A question for heterosexuals

[Beanieboy]

Homosexuals are often accused of child molestation, or a heterosexual will bring up an underground, obscure group like NAMBLA as typical of all homosexuals.

That said, I find it quite interesting that no one talks much about heterosexuals men's fantasies. Some of them usually include:

Girls in Catholic High School Uniforms
Baby Doll dresses that make women look like little girls
Cheerleaders

These are all Under 18 fantasies.

Adding to this is women having no hair on their legs (shaved to look prepubescent) and even genitals. Women will even talk like babies.

It seems to me that there is a far greater acted out fetish of pedophilia, or at least simulated, in heterosexual men.

Why does that never bother other heterosexuals?

 

[angellica]

Most people, myself included, are bothered by that.

 

[Beanieboy]

Most people, myself included, are bothered by that.

Then why do most men have that fantasy?
Why do so many women "tawk wike a baby" when they are trying to be flirtatious?

 

[OphidiaPhile]

Most people, myself included, are bothered by that.

Either you live in a different world or men are not honest with you as it does not bother most men in the least and is a very common fantasy.

Many of the adult stores have just such clothing often even skimpier than normal so women can act out those fantasies for their partner.


[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]When a content analysis of these self-reported fantasies was conducted (Table; columns total more than 100 because categories are not mutually exclusive, from Wilson, 1987a) it became clear that the typical fantasies of men and women were quite different. By far the most common element in male fantasies was group sex or sex with two other women; for example, 'being tied to a bed with six or more naked women licking, kissing and fellating me'. Thirty-one per cent of men included elements of group sex in their fantasies; the equivalent figure for women was only 15 per cent (Wilson, 1987a).


[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Table Main elements of anonymously reported sexual fantasies (in percentages)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Fantasies[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Men
(N = 291)[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Women
(N = 409)[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Group sex[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]31[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]15[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Voyeuristic/fetishistic[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]18[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]7[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Steady partner incorporated[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]14[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]21[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Identified people (other than partner)[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]8[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]8[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Setting romantic/exotic[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]4[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]15[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Rape/force[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]4[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]13[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Sado-masochism[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]7[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]7[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]None[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]5[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]12[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]Everything[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]3[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]0[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]No answer[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]21[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]19[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, Univers, sans-serif]The second most common theme in the male fantasies could be described as visual or voyeuristic, referring to clothing such as black stockings and suspenders, sexy underwear, leather, or nurses' uniforms; for example, ''A sixteen-year-old virgin dressed in a short-skirted school uniform and who wears a hairband all the time'. Eighteen per cent of men had fetishistic elements like this in their favourite fantasy, but very few women did.
Other primarily male elements, perhaps related to the visual emphasis, were details of anatomy, reference to the age or race of the partner, and description of the sexual activity that was engaged in. Only very occasionally would women refer to anonymous physical characteristics such as the size of the man's penis, the hairiness of his chest or his ethnic origins.
The most common element in female fantasies was inclusion of the husband or current loved partner (21 per cent). Only 14 per cent of males admitted their wives or current partners into their favourite fantasies. The second typically female characteristic was reference to exotic, romantic settings such as islands, beaches, forests, fields, flowers, waterfalls, moonlight, space and heaven (15 per cent); for example, 'My man making love to me on a quiet beach in the moonlight with the waves lapping over us'. The partner was usually present in these settings, and several women mentioned freedom from distraction, often from children or telephone, as an important aspect. Only 4 per cent of male fantasies included romantic settings such as this.
[/FONT][/FONT]http://www.heretical.com/wilson/sfantasy.html

 

[OphidiaPhile]

The stranger knocks at the door. When the woman opens it, he pushes his way in, ties her up and rapes her—gently. That forced-sex fantasy, or something like it, is one of the most common sexual daydreams of American women. Masters and Johnson say it is second only to fantasizing about sex with a different partner. Author Nancy Friday, the diligent collector of female fantasies (My Secret Garden, Forbidden Flowers) says it is second to none.
The same kind of daydream may also be No. 1 among men. Friday's new collection of male fantasies, Men in Love (due next month from Delacorte), comes to the surprising conclusion that men generally prefer to fantasize about being subjugated by a powerful woman. Says Friday: "Ninetynine percent of the sadomasochistic fantasies were masochistic ones. Men just don't want to dominate women in their fantasies."


