- Mar 7, 2007
- 2,450
- 35
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
I started writing this a couple months ago. Right now it has 8,117 words. It's about 6 chapters long right now. This first part is 2,176 words long so if you have the free time please read it. I'll share more if you ask!
“You’re worthless. You deserve nothing,” my mirror image spoke as the demon taunting my soul. The tears stung my eyes as I slid down the dirty white bathroom wall. Terrified of my demon, I shook violently. Screaming, putting my hands on the broken tile to somehow sturdy myself.
“Will I always be broken?” I whispered. I lay on the cold tile, shaking and crying, completely alone. I took the razorblade and placed a long cut in my wrist.
“Hey Erin, what’s up? You look different lately. You look good. Do something with your hair?” my schoolmate, Michelle, asked me.
“Yeah… I uhh straightened it. You like it?” I replied, pulling my sleeves over my hands.
“Love it!!! You look HOT!”
“Great,” I tried to hide my sarcasm but it slid passed my lips faster I could catch it.
“Grouchy much? Come on, you look hot. Get over it. Move on. He’s gone, girl. Find a new man.” Find a new man? We were going to get married. Get over it? No. Not happening.
“Ok. Ok.” I said to shut her up.
“Good.” The bell rang. A look to the ceiling, a silent “thank you” to God, then I stood and walked to lunch.
Lunch was over in a heartbeat. I played my charade well and no one at my lunch table suspected a thing. In fact, just like Michelle, they said I looked good. I quickly escaped the lunch room as soon as possible. Math was my next class and I was definitely not looking forward to it. Math class is my worst class of the day. I don’t get anything and I have no friends in class. Life sucks. Oh, but my teacher is really nice. He seriou…
“Erin!” Crap. “Erin, come put #52 on the board please.” Double crap. Mr. Shutz loves me for some reason even though I suck at math. Maybe I should define suck: I get a few A’s and C’s but mostly B’s. So, maybe I don’t suck.
Before I knew it, the bell had rung and math class was over.
“Erin, can we talk?” Mr. Shutz looked concerned. Oh no… I think he noticed my cuts.
“OK…”
“What’s up? You looked distracted today.”
“Well, I got very little sleep last night. Life sucks, man.”
“Do you have anyone to talk to?”
“Look, I got to get to class and it’s really weird talking to you about this.” I turned to leave but Mr. Shutz grabbed my wrist to stop me. Oh holy crap! I turned into stone and I tried to hide it. Too late. His thumb touched the cut on my wrist. He rolled up my sleeve, examined the cut, and then rolled my sleeve back down.
“Leave.” Mr. Shutz wasn’t angry. He was worried. “I know about your family issues. I know you don’t get along with your dad. Leave. Move out…”
“But…”
“No. Leave. Move in with a friend or something. Whatever you do, just leave.” Mr. Shutz put his hand on my back and walked me out of the room. “Good luck.”
I walked to speech class befuddled and at a loss for words. I walked into class and realized speech presentations were today. The bell rang.
“Any volunteers?” my speech teacher, Mrs. Preston asked.
…Silence…
“Ok! Calm down. Don’t lose your pants!”
…Silence…
“Erin, it's your turn. Give us what you got.” Uhhhhhh… Umm… Well POOP! I walked up to the front of the room and realized how ironic it was that I was giving a speech about how life rocks. No. Life sucks.
“Life is a gift. Something we should look forward to. My family sucks. My dad hates me. My ex-boyfriend left me because I was too full of sin. We said we’d be friends, but we never talk anymore.” And that’s when I ran out of the room, crying. I didn’t know where I was running, I just ran. Then all of a sudden, someone grabs my hand and I nearly fly backward going from thirty MPH to zero MPH in about half a second.
“Whoa whoa whoa! What are you doing, Erin?” Jack, a pervert from physics class, turned me around to face him. Jack was about my height but ever so slightly shorter with blue eyes and short buzzed hair. Despite his height, he was totally adorable.
“Oh, hi! Just working out.”
“Running in the halls at school? Working out? Ha!”
“Listen, I can’t talk right now. I got a big bowl of [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] to deal with.”
“Yeah, you want me to make you feel better?” He put his hand on my lower back.
“Get off me, you perv!”
“Come on.”
“No.”
