- Jan 23, 2005
- 40,206
- 19,383
- 57
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Democrat
A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE AIRPORT, WAITING FOR HER FLIGHT TO CHICAGO. SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES THAT TELLS FORTUNES... SHE THOUGHT "I'LL GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME."
SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT HER NICKEL IN -- OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, AND YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO."
THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN AND TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY GIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. BUT IT SAID 'NUN.' THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT. SHE DECIDED TO TRY AGA IN AND WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE, PUT A NICKEL IN -- AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE." THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, "I KNOW THAT IS WRONG, I HAVE NEVER PLAYED A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE."
SHE SAT BACK DOWN. FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER AND SAT DOWN HE PUT HIS FIDDLE CASE ON THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM. WITHOUT THINKING THE NUN OPENED THE COWBOY'S CASE,TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE AND STARTED PLAYING
BEAUTIFUL MUSIC. SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE MACHINE, THINKING, "THIS IS INCREDIBLE."
SO BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND GOT ANOTHER CARD. IT SAID, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND."
NOW SHE KNOWS THE MACHINE IS WRONG. "I'VE NEVER BROKEN WIND IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE." BUT AS SHE GOT OFF THE MACHINE SHE SLIPPED -- AS SHE STRAINED TO KEEP FROM FALLING TO THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND.
ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND L OOKED AT THE MACHINE IN AWE. "THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE. I'VE GOT TO TRY IT AGAIN ONE MORE TIME."
SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE, PUT IN A NICKEL, AND A CARD
CAME OUT: "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, AND NOW YOU HAVE FIDDLED AND FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CHICAGO."
SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT HER NICKEL IN -- OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, AND YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO."
THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN AND TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY GIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. BUT IT SAID 'NUN.' THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT. SHE DECIDED TO TRY AGA IN AND WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE, PUT A NICKEL IN -- AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE." THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, "I KNOW THAT IS WRONG, I HAVE NEVER PLAYED A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE."
SHE SAT BACK DOWN. FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER AND SAT DOWN HE PUT HIS FIDDLE CASE ON THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM. WITHOUT THINKING THE NUN OPENED THE COWBOY'S CASE,TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE AND STARTED PLAYING
BEAUTIFUL MUSIC. SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE MACHINE, THINKING, "THIS IS INCREDIBLE."
SO BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND GOT ANOTHER CARD. IT SAID, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND."
NOW SHE KNOWS THE MACHINE IS WRONG. "I'VE NEVER BROKEN WIND IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE." BUT AS SHE GOT OFF THE MACHINE SHE SLIPPED -- AS SHE STRAINED TO KEEP FROM FALLING TO THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND.
ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND L OOKED AT THE MACHINE IN AWE. "THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE. I'VE GOT TO TRY IT AGAIN ONE MORE TIME."
SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE, PUT IN A NICKEL, AND A CARD
CAME OUT: "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, AND NOW YOU HAVE FIDDLED AND FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CHICAGO."
