Well my story starts like this I had failed 4th grade and had to repeat school, so in my sixth grade year my parents pulled me out of my school and sent me to another school where I passed 6th grade with the help of the cool teacher. When we moved back to the area where i was from my mother did not want to send me to the high school. So I was sent to a private church academy, where we wore a uniform of Skirts to the shins.
I was thirteen naive, thought the boy was so cute and that he was in love with me. Until one day I was trying to get into our clasroom, my friend held the door shut so I could not get in. He came up behind me and touched and fondled me. I sorta of let it go for that day and did not say anything to anyone. It continued and grew to be more fondling other private areas, all of this happening under the eye of the teacher. It increased to him shoving me in the girls bathroom of the church and more fondling, this continued for my 7th and 8th grade years.
I was taken out of the school and sent to public high school to repeat my 8th grade. It was there at the high school was tormented and had my skirt flipped in the air by the older guys. The school realized I shouls be in 9th grade so i was switched to the right class. My mother took me to a doctor wondering what was wrong after one day that I still can not remember what happened emotionally. He told her to get me out of thta school now before i had a nervous breakdown.
My parents moved to another county where i finished my high school years. I did have another older gentleman that also loved to fondle me thru my last high school years that happened to be a family friend. I felt like I wamted it and searched for anything that was exactly like what had happened from any boy. But at the same time it effected me emotionally and i knew it was wrong.
I have not ever been with any guy and i am waiting for marriage, but this is effecting my life more than i thought. I am engaged to a wonderful guy, who is so loving and understanding, I thank God for him. Last evening he told me there is a 13 yr old little girl inside of me still sexually. That 13yr old hungers for sexual love and wants it, but when knowing it comes to having sex, she tells me to run and go far away as i can. I struggle with wanting the touching and feelings that comes with it even though it is outside of marriage.
I know it is wrong and I feel terrible and confess my sins every time. I had also wanted to talk to my fiance about, the conversation finally came about last evening. My fiance was very straight with me and told me i ned to talk to someone and seek some help to get over this road block. We feel it is going to affect our marriage to the point i will end up on meds over just being sexually active with my husband or even divorce.
I have started a course recently with a christian ministry working with purity. I am scared to admit my sins to my mentor for fear of being looked down upon, even though I know she would understand. I am also scared of ruining a wonderful relationship with a guy who loves me for I am and is willing to stick with me thru thick and thin.
I was thirteen naive, thought the boy was so cute and that he was in love with me. Until one day I was trying to get into our clasroom, my friend held the door shut so I could not get in. He came up behind me and touched and fondled me. I sorta of let it go for that day and did not say anything to anyone. It continued and grew to be more fondling other private areas, all of this happening under the eye of the teacher. It increased to him shoving me in the girls bathroom of the church and more fondling, this continued for my 7th and 8th grade years.
I was taken out of the school and sent to public high school to repeat my 8th grade. It was there at the high school was tormented and had my skirt flipped in the air by the older guys. The school realized I shouls be in 9th grade so i was switched to the right class. My mother took me to a doctor wondering what was wrong after one day that I still can not remember what happened emotionally. He told her to get me out of thta school now before i had a nervous breakdown.
My parents moved to another county where i finished my high school years. I did have another older gentleman that also loved to fondle me thru my last high school years that happened to be a family friend. I felt like I wamted it and searched for anything that was exactly like what had happened from any boy. But at the same time it effected me emotionally and i knew it was wrong.
I have not ever been with any guy and i am waiting for marriage, but this is effecting my life more than i thought. I am engaged to a wonderful guy, who is so loving and understanding, I thank God for him. Last evening he told me there is a 13 yr old little girl inside of me still sexually. That 13yr old hungers for sexual love and wants it, but when knowing it comes to having sex, she tells me to run and go far away as i can. I struggle with wanting the touching and feelings that comes with it even though it is outside of marriage.
I know it is wrong and I feel terrible and confess my sins every time. I had also wanted to talk to my fiance about, the conversation finally came about last evening. My fiance was very straight with me and told me i ned to talk to someone and seek some help to get over this road block. We feel it is going to affect our marriage to the point i will end up on meds over just being sexually active with my husband or even divorce.
I have started a course recently with a christian ministry working with purity. I am scared to admit my sins to my mentor for fear of being looked down upon, even though I know she would understand. I am also scared of ruining a wonderful relationship with a guy who loves me for I am and is willing to stick with me thru thick and thin.