http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,921829,00.html






Top 10 Sex Fantasies for Men and Women
http://www.thirdage.com/sex/top-10-sex-fantasies-for-men-and-women

[SIZE=-1]Therapists who once viewed perverse sexual fantasies as the furtive compulsions of a lonely minority are seeing them in a new light, as more and more "normal" people report them in therapy and new studies suggest that even violent fantasies are surprisingly common.[/SIZE]
[FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif]...30 percent of men are sexually aroused by watching portrayals of physical violence against women, leading researchers to assume they fantasize about such violence... A study of college-age men found 12 percent had sexual fantasies involving children...[SIZE=-1]The new research is focusing on fantasies involving what most experts would call aberrant sexual acts, like bondage or cross-dressing, rather than more prosaic fantasies such as making love in an exotic locale or, perhaps the most popular fantasy among men and women alike, making love to someone other than one's partner.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]The new approach may be most controversial in seeing perverse fantasies as commonplace and in suggesting that this form of "perversion" is as common in women as in men.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Simply being aroused by a given fantasy is not necessarily a sign of perversion. Indeed, experts disagree on where normal sexuality ends andperversion begins.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]But the hallmark of all perverse fantasies, said Dr. Arnold Cooper, a Cornell University psychiatrist, is that the sexual partner is treated as "a nonperson, someone with no feelings."[/SIZE]




http://healthyplace.com/Communities/Sex/sexpsych/sexual_fantasies/perverse_fantasies.htm
[/FONT]

 

[gwenmead]

Why does that never bother other heterosexuals?

Well I tellya, the infantilization of women (sexual or otherwise) sure bothers the hell out of me. Frankly I find it downright creepy, especially when the context is sexual.

Probably why I'm more leather than lace, ifyaknowwhatI'msayin'.

 

[Washington]

Why does that never bother other heterosexuals?

Possibly because they regard themselves as sexually normal---not homosexual---so anything that excites them must be normal as well. Then when looking at homosexuality, which is not normal, they regard any corresponding behavior as also not normal. In effect, "If I do it it must be normal. If you do it must be abnormal.

 

[LaMandaRaye]

Some may not see it as problem, since after all they are still lusting after consenting adult women, and not little girls. No matter what you put on them they are still women.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

Some may not see it as problem, since after all they are still lusting after consenting adult women, and not little girls. No matter what you put on them they are still women.

Huh?

 

[LaMandaRaye]

Huh?

No one says anything because they are grown women in dress-up, and not actual little girls.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

No one says anything because they are grown women in dress-up, and not actual little girls.

I think his point is that the object of the fantasy is often an underage girl in a catholic school girl or cheerleader uniform.

And I will further that with it may be a woman acting out the fantasy but the man is still thinking about the underage girl.

 

[quatona]

Homosexuals are often accused of child molestation, or a heterosexual will bring up an underground, obscure group like NAMBLA as typical of all homosexuals.

That said, I find it quite interesting that no one talks much about heterosexuals men's fantasies. Some of them usually include:

Girls in Catholic High School Uniforms
Baby Doll dresses that make women look like little girls
Cheerleaders

These are all Under 18 fantasies.

Adding to this is women having no hair on their legs (shaved to look prepubescent) and even genitals. Women will even talk like babies.

It seems to me that there is a far greater acted out fetish of pedophilia, or at least simulated, in heterosexual men.

Why does that never bother other heterosexuals?

Your point is not quite clear to me. You are comparing child abuse (that which - as you say - homosexuals are accused of) with underage fantasies of heterosexuals.
Personally, I am bothered by child abuse (no matter what sexual orientation the perpetrator) and I am not bothered by other persons´ sexual fantasies (no matter what sexual orientation they are).

However, what the typical or predominant sexual fantasies are tells us a lot about our societies.

 

[Oneofthediaspora]

Then why do most men have that fantasy?

Most men?
Can you back this claim up with some figures?

 

[CreedIsChrist]

Homosexuals are often accused of child molestation, or a heterosexual will bring up an underground, obscure group like NAMBLA as typical of all homosexuals.

That said, I find it quite interesting that no one talks much about heterosexuals men's fantasies. Some of them usually include:

Girls in Catholic High School Uniforms
Baby Doll dresses that make women look like little girls
Cheerleaders

These are all Under 18 fantasies.

