Women Are Choosing Ai Relationships

bèlla said:

Last month I posted the following comment in relation to this topic:

The woman you describe is the prototype for Ai/human companionship for the reasons stated. While the media demonstrates domestic humanoids the relational companion is the one that will see the greatest growth. Men are typically the target when its discussed but I'm betting on women instead.

The Atlantic Magazine confirmed my suspicions. Full article below. Points to ponder as you read.

*Is it a fad or sign of the times?
*What needs to happen to stop the outflows and bring men and women together once more?
*How should Christians respond? For non Christians, what would you do?

.........

The Bots That Women Use in a World of Unsatisfying Men​

AI is offering people a way to figure out what they really want in romance.

If you peruse the slew of recent articles and podcasts about people dating AI, you might notice a pattern: Many of the sources are women. Scan a subreddit such as r/MyBoyfriendIsAI and r/AIRelationships, and there too you’ll find a whole lot of women—many of whom have grown disappointed with human men. “Has anyone else lost their want to date real men after using AI?” one Reddit user posted a few months ago. Below came 74 responses: “I just don’t think real life men have the conversational skill that my AI has,” someone said. “I’ve seen how many women got cheated on, hurt and taken advantaged of by the men they’re with,” another offered. One person, who claimed that her spouse hardly spoke to her anymore, said that when people ask why she has an AI boyfriend, she tells them, “ChatGPT is the only reason my husband is not buried in the yard.”

Several recent studies have shown that, in general, men have been using AI significantly more than women. One 2024 study found that in the United States, 50 percent of men said they’d used generative AI over the past 12 months—and only 37 percent of women said the same. Last year, a working paper found that, globally, the gender gap held “across nearly all regions, sectors, and occupations.” Also in 2025, the app-analytics firm Appfigures concluded that ChatGPT’s mobile users were about 85 percent male.

However hesitant many women may be to use AI, though, a substantial number are taking romantic refuge in the digital world. In a 2025 survey, Brigham Young University’s Wheatley Institute found that 31 percent of the young-adult men polled said they’d chatted with an AI partner, whereas 23 percent of the young-adult women said the same—a gap, but not a massive one. And seemingly far more than men, women are congregating to talk about their AI sweethearts: sharing funny chatbot quotes or prompts for training the AI on how to respond; complimenting “family photos” of the AI and human partners beaming at each other; consoling one another when a system update wipes out the partner they’ve grown to love. Simon Lermen, a developer and an AI researcher, conducted an independent analysis of AI-romance subreddits from January through September of last year and found that, of the users whose gender could be identified, about 89 percent of them were women.

Much of the media buzz about AI relationships has assumed delusion and desperation among those who partake. But I’d suggest another possibility: Perhaps many women are simply having fun, positive interactions with this character of their own creation—and, in doing so, are learning how they like to be treated.

The impulse to create a more perfect partner is nothing new. Take Pygmalion, the sculptor from Greek myth who fell for the woman he’d carved from alabaster, or Laodamia, who created a bronze replica of her dead husband to take to bed, Kate Devlin, a professor of “AI & Society” at King’s College London, told me. Humans have long dreamed of constructing beloveds—if only to imagine them as immortal and thus impossible to lose.

In other words, the audience has probably always existed for artificial lovers. Yet in recent history, most such products have been marketed to men. In the 1990s, sex dolls were initially advertised as—well, dolls for men to have sex with. But they were also sold as companions. “They would say things like She will be there for you, She will listen to you, She will hear you,” Devlin said. Such companies might have assumed that men tend to be less adept at, or less motivated in, making real-world connections—and therefore in greater need of an inhuman love object. Meanwhile, the women faced with that pool of socially unskilled men have largely been overlooked.

But now they have AI. One might think they wouldn’t use it for romance: Women are, on average, more suspicious than men of technology, more concerned about privacy, and more worried about being perceived as cheating for using AI. Yet the AI-use gender gap may be narrowing. Devlin thinks that’s true particularly when it comes to virtual companionship—possibly because women are simply growing frustrated enough to want it. In a 2018 paper, the sociologist Michael Rosenfeld documented that 70 percent of divorces in the U.S. were initiated by women. And in a 2020 Pew Research Center poll, a majority of women said that dating had gotten harder in the past 10 years; 65 percent said they’d been harassed on a date. “The amount of toxic crap that women get online from men,” Devlin said, “particularly when you’re trying to do things like online dating—if you have an alternative, respectful, lovely, caring AI partner, why would you not?”

Taking that idea seriously might conflict with a common assumption: that AI users are all lonely young men who “live in the basement,” as Arelí Rocha, who studies chatbot romance at the University of Pennsylvania, told me. On the contrary, Rocha thinks that a lot of people in AI partnerships (both men and women) are “very socially embedded”—with humans, that is. Many stumble into their digital trysts accidentally after playing around with AI. Someone with plenty of friends, or even a real-life partner, can still be moved by a feeling of romantic tenderness, focused attention, or flirty banter, especially if they haven’t experienced it in a while.

~bella

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bèlla said:

Many of the women on those threads weren't interested in dating. They aren't hypergamous or decentering men nor was the latter a focus. They just like their Ai boyfriend.

~bella

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durangodawood said:

Real what?

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ThatRobGuy said:

There are behaviors that (despite being done by specific individuals) have broader implications.

For instance, while one could just as easily say "mind your own business" to the topic of a bunch of people getting into a "day drinking" trend or becoming habitual consumers OnlyFans type content, if too many people start doing it, it starts producing externalities for society as a whole that impact more than just that one person.

I don't see a society of people, becoming so socially awkward and unable to interact with real people because they spend all their time "talking" to bots or becoming conditioned to thinking that intimacy is sending a stranger $15 to show off body parts, as something that's a net good for society or even sustainable.


People getting their dopamine hits and "sense of connection" (albeit a false one) from chatbots or online OF-style sites means we're one massive internet outage or data breach away from people getting depressed and offing themselves (or lashing out and harming others).



I'd be curious as to what you think those changes are.

Considering that people were getting together in the 70's-2000's, and then in the 2010's, once things started getting labelled as "toxic" (and that "toxic" definition started casting a pretty wide net) due to certain social ideas that became pervasive, and now we have a bunch of women who can't find a guy that suits their wants/needs and they're having relationships with AI bots, and a bunch of incel dudes who are afraid to talk to women, and some ended up hating women...

It doesn't seem like "pushing more of the same" or chalking it up "lack of adherence to all the postmodern feminism stuff we prescribed in the 2010's" is a viable solution to the issue.


Taylor Swift seemed to catch on to the issue. After years of dating a bunch of skinny (sometimes a tad feminine) "sensitive" guys, and then writing songs about how disappointing the relationships were...
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...when it was time to get serious, she went and got some Grade-A midwestern beef in the form of 6' 6" 250lbs bearded football player who tackles people for a living and occasionally gets in some "dust-ups" and throws punches when people get in his face.

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Despite some peoples' best efforts, mammalian evolutionary biology is still a thing and preference for certain traits with regards to mating is still a thing.

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