A List of Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:

• Let's see, the hip bone's connected to the what again?
• This lung looks more like an intestine, the poor guy.
• Dang, that page of the manual is missing.
• Quick, call an ambulance.
• *woozily* I think you gave the shot to the wrong pers....
• A live cadaveor, how cool is that.
• I learned this from David Copperfield.
• Seriously, lets see how long small intestine really is.
• Okay, once I connect this red thing here to this other red thing. Oh great, now it's all red.
• Hmm. Uh. Hmm. Are his eyes supposed to be opening already?
• What is that annoying beeping sound? Oh good, it's stopped.
• "Clear" - "but doctor, your reseting his leg." - "I said Clear."
• Well, we don't have any sponges, but Brawny is supposed to be better anyway.
• Oh crud, I dropped the scalpel again. Hand me that pocket knife.
• Smile, your on candid camera.
• Ever get the feeling you've done this before? Me neither.
• Gloves? I'm supposed to be wearing gloves? Now you tell me.
• Why is he twitching like that?
• I think.. I .. forgot to ...take..my.. seizure... meds.. again....
• Narca...................lepsy is a serious.......prob....lem............for me.
• Half way done and no cheer leaders. This job stinks.
• You did remember to collect in advance I hope.
• Tell his wife that I love her and I'll be home, wait, never mind he'll be fine.
• A priest? A bit early aren't, nope, just in time.
• How many of these spongy air sack things is he supposed to have again?
• What do you mean it's the wrong patient? His thorax is completely, wow, I guess it shouldn't be in the stomach anyway.
• Um, did you say Tea time or Tee time?
• I gotta go. No really, I really gotta... never mind. Sponge please.

bill'swife said:

• Oops!
• Has anyone seen my watch?
• Come back with that! Bad Dog!
• Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what's that?
• Hand me that ... uh ... that uh ... thingy
• There go the lights again ...
• Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
• Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
• What do you mean, he's not insured?
• FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

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