:(

[Jo1]

yes today i can truely declare that i HATE myself.
I HATE my life especially my non-exsistent church life.
I feel so disapointed and hurt, its been like this for years..
I HATE depression,. why should today be any different.
im posting here again and i just really feel so with myself.
yes i feel low real low,

 

[AWorkInProgress]

heya babe,

Nah you are slowly maturing. One babystep at a time. Can't expect a child to behave like an adult off the bat. Have to allow yourself take risks and stumble. Get back up and keep trying. This is how you grow.

This self hate, caused by impatience in you and people around you. Hate and fustration slowly become self defeating. This is the will or design of your sinful nature. It is using impatiences, fustration, fear, and anger to stop or reverse all the growth you have done so far.

Give your fear and worries to God Jo. Also take the tools of negitivity away from your sinful nature. You are wonderful child of God, and just going to take some time to claim your victorious life. Be patience because you are a reborn child of christ.

Also you must learn to forgive yourself and these people at church. They might be slaves to their sinful nature, I dont really know. If you keep all that anguish inside you will never be free, that is why you must forgive them. And forgive yourself, because you are still growing.

Please meditate or ponder on my words Jo. Keep faith in our Great father and Hope he will get you thru this.

 

[lmarie23]

yes today i can truely declare that i HATE myself.
I HATE my life especially my non-exsistent church life.
I feel so disapointed and hurt, its been like this for years..
I HATE depression,. why should today be any different.
im posting here again and i just really feel so with myself.
yes i feel low real low

Jo, i'm sorry you feel so low... I wish you didn't hate your life but I don't have the magic words to make it stop. did something happen today that made you feel this way particularly? this afternoon's been kind of rough for me too.

Lynne

 

[Jo1]

Jo, i'm sorry you feel so low... I wish you didn't hate your life but I don't have the magic words to make it stop. did something happen today that made you feel this way particularly? this afternoon's been kind of rough for me too.

Lynne

hi imarie23 bless you for writin. sorry yove had a bad afternoon too.
i dont know friend i just feel so disapointed and let down by people. its so hard to carry on.. looks like i may have no church group to go back too though i wanted to too. i feel disapointed about this. real disapointed.
i dont like myself right now either, i just dont care anymore thats the problem. i just dont care.

 

[lmarie23]

hi imarie23 bless you for writin. sorry yove had a bad afternoon too.
i dont know friend i just feel so disapointed and let down by people. its so hard to carry on.. looks like i may have no church group to go back too though i wanted to too. i feel disapointed about this. real disapointed.
i dont like myself right now either, i just dont care anymore thats the problem. i just dont care.

i'm sorry to hear about your church group.

when i dont' care anymore about things, or about myself, i tell myself, "even though i feel like i don't care, i need to take care of myself for the people that care about me." remember all of us at CF that care about you. does that help at all?

Lynne

 

[Jo1]

i'm sorry to hear about your church group.

when i dont' care anymore about things, or about myself, i tell myself, "even though i feel like i don't care, i need to take care of myself for the people that care about me." remember all of us at CF that care about you. does that help at all?

Lynne

thanks imarie23. bless you. i understand it does help. its just so hard when you feel so alone in it all and down. i just need a hug.

 

[lmarie23]

thanks imarie23. bless you. i understand it does help. its just so hard when you feel so alone in it all and down. i just need a hug.

more hugs for you:

 

[GryffinSong]

I'm so very sorry that you both feel so down. I wish you love, peace, and the strength to build the feeling of community that you crave.

Is there anyone you can reach out to? Even if only to talk on the phone? I just got off my cell from a two hour phone call! I guess both of us really needed to talk!

I'm new here, so don't know your history, but sometimes churches, schools, jobs, are simply not the right fit for us. And sometimes we have to look elsewhere. Other times, it's a matter of re-applying oneself and helping to build community where you are.

When I'm really down, I try to write about my feelings, and see if there's a tiny step I can take toward something positive. Even if it's as seemingly trivial as cleaning out a dresser drawer. Sometimes cleaning out some literal clutter can help me clear out some emotional clutter.

More hugs, and peace.

 

[Bianca01]

Hope you are feeling a little better.

