A hurting heart

[Ace99]

Anyone can answer this question but I am interested from any woman, who can answer I ended a relationship with a younger woman two years ago, I went into another relationship with a older woman and everything went wrong, I know feel that both were wrong but I still am grieving for the younger one because I did love her but I couldn't express it properly, after going through a hurtful marriage, I really struggled with trust and I hurt the younger woman, I'm deeply sorry for hurting her but her age, was in truth something I couldn't handle see she was 21 and I was 33, she liked going dancing and having friends over but I had done all that with my wife and struggled to keep the relationship going, ( I'm sorry for going on) my question is this as a thirty six year old man I want to have a relationship with a woman but how old, see I want to have children and I want to be able to talk about things with her and for her to understand where I'm coming from, for example not going clubbing, having things in common, what kind of age range should I be looking for, I don't want to make this mistake again, I don't know when the best time it is for a woman to have children and when they can have children to, plus if possible I would like two, what age woman would be best. I am very grateful for any help at all on this matter

 

[anewday]

Maybe you need to give yourself time to heal, since you are hurting. It sounds like you need to meet someone closer to your age, who can relate to things that you relate to. I'm afraid I'll never get married or have children and although I feel like I'm past an ideal age for both, I'd rather wait until I'm ready. I've heard that its dangerous for women to have children past their mid-thirties, but I also know that know matter what we plan, God usually has different plans for us. I'm sorry you are going through so much .

 

[Ace99]

I do have to say that my heart broke to hear you say that you think you will never get married at 33, if you are interested I will send you my testimony, though it is quite long it is brutally honest and although there is a lot of pain in it, it shows that god can work through anyone or any circumstance no matter how hard, as I said before I'm 36 and I'm hoping to get married, I know it must be hard but maybe there is something in your life, that needs to change before you marry, for instance god would never give me a wife at the moment because I would hurt her, not that I would mean to but my behaviours still need working on before I can fully treat one of gods precious daughters right. I would never say to you, that you will marry because that would not be right, only god knows that no human knows what god intends for your life, but my sister has been single for sixteen years, she basically put it into her head that god intended her not to marry until one day he said to her, I didn't tell you, you would never marry. She still isn't married but I believe things still need to be changed in her life, but please ask god, do you want me to marry someone, get it straight from god, then you will know one way or another, there is still time if God wills. I will pray for you, I know how hard this is, so if you ever want to talk you can
Pm me. God bless you.

 

[anewday]

Thanks, yeah, PM me your testimony. I would talk to God but I barely do anymore since I'm very angry with Him for various reasons.

 

[hugnluvable]

Hi there. I met my husband via internet dating (Christian Connection). I was 27 and he was 37. We had and still have the same humour and interests as each other.

I'm 30 and he is 40 now and we have the most wonderful little 5 month old boy.

Hubby was on the verge of giving up the dream of marrying and having kids altogether and I was doubtful anyone else would take me after a divorce (from a horrible relationship that ended because of the other party's adultery). It just goes to show that God is good and good things happen in his good timing.

To me the age gap wasnt a huge issue. When I first met him he really didnt come across as that much older than me. But to be fair in my opnion once you hit a certain age then it doesn't make alot of difference just as long as your life ideals and the way you like to spend your free time compliment each others.

Hope thats of some use to you

 

[mj0214]

Praying for you! She will come around when you least expect it

 

[Ace99]

Thank you for all your lovely replies, the enemy has been really hitting me with being single, kind of saying that I have to make a choice God or a wife, it's been so upsetting because I haven't even known at times it was the enemy, it felt like God has been telling me to do this. But I don't think God works that way, he knows I love him with everything I have but I have really strong desires for a wife and child, desires which I hope are from him. Thanks again for all your replies a very happy new year to all my brothers and sisters, hoping for a lovely new year for all.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hi,

just to encourage you about getting a wife from God. I spent the first 30 years of my life plagued by rejection. Every relationship I attempted failed. It go so bad I actually thought about committing suicide. But in the end God actually spoke to me and showed me a person I could marry. It turned out to be a good lead, we went out dating, and got on well. We both got married, and now we have a very happy and satisfying relationship. God can certainly find you some one it is not hard for him. My story about how God helped me is recorded half way down my personal website at Know God Personally

