Ummm....there are a lot of families that kiss each other on the mouth. They just don't linger or french kiss.
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If that is what she actually believes she sounds like a charming soul. If only I encountered more meek souls like that.
She doesn’t sound too Amish to me. Does one kiss one’s sister on the mouth? Obviously no. We are supposed to see our fellow Christians as brothers and sisters. Romantic intimacy before holy matrimony is a source of temptation.
If that is what she actually believes she sounds like a charming soul.In all my life, I have never met a Christian like this one. We went out one time, spent the day together, had a nice time. We had met at a Church singles group (this was a good while ago, just pontificated this).
I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm begrudging her for believing this. But I was like "Really?!"
She reveals to me that she never plans on kissing anyone until her wedding day. I looked at her like she had 2-heads and asked her why, since it's not a sin.
And she said something about wanting to keep that day special.
Anyways, it didn't work out, for obvious reasons, as we did not align in our beliefs in that area. Just like I don't align with Christians that won't date a person that likes to have a beer on occasion, but the no kissing before marriage was a new one.
I shared this with my Christian friends, and they too, were shocked at this. We theorized it was just that she feared intimacy and was using her religion as an excuse to not get physical. Basically, she was just shy and it had nothing to do with God. That something may be a little off about that person if they sincerely believe this.
I mean, I want to meet a Christian woman, but with that, I tend to encounter these kinds of experiences. It's like they want to live a Amish lifestyle or something?
Sinful thoughts lead to sinful actions. Sin is corruption. It’s a sickness. Sure, lust enters our mind living in modern society. We must let these thoughts drift away as a passenger jet soars over us in the sky and disappears. As soon as we begin to indulge these thoughts and enjoy them, we have allowed the corruption to enter us and change us.Since its not a sin for a couple to kiss and its not a sin for them not to kiss. I'd say God has left it upto the couple to decide whether to kiss or not.
There is nothing in the Bible that I know of that says that anyone shoudn't think about sex. Mat.5:28 is about adultery not about thinking about sex. The context for Jesus' comments is Jesus' comments about the 10 commandments. When Jesus say a man isn't to look at another woman its in His comments about adultery. Now adultery in patriarchal societies in Biblical times it taking another man's wife. So Jesus is saying if a man looks at another man's wife and covets her, he has taken another man's wife in his heart. This is how Jesus' comments would have been understood by His audience that day. So this verse doesn't really apply to a couple dating in my mind.
people have their preferences, but there's definitely ways to affirm romantic interest that don't involve physical touch.
Treat those Christian women who are not your wife as you would treat your sister, that’s my point.Ummm....there are a lot of families that kiss each other on the mouth. They just don't linger or french kiss.
If that is what she actually believes she sounds like a charming soul.
Sinful thoughts lead to sinful actions. Sin is corruption. It’s a sickness. Sure, lust enters our mind living in modern society. We must let these thoughts drift away as a passenger jet soars over us in the sky and disappears. As soon as we begin to indulge these thoughts and enjoy them, we have allowed the corruption to enter us and change us.
Matt 5:28 means what it says, my friend.
Would your behavior differ with interactions in person? Would some form of physical intimacy occur? Hand holding, hugs, etc.
~Bella
Indeed on that last bit. Nothing we can do will ever pay back the sacrifice Our Lord made for us on the cross. However it is sound wisdom to avoid lustful thoughts and definitely the domino effect that can lead to actions. As Our Lord said to the adulterer: go and sin no more. Sometimes the thoughts are unwanted and it is unclear whether we have sinned, but prayer and constant willingness to seek repentance is vital in any case.A person can have sinful thoughts without them turning into sinful actions. And it isn't a "sickness" but but rather a choice. Sin is our nature. How we react to sinful thoughts and ideas is how we exercise our Christian beliefs. No man is pure of heart since we are all sinful by nature. It is through Jesus' sacrifice that we are saved, not by anything we do or don't do.
Indeed on that last bit. Nothing we can do will ever pay back the sacrifice Our Lord made for us on the cross. However it is sound wisdom to avoid lustful thoughts and definitely the domino effect that can lead to actions. As Our Lord said to the adulterer: go and sin no more. Sometimes the thoughts are unwanted and it is unclear whether we have sinned, but prayer and constant willingness to seek repentance is vital in any case.
I believe that putting less emphasis premarital touch, and more on compatibility and respect are likely to lead to more longer lasting marriages than our modern culture seems to have at present.
I believe that putting less emphasis premarital touch, and more on compatibility and respect are likely to lead to more longer lasting marriages than our modern culture seems to have at present.
Agreed ... but there is no way to avoid lustful thoughts if you have an active conscious. Thoughts just appear. This is another thing that those who see the Bible as black and white miss. It is what we do when a sinful thought comes to mind that is at stake and demonstrates our Christianity...do we dwell on it and continue to think about it...or do we change our thoughts and actions to follow the example of Christ. To notice a woman you are not married to is sexually attractive is not sinful. To continue to think sexual thoughts about her is sinful. To have sexual thoughts about your wife (or husband) and continue to think those thoughts and even act on them is in God's plan and is good.
