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I understand what you mean, I have been the same for not understanding it. It sounded very much like you were being sensible and I agree with your view, that it is impossible for someone to know what it's like unless they've been through it (or seen it). I didn't mean to say you were, just was...

I could be COMPLETELY wrong here, but could it be that you are too scared to open up again, or are not willing to possibly hurt the other person? I know after things falling apart with Lillian I was very much of the mind of not going out with someone else, as there was too much risk of hurting...

It's ok, she knows and has forgiven me. Just it's still hard to know what I did.

Even writing that little bit there has started me crying, wishing I could take all the pain that I gave my ex. It's not easy.

That's fantastic to hear, :) I think for us guys it is one of the hardest things to not be able to help when we want to save the other person from pain. It's even worse if we think we caused it, and wish we could do anything to take it away, but know we can't.

I guess for me I look at the illness that it IS part of who I am. It's not a part I like, but it is part of me. I try and fight it, but we all have bad stuff that is part of us, not just the bipolar part. But it's basically the same as you think, but just worded differently I think.

I guess I kind of said some of the stuff in one of the other threads, but I have decided in future that I really want someone that I am dating to go through at least 1 depression and 1 mania period, so they know what they are getting into. I had been thinking that I wouldn't go out with anyone...

I have only been diagnosed since January, so have not had any time that I would tell anyone. But as a friend I'm pretty open about it, but I know that people will not understand. I certainly didn't before I had the bigger swings. Often it can help sharing stories of the stupidity, but that...

Ok, I don't know much - it was just a thought, since it seems like some doctors can be a bit useless at some stuff.

For those people who reacted to Lamictal - did you go on really slowly? The bipolar specialist place said they'd basically seen no-one react in many years. I was wondering if other places up the dosage too quickly, which causes it? I was on 25mg for 2 weeks, then 50mg for another few weeks...

No, don't get me wrong, she wasn't like that. She doesn't understand some of it, and has said that. It was just that there was far too much damaged caused by the time when I was bipolar, that destroyed all the trust and good stuff. Ironically now that I am more stable and out of the...

Loven God I am very lucky to have it. My boss asked to come and speak to my psychologist to be able to find out more about it, and if there's stuff that helps/ things to avoid. I just read about your old boss and how he mistreated you. I'm really sorry to hear about that. I hope things go...

I think with schrodingers_cat_lives that a lot of it she has accepted, but I guess I have been thinking that we are closer than we are, so you are right, I have to be careful. I think it will be ok with her, but I should think more!

Intellegence is perhaps more the opposite with bipolar - when I was diagnosed I told them which company I worked for (it's a big company that is very good - I've been blessed to be here) they said there is a higher percentage that normal of bipolar people there, as a lot of bipolar people are...

It was meaning post #13 that was written by schrodingers_cat_lives that I was meaning, when she asked if it seemed crazy. I wasn't trying to make light of any of the stuff talked about here, as I know it is very difficult. I was just meaning with her post that it was very long, and had lots of...

Yes, ;) Sorry - I found it insightful, but I also know in what way it was written, and I think sometimes all we can do is laugh at ourselves! There was many good points in it, and I agree with it. I hope it's ok to say - I don't mean to make light of your loss at all. I'm also really pleased...

I saw this really clearly in Norway recently. With the shooting on the Island, Brevik was examined to see if he was sane or not. The first diagnosis was that he was insane, the second was that he was sane. It divided opinion in Norway a lot - because he could talk and function normally a lot...

Hey Alex, Just wanted to say thanks for a lot of your posts. They're really encouraging, and I wish I could be a bit more like you in focusing on God. But I guess we each have our own journey, and God wants us as the person we are. I'm not quite sure what you're meaning by that last part...

Many people say they hate the depression most - but this is the reason I hate being manic more than the depression. At least in the depression I only hurt myself (generally), whereas the mania hurts others (and then myself later) and has destroyed the relationships. I hope things get sorted...

It's been something I've tried to do, but it just doesn't seem to last... I think when I get the depression I pull back, and the other person hasn't "come after me" and so it's just drifted apart. I guess I should try again though.