“For real? Okay, what’s going on? Tell me.”
“Heck no!”
“You know, I care about how you’re doing.”
“Well,” I hesitated. “There’s crap going on at home.”
“I see and how does that make you feel?” I walked away after that. Jack was just wasting my time now. I left school and drove until I came to a spot out in the middle of nowhere where I could walk. The wind was cool with a slight bite. To my surprise, the cold bothered me. I got back in my beat up, square, black Buick and started it up. I drove home in silence; my thoughts were enough to keep me company.
I got home around 4 P.M. and my dad would be home in an hour and a half. So, I took a shower and blasted my music while I washed dishes. The calmness of a lonely household eased my pain and brought me joy for a short while, but when my dad got home, he wasn’t happy at all.
“Erin!!!” Why is everyone always yelling my name? Gosh!
“Yes, dad?”
“The school called me at work. They said you ran off today. What happened?”
“I just got scared is all.”
“Uh huh, you expect me to believe that, you little liar? Mrs. Preston told me that you totally freaked out.” My dad grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against a wall. His breath smelt of beef and cheese. He looked me in the eyes and I tried to escape his gaze. Then, he punched me in the stomach. The air went out of me and I fell to the ground.
“Think about it. When you’re sorry, come and talk to me.” I closed my eyes and started to cry. I remembered what Mr. Shutz had told me. I have to leave.
Once I had the strength to stand, I went to my room and packed my things. I called Michelle, even though I didn’t want to, I did any way.
“Hi Michelle, can I ask for a favor?” I asked shyly.
“Anything for you, girl.”
“I need a place to stay.”
“The bugs come back again?” This summer, my house got infested by bugs. She let me stay at her house.
“No, it’s something worse. Look, can I please just live with you for a couple months?”
“Sure, anything for you. One problem, I need to ask my parents. I’ll let you know tomorrow at school.”
“OK.” I reluctantly hung up the phone. I had to wait until the morning for release. For now, I’d just stay away from my dad.
TEXT MESSAGE!
Jack: Hey, what’s going on? I know I was rude earlier but what’s up?
Me: I’m moving in with Michelle.
Jack: Fun.
Me: Sure.
Jack: I’m always here to talk, if you need someone.
Me: OK.
Chapter 1
“You’re worthless. You deserve nothing,” my mirror image spoke as the demon taunting my soul. The tears stung my eyes as I slid down the dirty white bathroom wall. Terrified of my demon, I shook violently. Screaming, putting my hands on the broken tile to somehow sturdy myself.
“Will I always be broken?” I whispered. I lay on the cold tile, shaking and crying, completely alone. I took the razorblade and placed a long cut in my wrist.
“Hey Erin, what’s up? You look different lately. You look good. Do something with your hair?” my schoolmate, Michelle, asked me.
“Yeah… I uhh straightened it. You like it?” I replied, pulling my sleeves over my hands.
“Love it!!! You look HOT!”
“Great,” I tried to hide my sarcasm but it slid passed my lips faster I could catch it.
“Grouchy much? Come on, you look hot. Get over it. Move on. He’s gone, girl. Find a new man.” Find a new man? We were going to get married. Get over it? No. Not happening.
“Ok. Ok.” I said to shut her up.
“Good.” The bell rang. A look to the ceiling, a silent “thank you” to God, then I stood and walked to lunch.
Lunch was over in a heartbeat. I played my charade well and no one at my lunch table suspected a thing. In fact, just like Michelle, they said I looked good. I quickly escaped the lunch room as soon as possible. Math was my next class and I was definitely not looking forward to it. Math class is my worst class of the day. I don’t get anything and I have no friends in class. Life sucks. Oh, but my teacher is really nice. He seriou…
“Erin!” Crap. “Erin, come put #52 on the board please.” Double crap. Mr. Shutz loves me for some reason even though I suck at math. Maybe I should define suck: I get a few A’s and C’s but mostly B’s. So, maybe I don’t suck.
Before I knew it, the bell had rung and math class was over.
“Erin, can we talk?” Mr. Shutz looked concerned. Oh no… I think he noticed my cuts.
“OK…”
“What’s up? You looked distracted today.”
“Well, I got very little sleep last night. Life sucks, man.”
“Do you have anyone to talk to?”
