12 step humor.

[Autumnleaf]

A guy who goes to some meetings I go to told us one day that as he was leaving for the meeting his neighbor was doing yard work and asked him if he was going to one of those AA meetings. My friend said that yes he was. The neighbor asked him how long he had to go to them for. My friend replied that he had to go to them for the rest of his life. His neighbor replied, "Damn! Which judge did you get?"

True story.

Post your own experiences or even related things that bring a smile to your face.

 

[If Not For Grace]

 

[If Not For Grace]

 

[Autumnleaf]

How many Alanons does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Once the Alanons detach the light bulb screws itself.

 

[Mayflower1]

A man died and went to heaven.St Peter asked,"What denomination are you?" The man replied,"I don't belong here,I don't go to church".St Peter said"Well,we don't make mistakes, you belong here, lets just walk around and you can see where you'd like to stay"

So they walked down the hall and St Peter opened a door and there were all these pews with people kneeling and praying and crossing themselves.

"Who are they?'asked the man.

"Those are the Catholics",answered St Peter

"Well, I don't want to stay here,"said the man,and they walked on down the hall.

St Peter opened the next door. Inside were all these pews with with people sitting straight up staring ahead.

"Who are they?" asked the man.

"Those are the Protestants answered St. Peter.

"Well I don't want to stay here," said the man,and they walked down the hall.

The next room they came to,St. Peter opened the door and the man smelled coffee.The man looked inside and there were all these people laughing and hugging and they got in a big group hug and said the Serenity Prayer.

The man said,"I like these people,who are they?"

St. Peter said,"I don't know. They won't tell us.")))))))

 

[Mayflower1]

- Why aren’t people in recovery good dancers? They lose interest after twelve steps.

- Why did the accountant do so well in AA? He was already a friend of bills.

- Did you hear there's a new 12-step program for people who talk too much? It's called on-and-on-anon.

- A new definition for 13th Stepping .... Steps 1 + 12, "My life is unmanageable and I want to share it with you!"

- Jim is told by his sponsor that he needs to participate more in service work. So he applies for the position of treasurer. They hold a group conscience and ask him "What is nine multiplied by four?" He thinks quickly and says "Thirty-three." After the interview, he realizes his mistake. He’s surprised when they inform he got the job, despite there being four other candidates. “But I got the wrong answer,” he protests. “Yeah, we know. But you were closest.”

- A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Lets see you do it." The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"


If you have any recovery humor that you want to share, please post them here. May your day in recovery be filled with lots of laughter, happiness and serenity.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Old Time AA member in an open meeting strikes up a conversation with a new visiting Al-Anon member.

AA member says "How many in your Home Group are Nurses or First Responders"

Al-anon says "I don't know 3 or 4, I suppose"

OT AA says "Nope..ALL OF EM, just some are licensed and others are not"

 

[If Not For Grace]

I got pulled over today, The Deputy walked up and said " PAPERS" and I yelled "SCISSORS I WIN!" he made me get out of my car and do a bunch of tests.

 

[If Not For Grace]

 

[detachment]

AA a psychward with the doors open

 

[Autumnleaf]

AA a psychward with the doors open

For some they even put in a revolving door.

 

[mark kennedy]

Can't Get Enough

A drunk is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp and out pops a Genie who offers him three wishes. The drunk says I want a bottle of whiskey that never runs out. The Genie grants the wish and says, 'Whats the second wish'? The drunk relies, another one.