Indeed, often those who are willing to throw in the towel on a bad marriage do not remember that God has blessed the holy union. God often allows good people to suffer for seemingly no reason but it is God who sees all not man. Even if two people are not 'compatible', God has put them together for a reason.Physical touch isn’t the reason marriages fail. The majority end over compatibility issues that are seen through a temporal guise. They gauge the strength of the connection on who they are today without realizing much of that will change with time, maturity, and challenges. When it happens they’re disheartened and ready to throw in the towel.
Their pledge wasn’t for better or worse. It was for the duration of things remaining as is.
Holiness is the goal of marriage. We’ve put happiness and personal fulfillment in its place.
Sanctification is dependent on submission to the Lord. Your surrender to Him is what enables you to stay the course with your spouse. Christ can overcome absences of love, respect, admiration, etc. Nothing is too hard for Him.
Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion. And if you WILL to love somebody, you can. —Ravi Zacharias
The ‘will’ hails from God.
~Bella
Physical touch isn’t the reason marriages fail. The majority end over compatibility issues that are seen through a temporal guise. They gauge the strength of the connection on who they are today without realizing much of that will change with time, maturity, and challenges. When it happens they’re disheartened and ready to throw in the towel.
Their pledge wasn’t for better or worse. It was for the duration of things remaining as is.
Holiness is the goal of marriage. We’ve put happiness and personal fulfillment in its place.
Sanctification is dependent on submission to the Lord. Your surrender to Him is what enables you to stay the course with your spouse. Christ can overcome absences of love, respect, admiration, etc. Nothing is too hard for Him.
Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion. And if you WILL to love somebody, you can. —Ravi Zacharias
The ‘will’ hails from God.
~Bella
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Indeed, often those who are willing to throw in the towel on a bad marriage do not remember that God has blessed the holy union. God often allows good people to suffer for seemingly no reason but it is God who sees all not man. Even if two people are not 'compatible', God has put them together for a reason.
if she was okay with hand-holding, hugs, or kisses, maybe. if she had boundaries against doing such things before marriage i'd be totally fine with that. she would already have shown me that romantic interest is there. I don't have an issue with waiting until marriage for such things.Would your behavior differ with interactions in person? Would some form of physical intimacy occur? Hand holding, hugs, etc.
~Bella
Even if two people are not 'compatible', God has put them together for a reason.
I don’t understand your question. I just mean suffering is not always a bad thing. Perhaps it is God tutoring us on the path to true humility which is a gift from Him.Do you not believe that two people can put themselves together without the blessing of God? This does not mean that God cannot or will not make something worthwhile out of that marriage but it does not mean that He is going to celebrate and bless a marriage that He wasn't God of. We live the consequences of the choices we make. And even Christians are not immune from consequences even after repenting.
I don’t understand your question. I just mean suffering is not always a bad thing. Perhaps it is God tutoring us on the path to true humility which is a gift from Him.
Compatibility assumes constancy and that contradicts the reality that God may alter the thing we’re depending on. Now what?
A living sacrifice doesn’t pick and choose what He sanctifies. That’s His choice. We surrender to the process.
Compatibility isn’t a guarantee.
~Bella
Suffering in general is allowed by God because it offers lessons if we are willing to learn. I don’t believe in predestination, but when two people marry within the Church they are bound together by God in the holy matrimony. Man cannot unbind what God has bound together. Marriage is for the purpose of avoiding immorality and the corruption of the soul, not suffering in itself. I was speaking though to those in bad marriages who suffer much - they are in these marriages for a reason and should not lose faith.I believe people get married every day based on their own earthly desires and not on their desire to marry within God's will. Just because two people are married does not mean that they are seeking or following God's plan. I do not believe God designed marriage to teach lessons in suffering. Life comes with suffering, so no marriage is without it...but I do not believe that is a reason to get married...and it oftens means others also have to suffer innocently as you are learning your lesson.
I don't think it is a Christian marriage that lacks respect, compatibility, and Christian love.
God commands a man to love his wife as he loves himself. God commands a woman to respect her husband. They are to submit to each other.
It is a partnership that should not be taken likely. Finding yourself in a bad marriage is less likely if you have actually invested in the relationship before the "I do".
Nothing is too hard for God but that does not mean that marriage is something to be entered into lightly.
And love is much more than just a choice. That does not mean you should marry someone and connect yourself to for life just because you decide to "love" them. And choosing to love someone, doesn't fix all the problems of a marriage.
Too many modern relationships are based on pre-marital touch and how the other person makes a person "feel"("Love conquers all" mentality)...so yes, those marriages do fail when those feelings fade and they find out they don't feel the same way about their spouse without those physical and emotional feelings.
Mature love comes from having a good relationship separate from those initial feelings and actually can be the foundation for more developed physical relationship...which is a part of a Christian marriage.
While I do believe that nothing is impossible for God, I also believe that we often find ourselves in situations where we entered them without God and that God doesn't always save us from bad decisions. God walks with us during these times and situations but that does not mean that God blesses the situation.
I consider picking a spouse to be a significant decision that should not be taken lightly or based on physical feelings.
And I think that if you are not bound to a godly spouse as a woman, the call to submit can mean serving two masters without the same goal. When your spouse calls for you to do something that goes against your Christian beliefs, whom do you chose to follow?
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