.

ewq1938 · May 30, 2017

How long has it been?

teresa · May 30, 2017

pdudgeon · May 30, 2017

ewq1938 said:
How long has it been?

the answer to that question is always two fold;
1. the first response is always 'too long'' because the pain of the loss is still here.
2. the second response is "longer than I could have ever thought possible." because continuous pain and grief take many forms, but they all have one root cause: irreplaceable loss.

Far Side Of the Moon · May 30, 2017

Jhene Aiko W.A.Y.S.

The name ways( why aren't u smiling ) was the last thing her brother tweeted before he passed of brain cancer....which makes the song a bit more powerful to me.

Humble me Lord · May 30, 2017

I like it

teresa · May 30, 2017

ewq1938 · May 30, 2017

pdudgeon said:
the answer to that question is always two fold;
1. the first response is always 'too long'' because the pain of the loss is still here.
2. the second response is "longer than I could have ever thought possible." because continuous pain and grief take many forms, but they all have one root cause: irreplaceable loss.

Sorry to hear.

blackribbon · May 30, 2017

There are a few songs that I believe are his love song to me. One that he told me about when we got married. The first song we danced to after we got married. One that my young daughter told me that daddy said was about him/us after he died (I am glad she wasn't old enough to understand the real message of the song <blush>), and one that it seems that fate force me to sit down and listen to after he died.

Last verse:

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

teresa · May 31, 2017

teresa · May 31, 2017

You took my life with you
Took my world with you

pdudgeon · May 31, 2017

u2spicy said:
You took my life with you
Took my world with youView attachment 198118

been there, felt that.
yep, that's exactly how it is.

teresa · May 31, 2017

blackribbon · May 31, 2017

u2spicy said:
yes, hon, you take your time....he will meet you on the other side

he'll be waiting on that bench

when you're finally ready

and you'll be looking real pretty

(tears)

Problem is that I'm lost without him.

teresa · May 31, 2017

blackribbon · May 31, 2017

u2spicy said:
can you write a song or lyrics or a poem about how you feel?

Can you draw what you feel?

or pick an image online and write about what that image represents to you?

to focus on that side of my sadness isn't very healthy for me ...

teresa · May 31, 2017

teresa · May 31, 2017

blackribbon · May 31, 2017

Depends on what the definition of "healed" is.

I do find talking to other widows/widowers has been my biggest help but my two favorite forums for "young" widow/ders have gone away. The rest of the world doesn't seem to "get it" and for some reason thinks that "healing" looks like getting over a "ex", so getting to the point where you don't think about them anymore. I don't know that we ever get to that point...only to the point where we stop talking about our emotions and feelings because nobody wants to hear about them anymore.

.

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