As a Calvinist, we believe that we are all sinners, completely unable to approach the Lord because of our fallen nature (as per Romans 3.). God has to make the first move and step in and turn our heart of stone to a heart of flesh, changing our very nature and will to be one with His own, and giving us faith and the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us throughout our life. And because our will has been turned to God, we willingly (now) put off sin so we can be conformed to the image of Christ. Believing our sin, in total, has been nailed to the tree IN NO WAY means we go soft on sin. If anything, it is the opposite. It is the most humbling feeling I have, knowing that Christ suffered horrible torture and humiliations for ME, and to even suggest that we would make light of it, or think of it as “easy grace” is really low of you to suggest.
Indeed, I myself was a Calvinist during my Congregationalist time, or rather more of a semi-Calvinist; I never believed in double-predestination but my Calvinist view was driven by a recognition of God’s omnipotence and sovereignity, thus I was somewhere between Wesley and Calvin theologically.
Now, interestingly, Orthodox synergism and other traditional synergist interpretations was not as different from Calvinist monergism as I thought, and is very close to Lutheranism, in that it is genuinely recognized that the activity of the Holy Spirit allows us to make a choice. The only difference is that we believe our love for God is voluntary and He allows for that love to be voluntary, since love that is forced upon us would be ontologically different from voluntary love. God is omniscient and omnipotent; he knows who will love Him; due to his omnipotence, that does give Him the power to enable us to make a choice. Likewise God also wants us to chose to love each other. But it is the Holy Spirit that allows us to make the choice - we do not save ourselves as Pelagius taught; Pelagius was entirely wrong, rather, it is through the grace of the Holy Spirit that we have the ability to recognize the sacrifice Christ our True God made for us of his own free will on the Cross in order to save us from the deadly fruit of our own sin, and the Holy Spirit allows us to respond to God in love and thanksgiving and also encourages us to love one another.
Pelagius reduced Christ to a savior-by-example, which is such an insidious error, in that it amounts to an attack on the Incarnation itself, since if Christ only demonstrated how to be saved, it weakens the case for his deity. Why would God need to offer Himself as a pure and unblemished sacrifice in the person of the Son and Logos if He was merely showing us an example? Under Pelagianism, one could not say that Christ had risen from the dead, trampling down death by death..
This is not to say that the behavior of Christ our True God is not exemplary, it absolutely is, and it reveals to us the love of the Father, and in turn we are filled with this divine love through God in the person of the Holy Spirit, who is our Comforter and Paraclete, who enables us to be aware of sin, and to be aware of salvation, and to respond to Christ in a meaningful way.
But whether or not one is Calvinist or Lutheran or Methodist or Orthodox or Roman Catholic or any other Nicene Christian, we worship one God: the Father, Son and Holy Ghost - the Holy Trinity, that unity of perfect love, one God abiding in three coequal, coeternal and uncreated persons, the Father unoriginate, the son Only Begotten, the Holy Spirit proceeding from the Father, eternally, uncreated, all holy, and undivided. And we are called to make ourselves a living icon of the Trinity in our relationship with our families, with our brethren in the Church, and with our neighbors and with humanity as a whole. However, what saves us ultimately is what Christ did for us, in His triumph over death on the Cross. It is the victory over death on the Cross that I am grateful for, as you are, and it makes me aware of my sin, for the same reasons you described (for although the Orthodox do not believe in penal substitutionary atonement, we do believe that Christ suffered and died in order to save us from our sins; sacrificing HImself and offering His life a ransom for many, before rising from the dead, so that death would be swallowed up in victory; the only aspect we disagree with is that we do not believe this was done to placate God the Father who would otherwise be angry with us; God is infinitely loving, the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross rather being necessary as a means of correcting the extreme defect in humanity introduced by sin.
And thus it is absolutely the case that Christ suffered torture and humiliations for me, and thus my love for him is immense.
It is not a coincidence that God created man on the sixth day in Genesis chapter 1, but rather is prophetic, and the Gospel of John in its exquisite first chapter makes clear the prophetic context of Genesis 1 (without rejecting it as also being literal).