1950

[ValleyGal]

This woman decided to live like a '50's housewife for a week. It's an interesting experiment. The results?

I feel wrung-out. I can’t keep up with the laundry, and all the exertion has given me backache. I resent my lowly status. No wonder many women felt desperate....


It’s been depressing, this week, to realise that it’s not my place to chip in with an opinion, and to feel like his servant, rather than his soul mate. The novelty of subservience was briefly amusing, but it wore off fast.


And the truth is, Phil hasn’t enjoyed it either. He says he has felt helpless and useless; a spare part in his own home. He loves looking after his family, cooking us meals. He doesn’t want to be aloof. Playing these roles, far from bringing us together, him-Tarzan, me-Jane style, has made us both feel alone and detached.

Read more: Anna Maxted ditches 21st century ways to become perfect Fifties housewife | Daily Mail Online
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
​

Makes me wonder.... how many men really want to go back to that kind of time? What would it really do to your marriage, your self-esteem, your sense of unity, your social value? Would you women want to do this kind of experiment in your own home? What would even the experiment do to your home/marriage?

I think if I were to try this, my husband would faint....

 

[South Bound]

What would it really do to your marriage, your self-esteem, your sense of unity, your social value?

I believe it's precisely because we've abandoned traditional husband and wife roles as a society, that so many young women have the emotional problems they have.

Being a homemaker is not a bad thing. It is a noble thing.

 

[WolfGate]

I don't get the connection between the tasks and the subservience. Those are two separate things, but the quote in the article seems to tie them together.

Of course being a homemaker was more exhausting in the 50s. Between the lack of technology, task roles, and peer pressure she pointed out it was much more difficult.

And of course if a relationship is subservient it is going to be challenging for someone who doesn't live that way.

In the 50s I agree you could have drawn a correlation between the two, but not the cause and effect I read in the closing of the article.

Having said all that, nah, I wouldn't want to go back to the 1950s. I do not want a subservient wife, and I like the more relaxed societal expectations with regards to lots of areas. Freedom for women to be employed or homemakers is a good thing (same for husbands for that matter). Experiment would never get off the ground for us.

Disclosure statement - in our house I work, she does not. I do most of the yard work, house cleaning and repairs. She does laundry, shopping, pet care and is primary taxi for kids. We both cook. We consider our relationship complementarian.

 

[Odetta]

Isn't being solely a homemaker a recent thing in the grand scheme of things? I mean, the Proverbs 31 woman was an investor and managed servants. I read somewhere that in the 1950s, it became a status symbol for a family to have the wife/mother be a homemaker. Meaning that beforehand it wasn't really the norm. I have no literary reference for that, however.

Not saying it isn't a calling, to be a homemaker. I just wouldn't say it is the ideal for everyone. It's not ideal for our family.

 

[Dave-W]

Isn't being solely a homemaker a recent thing in the grand scheme of things? I mean, the Proverbs 31 woman was an investor and managed servants. I read somewhere that in the 1950s, it became a status symbol for a family to have the wife/mother be a homemaker. Meaning that beforehand it wasn't really the norm.

From what I have read, when we were an agrarian society, everyone worked. That changed with the industrial revolution in the 1800s. But WW2 started reversing that trend with women going into the factories for the first time since most of the men were away. The "status symbol" in the 1950s was an attempt at returning to the pre-war situation, which never completely worked.

 

[jannikitty]

Not all women in the 1950's fit the stereotype. My mother certainly did not.

 

[HerCrazierHalf]

For depressing historical reasons I always find the idea of the 50's being the good old days an odd one. Anyways, the idea of such rigid roles is troubling. It creates too many chances for conflict.

It turns the husband into the wife's boss to a degree. In addition to her being excessively subservient (some level is fine) it adds to the pressure be has to manage everything else.

 

[Inkachu]

Cute story, and I think I would have been utterly miserable in the 50's. I would have been the tomboyish, bookish, dirt-smudged girl who everyone decided would end up an old spinster, cause I just didn't give a darn about fitting in.

 

[ImaginaryDay]

I think if I were to try this, my husband would faint....

My first thought would be "why are you giving me a pipe and slippers???"

 

[sdmsanjose]

I feel wrung-out. I can’t keep up with the laundry, and all the exertion has given me backache. I resent my lowly status. No wonder many women felt desperate....

