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God loves us for the same reasons we loves our chilren.......at least thats how I look at it. Like posted earlier...its unconditional. I may not like the things my children do or I may not like what the grow up to be. But they are my children and I will love them anyway. I will do what...

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Dear Santa, I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground, and figured out how to attach nine...

Here is a math trick that might get you thinking... 1. Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your head) 2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code) 3. Multiply by 80 4. Add 1 5. Multiply by 250 6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone...

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah.... Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't...

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."...

Reasons I'd like to thank Wal-Mart, Kmart, Target, and my local grocer for having twenty-five checkout lanes and only three open at any given time: Waiting in long lines keeps my domestic brain from going completely idle -- there's so much to learn! Did you know they now sell primed...

1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened. 3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year. 4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation. 5. Pets won't bother to pester you for scraps. 6. No one will...

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the...

The turkey shot out of the oven and rocketed into the air, it knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair. It ricocheted into a corner and burst with a deafening boom, then splattered all over the kitchen, completely obscuring the room. It stuck to the walls and...

"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both. "The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north." "What are the advantages?"...

An old Wild West fort is about to be attacked. The wily old general sends for his trusty Indian scout. "You must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here." The trusty Indian scout lies down and puts his ear to the ground. "Heap large...

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. ------------ At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."...

Now that would be the topper to maker this cake even grosser! :doh:

... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. ...people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ' em. ...when the pastor...

This looks really gross but I hear it taste awesome! Good halloween party dessert or just a funny trick to play on ppl Serving Size: 24 Notes: This is a fun cake! It might look gross, but it does taste good! Ingredients: 1 (18 oz.) box spice or german chocolate cake mix 1 (18 oz.)...

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very...

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack." Key work BACKPACK.......not parachute! lol

AMEN!

Most I have emailed to me through jesusanswers.com .... or just type in google..."clean christian funnies"