Here's a couple of good, relatively clean Christian jokes I've heard in my years, though I apologize if they've been posted before... there's a LOT of threads and posts here that I couldn't possibly read through all of them, lol.
This first one if a bit of a dumb blonde joke a friend of mine told me... there once was a small-town community, where all the houses and the church were in one area. One Sunday morning, the preacher is walking to church, to prepare for worship, when he sees his blonde neighbor outside her house. He bids her good morning, and asks if she will be attending service this morning, to which she says she can't, because she has a cornbread in the oven, and she doesn't want to leave it un-attended. The preacher assures her there's nothing to worry about, for God will watch her cornbread for her. Comforted by that thought, she gets ready, and comes to church for the service, the service the preacher delivers for the day is about how God is everywhere with us. "In fact," he says, "He's sitting with each and every one of us in this church, as I speak." The blonde jumped up from her pew, "I thought you said He was at home watching my cornbread!"
This next one is one that our preacher actually told us during service one morning. It's a dark, stormy night on Earth, and Satan feels like stirring up trouble. So saying, he rises to the Earth, and makes his way through a small town, where just the sight of him sends people fleeing in fear. He revels in this, as he goes about town, scaring people for the fun of it, having a good time at the expense of people's fear. Finally, he comes to a church, figuring he'll really have some fun scaring people there. He enters the church, and when people see him, they are terrified. He marches down the alter, scaring people, and driving them clear out of the church in panicked hoards. He chuckles as he makes it to the front of the church, but is confused when he sees one lone person still sitting in the sanctuary, seemingly unphased. He walks over to the man and scares him. Nothing. He tries scaring him again. Nothing. Satan is confused, and asks this man, "Why aren't you scared? Do you even know who I am?" The man looks up at him and responds, "Of course I do, I've been married to your sister for 15 years!"
This first one if a bit of a dumb blonde joke a friend of mine told me... there once was a small-town community, where all the houses and the church were in one area. One Sunday morning, the preacher is walking to church, to prepare for worship, when he sees his blonde neighbor outside her house. He bids her good morning, and asks if she will be attending service this morning, to which she says she can't, because she has a cornbread in the oven, and she doesn't want to leave it un-attended. The preacher assures her there's nothing to worry about, for God will watch her cornbread for her. Comforted by that thought, she gets ready, and comes to church for the service, the service the preacher delivers for the day is about how God is everywhere with us. "In fact," he says, "He's sitting with each and every one of us in this church, as I speak." The blonde jumped up from her pew, "I thought you said He was at home watching my cornbread!"
This next one is one that our preacher actually told us during service one morning. It's a dark, stormy night on Earth, and Satan feels like stirring up trouble. So saying, he rises to the Earth, and makes his way through a small town, where just the sight of him sends people fleeing in fear. He revels in this, as he goes about town, scaring people for the fun of it, having a good time at the expense of people's fear. Finally, he comes to a church, figuring he'll really have some fun scaring people there. He enters the church, and when people see him, they are terrified. He marches down the alter, scaring people, and driving them clear out of the church in panicked hoards. He chuckles as he makes it to the front of the church, but is confused when he sees one lone person still sitting in the sanctuary, seemingly unphased. He walks over to the man and scares him. Nothing. He tries scaring him again. Nothing. Satan is confused, and asks this man, "Why aren't you scared? Do you even know who I am?" The man looks up at him and responds, "Of course I do, I've been married to your sister for 15 years!"