My mom did the laundry but never felt she had lowly status. Perhaps some women in the 1950s felt lowly in status but my mom never did and she also worked full time.


It’s been depressing, this week, to realise that it’s not my place to chip in with an opinion, and to feel like his servant, rather than his soul mate. The novelty of subservience was briefly amusing, but it wore off fast.
I suppose that there were women in the 1950s that realized that it was not their place to have an opinion and that they were a servant but that was not my mom or my wife.


And the truth is, Phil hasn’t enjoyed it either. He says he has felt helpless and useless; a spare part in his own home. He loves looking after his family, cooking us meals. He doesn’t want to be aloof. Playing these roles, far from bringing us together, him-Tarzan, me-Jane style, has made us both feel alone and detached.
My father did not cook many meals and my mother loved to cook. My father always looked after his family and had two jobs most of the time yet still had time for us children. My mom worked full time and did most of the house work and also helped us children in many ways. I am not saying that everyone one should be like that but it worked for us.


My mom and dad raised thier family in the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s. I wished that my brother and I had helped my mom more but we just did not realize that my mom did so many things. She never complained and does not understand why the younger women do not make home cooked meals most of the time. I think that my mom is an exceptional woman and she felt that the 1950s was Ok.

Our 1950s did not have our women treated as subservient and lowly in status without allowing their opinion. Dad at times thought he was Tarzan but after mom got through with him he was more like cheetah. Overall Dad had a lot of good points. If it is true for some what the article states is real then that SUCKS!

My wife and I kind of followed some of the footsteps of our parents. My wife worked at the school and did almost all the housework. I worked full time, did the lawns, auto repairs, home repairs, took care of most of the financial situations, and battled most of the problems in the family and outside the family. When my wife wanted to try and take some of my responsibilities she lasted about two months then came to me and said that she was through with her curiosity about our roles.


I think that my wife did plenty with her working for 26 years and taking care of the home. I am still working after 40 years and I have hired someone to do most of her house work but she will not let the hired person do everything. The children are grown and we have all the modern conveniences and appliance now. My wife deserves to just enjoy her retirement and I take her out to eat at least 4 times a week. Thank God I now have enough money for all the necessities and a few luxuries. We also have someone to help make meals but my wife will not let her fix all the meals.


Yes we lived a little bit of the 1950s-1960s way but I do not see that our expertise was too bad. In any event we are doing OK as we have been married for over 40 years and we get together with the children and grandchildren at least twice a week.


The way the article explained the 1950s was terrible!

 

[ValleyGal]

Stan, I think you and a couple of others here bring up some great points. My parents were teens in the 1950's, and although mom almost went on to become a hairdresser, she got pregnant early and my dad did what was morally right and married her. She was a fantastic homemaker - had a garden, baked from scratch, made home preserves - lots of them! She taught us to do all these things, too. She certainly never even considered that she should be doing anything else.

Times changed, and my generation did not marry quite so young, and universities were opening up more and more to women, even in professions that were traditionally "men's." Times continued to change.... and now we are here, hearing stories about those good old days when women "knew their place." And certainly, they did. Their culture shaped them for it.

For this young woman (I think she is in her 30's) to learn about 1950's culture and then live what she read about for a week is to take herself out of cultural progression and place herself into a culture she was not shaped for. We shape our culture and our culture shapes us. So to live like a woman back then would be foreign to her, and certainly I can see how she would feel like she did.

It might have been great for our parents to live back then, by 1950's cultural norms, but I absolutely could not yank myself back to such a time. I would feel just like her. I like that my husband values my opinion and does not expect me to bake homemade desserts every day. I like that he gets his own slippers and does not smoke a pipe or sit on his hiney after getting home from work while he waits for his hot meal. I like that he often makes my dinner so it's hot when I come home from work instead. I like that I do not get an allowance for groceries and that we make major decisions together.

There are a lot of men who seem to think that the 1950's was a better time, feminism was not so prominent and we should all go back to that mindset where women should be home making desserts and babies and leave family decisions to them. Reverting back to that kind of time would not work and might even be detrimental to families today....or at least to women today. I know if I had to live like that after adapting to progressive social norms, I, too, would feel disconnected from my husband and subservient to him (less important).