 

[Ace99]

Thanks future and a hope, I know I'm not ready yet for a wife as I'm undergoing recovery, but I hope to have one in my life soon but I really don't know what God wants and that's the problem, I really want a wife and child but if God doesn't then I will have to give that dream up, but he won't tell me at the moment, and it's the waiting that's the upsetting thing, I just wish he would talk to me, I have been hit with the fact that God wants me to be single quite powerfully, but also I was hit with the fact I have been given a wife and child equally as powerfully but which does he want, I wish he would speak to me the last thing I want is to be single but I will do anything for him and follow him to the end of the earth. It's just so frustrating, thanks for listening.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Thanks future and a hope, I know I'm not ready yet for a wife as I'm undergoing recovery, but I hope to have one in my life soon but I really don't know what God wants and that's the problem, I really want a wife and child but if God doesn't then I will have to give that dream up, but he won't tell me at the moment, and it's the waiting that's the upsetting thing, I just wish he would talk to me, I have been hit with the fact that God wants me to be single quite powerfully, but also I was hit with the fact I have been given a wife and child equally as powerfully but which does he want, I wish he would speak to me the last thing I want is to be single but I will do anything for him and follow him to the end of the earth. It's just so frustrating, thanks for listening.

Hi,

I believe that God is saying it is your choice. He wants you to choose which of the two you want. I found in getting married that I could not minister for God as successfully as I had done without a wife, this is because my wife although a Christian does not always agree with me doing God stuff, she likes to do family things. So the choice before you is do you want the companionship, or have you already experienced all you need from marriage. If I ever found myself single again I don't think I would remarry, as I would have liberty to do as I please. But the choice is yours, God is not more pleased with either choice. He will not get angry if you marry, he is not putting you to a test. It is just your choice, when you make the choice God will help you fulfill the vision you have chosen. He will also have pleasure in it, he will not make you feel guilty, or strip you of blessings for making a wrong choice, there is no wrong choice.

 

[Ace99]

To future and a hope, The thing is I really want to get married, oh how I wish I had come to him earlier, I wish I was 20 or even younger, that I could dedicate my life to spending a good ten years for him, solely giving him everything I have to follow him, and then be married but I can't change the past, I want to teach for The Lord, I want to further enhance his kingdom, but I feel it would help if I had a wife, plus yes it is my desire to have a wife and a child. So if I get a choice I choose a wife and hopefully a child, I just don't want to let him down, I want his will to be done, he is my father I love him, his will be done. Thank you for your comment, if he grants me a wish, it would be wonderful I'll keep you posted.

 

[Meadows1024]

Hi there. I met my husband via internet dating (Christian Connection). I was 27 and he was 37. We had and still have the same humour and interests as each other.

I'm 30 and he is 40 now and we have the most wonderful little 5 month old boy.

Hubby was on the verge of giving up the dream of marrying and having kids altogether and I was doubtful anyone else would take me after a divorce (from a horrible relationship that ended because of the other party's adultery). It just goes to show that God is good and good things happen in his good timing.

To me the age gap wasnt a huge issue. When I first met him he really didnt come across as that much older than me. But to be fair in my opnion once you hit a certain age then it doesn't make alot of difference just as long as your life ideals and the way you like to spend your free time compliment each others.

Hope thats of some use to you

That's so cool! My husband is 40 and I am 30 as well. We were married when we were 37 and 28.

Anyways, Ace99, I think you are putting too much emphasis on the age factor here. Quit fretting on age. You want children, so you obviously want a woman who wants children as well, and is able to give you some. Let God be your guide this time, if he's not part of your relationship, it will never work.

 

[Ace99]

Thank-you everyone I'm trying put it all down and let God lead the way but it's so hard.Anyway thank you for all you replys God bless you all