 10 physical feet), then if he's an honorable man worthy of being your husband, and if he says that he will commit to you before any other woman, than you can trust him.
If he starts to cheat (and I sincerely hope he doesn't), then yes, it may hurt, but that means he wasn't right for you. God would rather you have an honest relationship I hope this works out well though. All the best.
All I can think of is that "no man is good, only God." Trust in God in this situation.

 

[Heavenlyangeleyes07]

Thanks Fatolia, For helping me and giving me advice, And yes God is Great. and Well i dont know about the cheating thing im sure if he does that he will feel guilty enough to tell me, because guilt can eat u up and u will have to eventually get it out even if it does hurt somone. And yes it is hard how some people can be so dishonorable. You know i actually think about when people go to get married do they actually take the vows seriously?? I mean if they did why are there so many divorces and all. Its like why do people get married if they arent really going to stick by the vows? Well the guy i am talking to he has said alot of things that surprised me i mean i cant say he is lying or not, I just want to know also how can u tell if a guy is serious and not just telling youthing u just want to hear. and yes thanks i hope this works out to if not, Its not the end of the world and at least ill still have God in my life and wait for him to choose my true one in life.


~HEavenlyangeleyes07~

 

[pegatha]

Well i dont know about the cheating thing im sure if he does that he will feel guilty enough to tell me, because guilt can eat u up and u will have to eventually get it out even if it does hurt somone....I just want to know also how can u tell if a guy is serious and not just telling youthing u just want to hear.

Let's put it another way. Why should you trust someone you apparently don't know very well? And how can you get to know him when you don't spend any significant amount of time with him? He may be honest and faithful or he may not, but right now, you really don't have any way of knowing. That's why I think LDRs really only work when the separation occurs after the relationship is well established.

And just for the record, some people can commit terrible acts without, apparetly, feeling any guilt. Psychologists call this "sociopathic," and the Bible calls it "being seared in their conscience." I'm not saying this applies to your BF at all, so please don't think that's what I mean. I'm just saying that if he did choose to date other girls, he wouldn't necessarily admit it to you, and he wouldn't necessarily even feel guilty. That's just how some people are.

 

[Fatolia]

Here's something to try: ask him to back off on the romantic dialogue. Talk about something that doesn't involve your exclusive relationship. There's plenty of time to explore that stuff later. Sure it's juicy now, but man, it'll be even juicer later if you wait. It's all about delayed gratification.

Once you get to know him better in a non-romantic sense, your eyes will be clearer to see if you could really trust this dude.