 

[South Bound]

Stan, I think you and a couple of others here bring up some great points. My parents were teens in the 1950's, and although mom almost went on to become a hairdresser, she got pregnant early and my dad did what was morally right and married her. She was a fantastic homemaker - had a garden, baked from scratch, made home preserves - lots of them! She taught us to do all these things, too. She certainly never even considered that she should be doing anything else.

Times changed, and my generation did not marry quite so young, and universities were opening up more and more to women, even in professions that were traditionally "men's." Times continued to change.... and now we are here, hearing stories about those good old days when women "knew their place." And certainly, they did. Their culture shaped them for it.

For this young woman (I think she is in her 30's) to learn about 1950's culture and then live what she read about for a week is to take herself out of cultural progression and place herself into a culture she was not shaped for. We shape our culture and our culture shapes us. So to live like a woman back then would be foreign to her, and certainly I can see how she would feel like she did.

It might have been great for our parents to live back then, by 1950's cultural norms, but I absolutely could not yank myself back to such a time. I would feel just like her. I like that my husband values my opinion and does not expect me to bake homemade desserts every day. I like that he gets his own slippers and does not smoke a pipe or sit on his hiney after getting home from work while he waits for his hot meal. I like that he often makes my dinner so it's hot when I come home from work instead. I like that I do not get an allowance for groceries and that we make major decisions together.

There are a lot of men who seem to think that the 1950's was a better time, feminism was not so prominent and we should all go back to that mindset where women should be home making desserts and babies and leave family decisions to them. Reverting back to that kind of time would not work and might even be detrimental to families today....or at least to women today. I know if I had to live like that after adapting to progressive social norms, I, too, would feel disconnected from my husband and subservient to him (less important).

The further we get away from God's design for the sexes, the further the family and, by association, society, will crumble.

 

[bluegreysky]

This woman decided to live like a '50's housewife for a week. It's an interesting experiment. quote]


Ok we already know this would suck without seeing the quotes because after her long day of chores in heels and a tight sundress, she doesn't get to veg out on facebook and pinterest because the 50's didn't know what the internet was yet.

 

[mkgal1]

The further we get away from God's design for the sexes, the further the family and, by association, society, will crumble.

....and this experiment may just show that what a lot of people *believe* is "God's design" isn't His design in reality. I think the point about the lack of unity that resulted in this experiment is an important one to take notice of. I keep posting this...but there really is no better way to test principles other than to see what results from living them out.

 

[Inkachu]

Love how the guys always proclaim how God conveniently "designed" them to be educated, working adults, and those womensfolks were just "designed" to cook, clean, and give birth. Oh, now neatly it fits in with their comfy expectations! Hide the books now, fellas, don't want those godless jezebels gettin' any learnin' into their heads and starting to question things.

 

[WolfGate]

Love how the guys always proclaim how God conveniently "designed" them to be educated, working adults, and those womensfolks were just "designed" to cook, clean, and give birth. Oh, now neatly it fits in with their comfy expectations! Hide the books now, fellas, don't want those godless jezebels gettin' any learnin' into their heads and starting to question things.

I don't usually get concerned about rash generalizations, but that one kind of sticks a bit. The choice of words implies strongly all men and only men. Neither is true. Appreciate the use of sarcasm elsewhere though.

 

[sdmsanjose]

BY ValleyGalIt might have been great for our parents to live back then, by 1950's cultural norms, but I absolutely could not yank myself back to such a time. I would feel just like her. I like that my husband values my opinion and does not expect me to bake homemade desserts every day. I like that he gets his own slippers and does not smoke a pipe or sit on his hiney after getting home from work while he waits for his hot meal. I like that he often makes my dinner so it's hot when I come home from work instead. I like that I do not get an allowance for groceries and that we make major decisions together.

I am glad that you and your husband see eye to eye on many things. That is very important for your marriage. If what you two do works who can argue? Not me! If it aint broke then do not fix it! Way to go ValleyGal and VG Hubby!

It is true that most of the couples that I observed in the 1950s and early 1960s had the man working and the mother taking care of the home and children. Don’t know about other 1950s couples but my mom’s opinion was always valued by all and she did make fresh tortillas every day and reminisces about that even today with fond memories. She never got my dad his slippers and my dad did not sit on his hiney because he had two jobs. Dad never made mom or us dinner and never gave my mom an allowance but gave his whole check to her to handle the financial situation. They made decisions together most of the time and especially the big purchases. I do not think that all couples had the set up that the woman in the article detests.