Adding to this is women having no hair on their legs (shaved to look prepubescent) and even genitals. Women will even talk like babies.

It seems to me that there is a far greater acted out fetish of pedophilia, or at least simulated, in heterosexual men.

Why does that never bother other heterosexuals?

I agree, except for the shaving thing. Shaving is done because hair is generally seen as a masculine trait and femeninity is seen as soft and smooth(hence getting rid of hair)


Youth is a very coveted thing in todays society also. Youth suggests fertility and attraction hence why guys seem to gravitate towards youthful women(just as masculinity, big muscles, attracts women because it is seen as alpha male) . Also the media flaunts sexualized images of young "schoolgirls"(90210, baywatch, Degrassi, etc) and other soap operas which get into psyche of alot of young men today. But the only straight answer I can give are people are attracted to youth because it suggests fertility(curves suggest child bearing hips, big muscles suggest protection, youth suggests health and strength and thus ensuring a higher rate of survival of the offspring)(survival of the fittest wired in us). Younger women are more prone to give birth to more healthy babys.

 

[cantata]

While the infantilisation of women is troubling to me, I am not one to particularly condemn any sexual fantasy. I have fantasies against which my feminist ideals rebel very strongly. But I have to remind myself that a) cultural conditioning has put them there, and b) they are just fantasies.

By the way, for better or worse, a lot of women (I am ashamed to say, myself included) enjoy being infantalised in some ways. It's not all men. But I do think this is a feminist issue, because ultimately if a woman has to wear a bow in her hair to feel sexually in control, there are problems there which need to be addressed.

 

[Tenka]

Also the media flaunts sexualized images of young "schoolgirls"(90210, baywatch, Degrassi, etc)

What year are you living in ?

 

[OphidiaPhile]

What year are you living in ?

You beat me to that one.

 

[trunks2k]

I think there's an important line to draw between pedophilia (which I'd label as child molestation) and having sex with a minor.

I'd argue that the taboo about not having sex with someone under 18 is entirely cultural. On purely a biological level, the end result of puberty is physical signals that scream "I'm young, healthy, and fertile!" So it should come as no surprise that men find teenagers sexually attractive as youth, health, and vitality is, again on a purely biological level, is more important to males than females. As such, the biological drive is suppressed by the cultural taboo, resulting in the biological drive manifesting itself via various sexual fantasies that emphasize youth.

Our culture has instituted additional criteria for choosing a potential mate that makes having sex with someone significantly younger socially unacceptable. It is likely a good thing that such a taboo exists for various reasons. But it wasn't too long ago that we saw no problem with a much older man marrying 14 year old girl.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

I think there's an important line to draw between pedophilia (which I'd label as child molestation) and having sex with a minor.

I'd argue that the taboo about not having sex with someone under 18 is entirely cultural. On purely a biological level, the end result of puberty is physical signals that scream "I'm young, healthy, and fertile!" So it should come as no surprise that men find teenagers sexually attractive as youth, health, and vitality is, again on a purely biological level, is more important to males than females. As such, the biological drive is suppressed by the cultural taboo, resulting in the biological drive manifesting itself via various sexual fantasies that emphasize youth.

Our culture has instituted additional criteria for choosing a potential mate that makes having sex with someone significantly younger socially unacceptable. It is likely a good thing that such a taboo exists for various reasons. But it wasn't too long ago that we saw no problem with a much older man marrying 14 year old girl.

I am very strange it would seem because for me the single biggest turn on is pure unadulterated intelligence, I like a woman that is ridiculously smart and carry on an actual conversation.

 

[geekgirlkelli]

I am very strange it would seem because for me the single biggest turn on is pure unadulterated intelligence, I like a woman that is ridiculously smart and carry on an actual conversation.

>Raises hand<

Hehe, I'm attracted to the same thing. In a guy, someone who is really smart and maybe a bit geeky, very gentle yet able to be strong when need be, and not a hint of machoism. I've yet to meet such a man so I don't know if they actually exist.

In a woman, I prefer brains over looks. A girl's gotta be smart. I dated a lesbian who was cute and had a great body, but quite frankly she was dumb as a box of rocks and she drove me nuts. I also can't stand a woman who is overtly feminine, in fact I have a fondness for dykes that have a certain feminine cuteness to them. I can't stand overtly dykey dykes (uber-butch) either. The feminine element has to be there.

>looks up with a dreamy smile and sighs<