 

[UnitynLove]

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=UnitynLove Check my page out Jo1 I hope one of the messages helps you.


Love Unity

 

[Jo1]

I'm so very sorry that you both feel so down. I wish you love, peace, and the strength to build the feeling of community that you crave.

Is there anyone you can reach out to? Even if only to talk on the phone? I just got off my cell from a two hour phone call! I guess both of us really needed to talk!

I'm new here, so don't know your history, but sometimes churches, schools, jobs, are simply not the right fit for us. And sometimes we have to look elsewhere. Other times, it's a matter of re-applying oneself and helping to build community where you are.

When I'm really down, I try to write about my feelings, and see if there's a tiny step I can take toward something positive. Even if it's as seemingly trivial as cleaning out a dresser drawer. Sometimes cleaning out some literal clutter can help me clear out some emotional clutter.

More hugs, and peace.

thankyou so much griffinsong bless you.
i do need to talk to people more and on phone yes.
i do most of my talkin on this but i suppose i need to keep a healthy balance really and chat too this way. i know ive gone in myself of late, and being really quite insular really.

 

[HolyOne87]

yes today i can truely declare that i HATE myself.
I HATE my life especially my non-exsistent church life.
I feel so disapointed and hurt, its been like this for years..
I HATE depression,. why should today be any different.
im posting here again and i just really feel so with myself.
yes i feel low real low,

im sorry you feel so low. I know how it is to be that way. Maybe its time to change the route your life is going in. I had to do that, and now my life is better then ever!
I hope things do get better! Like many have said, we are here for you if you need us!

 

[aflower4God]

yes today i can truely declare that i HATE myself.
I HATE my life especially my non-exsistent church life.
I feel so disapointed and hurt, its been like this for years..
I HATE depression,. why should today be any different.
im posting here again and i just really feel so with myself.
yes i feel low real low,

DEAR Jo, you are one of the KINDEST persons that I have ever met. You have one of the biggest hearts out there. personally if your church does not call you up they are really losing a treasure...I mean it!!!!! They are totally missing out on a sweet person such as yourself. I thank God for bringing you here to CF and into my life. I so much enjoy chattin with you and you have REALLY cheered me up so many times in my trials. Jesus DEEPLY cares for you too. He put you here on this earth for a VERY precious reason. I think it is cause you bring SUNSHINE to peoples lives. If you left I would be crushed and I would beg God for you to stay!!!!! You mean that much to me dear sister!!!

GOD BLESS YA and REMEMBER JESUS loves you, it is ALL OVER The Bible! Open it up and HE WILL speak and when he does IT IS LOUD...LIKE A SONG!!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!! God Bless Ya!

 

[jsimms615]

hi imarie23 bless you for writin. sorry yove had a bad afternoon too.
i dont know friend i just feel so disapointed and let down by people. its so hard to carry on.. looks like i may have no church group to go back too though i wanted to too. i feel disapointed about this. real disapointed.
i dont like myself right now either, i just dont care anymore thats the problem. i just dont care.

sorry your having such a hard time. I know exactly what it is like not to like yourself though. I am beginning to study a book by Marilyn Sorensen called "Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem" Maybe we can read it at the same time and talk about it?
PM me if you want to do this. I think it might help us both.

 

[BigToe]

Awww Jo, I wish I had a magic wand that I could just wave around you and make everything all better for you. You're a very special person and a joy to know at all. You've certainly been a blessing for others. *snuggles* My PM box is open if you ever need to chat with anyone.

 

[Bianca01]

Hi Jo,

I hope you're feeling a little better. I'm sorry you're church fellowship hasn't been there for you. People dissapoint sometimes. About 8 years ago I remember being invited to a teaching at a large church and a fellowship party afterwards. When I got to the church, the person who invited me barely acknowledged me. The guy who was having the party looked right past me when I told him I was looking forward to it. I couldn't find a seat at the teaching. When I finally sat down, I was told by another person, "Oh, that seat's saved."

I left after the bible study, in tears, and never arrived at the fellowship party. Felt so alone and upset.

Have found some churches have their "clicks". Kinda like being back in High School.

Anyway, I know church fellowship is so important for you. I will be praying for you.