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So...is there still a duck pond around here?  if not, you'll find me in a beanbag in the corner watching the world go by... No one here has ever been far from my mind - I will be back again & write more when I can. Love & prayers to all lisa 

Thinking of you all... Will write more when I can

merry christmas precious friends praying that today is one of freedom and not fear and that you experience the love God has for you, as His adored and cherished child... Remember, Jesus has experienced human existence, and he does understand. :) :hug:

so, rather than depress the coffee shop, hope noone minds me here... everything just seems too hard... still doing the counselling thing... the dietician I started seeing is no longer available on the days i have off work (maybe I could ring and work something else out, but don't want to be a...

thanks april :hug: things are just really tough right now... every time i try to do something that should 'help' me, it seems everything gets worse... just lost and don't know which way is up...and don't want to drag anyone down with me... sorry.... *hides in corner... enjoys the company but...

hello beautiful ones... seems that while i've been trying to vanish from the world without signicant success, i've missed alot of important things in your lives... April, congratulations precious!!! praying that you and Jarrod are cherishing every moment of your new lives together! (big hugs)...

ok... did the dietician thing today... :doh: am with-holding all judgements for the time being... completely stressed by the whole thing... apart from a few bits of chocolate, i didn't eat at all yesterday or until dinner this evening... just when I really needed to talk to my T, the appt was...

:hug::hug::hug:hugs to all

so, quick question... would seeing a dietician be a good idea, to try to get my head out of the distorted place it resides in when trying to manage food... ??? i phoned one the other day just to find out costs... but now the thought of picking up the phone to make an appt is enough to bring SI...

:hug:hey all...feels like ages since i've been here... not much to say... same old stuff... just want to hide from the world, if only that could disconnect my brain... pet hate at the moment - people who say they have no expectations of you, and then are disappointed by you not doing what they...

:hug::hug::hug: not much to say... yet again just trying to distract myself from doing something foolish... there's been nothing to trigger me, and yet the desire to SI is so strong ... :sigh: ... Katey - like April has said, focus on the recovery... my T keeps asking me what life could look...

:( don't know if i can fight it tonight.... just so lonely and the 'voices' so loud...

hiding out by the duck pond... stars are so bright out here... hot chocolate with marshmallows, anyone? oh, help me.... 'thoughts' so strong tonight... :(

April, :hug:so sorry about molly! I know you must miss her - but she's in hamster heaven now... Katey - praying for you hon, I know it's hard, but try to hang in there and do what they are asking... it's for the best (even tho you brain will try to argue against it)... we love you!!! just got...

don't know what is wrong with me anymore... just keeps going downhill...my counsellor is worried... maybe i should be but i only have the energy to keep trying to be ok... everytime i see her, it's like i can let down my guard and it all spills out, and appears alot worse than i really am...

hi all think it's been over three weeks since i was here... did a quick scan of posts... April, when you get this 'social life' thing sorted, let me know, ok? I work, sleep... 'social life' consists of church when i get there (and leave as quickly as possible as soon as it end!) pfft... think...

hey guys... think i'm just exhausted from two long days at work, but feel like hiding in a corner & crying myself to sleep tonight... miss being able to come here more often... love you guys... :hug:

April!!!! So happy to have you back... sorry you're still struggling with everything so much... praying for you!!! Hang in there! You are so worth being happy, healthy, & whole! So keep trusting in God (& the help He puts in your life)... Love ya, xoxox

haven't really got much to say... just wanted to send all my love, lots of hugs, and even more prayers... thinking of you all... xoxox :hug:

oh, bother... I just typed a whole page and it's gone... ... what I was thinking was can I move this thread into a blog somehow? ... anyway dr's appt when ok (better than days of anxiety before hand would allow me to believe)... dr seems nice enough... freely admits he doesn't know much about...