“Look, I got to get to class and it’s really weird talking to you about this.” I turned to leave but Mr. Shutz grabbed my wrist to stop me. Oh holy crap! I turned into stone and I tried to hide it. Too late. His thumb touched the cut on my wrist. He rolled up my sleeve, examined the cut, and then rolled my sleeve back down.
“Leave.” Mr. Shutz wasn’t angry. He was worried. “I know about your family issues. I know you don’t get along with your dad. Leave. Move out…”
“But…”
“No. Leave. Move in with a friend or something. Whatever you do, just leave.” Mr. Shutz put his hand on my back and walked me out of the room. “Good luck.”
I walked to speech class befuddled and at a loss for words. I walked into class and realized speech presentations were today. The bell rang.
“Any volunteers?” my speech teacher, Mrs. Preston asked.
…Silence…
“Ok! Calm down. Don’t lose your pants!”
…Silence…
“Erin, it's your turn. Give us what you got.” Uhhhhhh… Umm… Well POOP! I walked up to the front of the room and realized how ironic it was that I was giving a speech about how life rocks. No. Life sucks.
“Life is a gift. Something we should look forward to. My family sucks. My dad hates me. My ex-boyfriend left me because I was too full of sin. We said we’d be friends, but we never talk anymore.” And that’s when I ran out of the room, crying. I didn’t know where I was running, I just ran. Then all of a sudden, someone grabs my hand and I nearly fly backward going from thirty MPH to zero MPH in about half a second.
“Whoa whoa whoa! What are you doing, Erin?” Jack, a pervert from physics class, turned me around to face him. Jack was about my height but ever so slightly shorter with blue eyes and short buzzed hair. Despite his height, he was totally adorable.
“Oh, hi! Just working out.”
“Running in the halls at school? Working out? Ha!”
“Listen, I can’t talk right now. I got a big bowl of [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] to deal with.”
“Yeah, you want me to make you feel better?” He put his hand on my lower back.
“Get off me, you perv!”
“Come on.”
“No.”
“For real? Okay, what’s going on? Tell me.”
“Heck no!”
“You know, I care about how you’re doing.”
“Well,” I hesitated. “There’s crap going on at home.”
“I see and how does that make you feel?” I walked away after that. Jack was just wasting my time now. I left school and drove until I came to a spot out in the middle of nowhere where I could walk. The wind was cool with a slight bite. To my surprise, the cold bothered me. I got back in my beat up, square, black Buick and started it up. I drove home in silence; my thoughts were enough to keep me company.
I got home around 4 P.M. and my dad would be home in an hour and a half. So, I took a shower and blasted my music while I washed dishes. The calmness of a lonely household eased my pain and brought me joy for a short while, but when my dad got home, he wasn’t happy at all.
“Erin!!!” Why is everyone always yelling my name? Gosh!
“Yes, dad?”
“The school called me at work. They said you ran off today. What happened?”
“I just got scared is all.”
“Uh huh, you expect me to believe that, you little liar? Mrs. Preston told me that you totally freaked out.” My dad grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against a wall. His breath smelt of beef and cheese. He looked me in the eyes and I tried to escape his gaze. Then, he punched me in the stomach. The air went out of me and I fell to the ground.
“Think about it. When you’re sorry, come and talk to me.” I closed my eyes and started to cry. I remembered what Mr. Shutz had told me. I have to leave.
Once I had the strength to stand, I went to my room and packed my things. I called Michelle, even though I didn’t want to, I did any way.
“Hi Michelle, can I ask for a favor?” I asked shyly.
“Anything for you, girl.”
“I need a place to stay.”
“The bugs come back again?” This summer, my house got infested by bugs. She let me stay at her house.
“No, it’s something worse. Look, can I please just live with you for a couple months?”
“Sure, anything for you. One problem, I need to ask my parents. I’ll let you know tomorrow at school.”
“OK.” I reluctantly hung up the phone. I had to wait until the morning for release. For now, I’d just stay away from my dad.
TEXT MESSAGE!
Jack: Hey, what’s going on? I know I was rude earlier but what’s up?
Me: I’m moving in with Michelle.
Jack: Fun.
Me: Sure.
Jack: I’m always here to talk, if you need someone.
Me: OK.
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