A Baptist joke

[Glenn316]

The Baptist

A story:

I was walking across a bridge recently. I spied this guy who looked
Like he was ready to jump off. So, I thought I'd try to stall him until
the Authorities showed up (or at least until I had time to put film in my
Camera). Don't jump I said.

Why not? he said. Nobody loves me.

God loves you, I said. You believe in God, don't you?

Yes, I believe in God, he said.

Good, I said. Are you Christian or Jewish?

Christian, he said.

Me, too I said. Protestant or Catholic?

Protestant, he said.

Me, too I said. What kind of Protestant?

Baptist, he said.

Me too, I said. Independent Baptist, American Baptist, or Southern
Baptist?
Independent Baptist, he said.

Me too I said. New Evangelical/Moderate Independent Baptist or
Conservative Independent Baptist?

Conservative Independent Baptist, he said.

Me too I said. Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or
Lose-Your-Salvation Armenian Conservative Independent Baptist?

Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist, he said.

Me, too I said. Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative
Independent Baptist or Historical Premillennial Calvinistic
Conservative Independent Baptist?

Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist, he said.

Me, too I said. Against Women in Ministry Dispensational
Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or For Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist?

Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic
Conservative Independent Baptist, he said.

Me, too I said. Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry
Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist or Strict Separation of Church and State Against Women in Ministry
Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist?

Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational
Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist, he said.

Me, too I said. Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist
Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic
Conservative Independent Baptist or Anti-Disney Boycott Pro-Choice
Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?

Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in
Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist, he said.

Me, too I said. KJV Only Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed
Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial
Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Modern Versions
Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist?

MODERN VERSIONS Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist
Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic
Conservative Independent Baptist he said.

Auugghh! You heretic!!! I screamed. And I threw him off the bridge.

 

[nChrist]

  This is almost reality.

 

[IamThatHero]

funny :lol

 

[paulewog]

hehe

Other than the fact that I could almost be one of those two people..

/me giggles

 

[Susan]

I've heard it before, but I laugh every time I see it.

 

[IamThatHero]

wanted to add...

I emailed this to my husband (who grew up very Southern Baptist) and he loved it... came out of his office here at home laughing and telling me how funny it was.

 

[kimmee]

that was funny