I am sure there were some couples in the 1950s that fit the description of your posted article and as I said that SUCKS! My mom and dad did not fit that article to any great degree but maybe that is because my mom is so strong. The article seems to think that all women in the 1950s had those experiences that made the woman in the article so repulsed.

As a child that was raised in the 1950s and 1960s I will say this. We did not have twice the divorce rate as today, drive by shootings, extremely dangerous gangs, teen pregnancy was less than half of what is now, when a man/boy got his girlfriend pregnant he usually married her, there was almost no hard core drugs, almost no available hard core porn and especially for the youth, no multiple shooting and mass killing in schools, and crime was a lot less in almost every category than it is now.

Some of the cultural norms in the 1950s and 1960s for women may have not been acceptable to the women of the 1990s and 2000s but as far as being children raised in the culture of the 1950s and 1960s (not so much the late 1960s) I would prefer that society over today.

I would like to see us adopt some of the 1950s and 1960s ways and also the improvements of the 1990s and 2000s; such as no more subservient women that was not allowed an opinion and blend them in today. I would rather look at the positive of each generation and incorporate them than to worry about our society going back to a time when some of the culture had women as servants without opinions.

I do not think today that we have to worry too much about women being subservient with no opinion any more than we have to worry about African Americans sitting in back of the bus and not allowed into white neighborhoods, restaurants, and motels etc.

 

[ValleyGal]

You're right, Stan. There were many good things (values) about the 1950's. There were also things that make my skin crawl. One article in a Good Housekeeping magazine from back then "taught" women how to be a good wife and it did indeed include things like getting dressed, freshening her makeup and hair, light the fire, get his newspaper and slippers - but before putting his slippers on, she was taught to rub his feet. He could then read the paper or have a nap while she set the table and put dinner out....all the while the kids must be kept neat and tidy and quiet. There were other things too, that were ridiculous by today's standards. I believe it was likely worse in the churches because of the biblical and pastoral gender bias.

While you had parents who were egalitarian by 1950's standards, I had patriarchy. My mom did not matter - along with most of the women in my community and church. As time went on, most families adapted and men were on board with involvement at home as well as women participating more in the work. My family did not adapt - well, mom sure tried, but dad would not let her. It was not until they had their first grandchild that mom finally stood up for her right to have an opinion. They divorced.

I think it is this failure to adapt which contributes to some men's comments about what they believe is a woman's place, or iow, how they were designed. I think some men are stuck in that mindset that they would be happier if their wife were as attentive and "unopinionated" as [some of] the women from the 50's.

I fully agree that we should take the positive from each generation and keep it, pass it on to the next generation. Unfortunately, we would need to choose who gets to decide what the "positive" is. Some would say it is positive that women have an opinion and have equal say in family decisions, but others would say it is positive for women to stay quiet at home, keepers of the home and that men should be responsible for provision. These kinds of clashes in values would prevent every generation from taking the positive from previous generations.

I can't stand the thought of having the disconnected marriage of the 50s and 60s that my parents had....

 

[ImaginaryDay]

Some things of interest (read the article before watching the video, though. It's referenced in the 'Snopes' article). The article is full of some good information about '50s culture. I couldn't believe the video. It was an educational video from 1951 produced by the Iowa State College, Home Economics Division.

snopes.com: How to Be a Good Wife

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crQ9r3C_NPM

 

[Dave-W]

Love how the guys always proclaim how God conveniently "designed" them to be educated, working adults, and those womensfolks were just "designed" to cook, clean, and give birth.

Well - in defense of that opinion, I do not think a woman (especially a pregnant woman) was designed for early industrial revolution factory work where the taskmasters would beat their employees with whips and workplace deaths were commonplace due to extremly unsafe conditions. Men WERE and ARE built to take that kind of abuse.

If someone has to go thru that I would MUCH rather it be me than my wife.

I realize workplace conditions are nowhere near that in this day and age (at least in western societies) but it was like that not that far in our past. The societal opinions formed by that take a long time to disappear.