I just want to talk about my current struggles

I've been struggling with PMO for a long time now. It was originally just MO but has now moved to PMO. I've talked about this struggle of mine before on here but it still hasn't gone away. I dont like it when i give in because i know its not what God wants but i am just an addict to this sin. I've thought about talking to my pastor and tbh with you i want to but I don't like being the person to reach out i would much rather have him reach out. I just wish i didn't struggle with this. I just recently got put on a committee at my church which makes me want this sin gone even more because i don't want to be living in sin while serving my church. I try to remember what Jesus did on the cross and how if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us but its like when im willfully giving in knowing its tough not to think all these negative thoughts and feelings towards myelf and my relationship with God. I pray anytime after I give in that this will be the one I break free from but reguardless his will be done. Theres other issues going on too but this is one that I'm writing about. If anyone could chime in and give me some help or insight or something I would appreciate it thanks

Leviathan-at-play said:

I would presume there are many plans out there, accountability apps, etc. So find those and put something in place.

And never forget all sin is forgiven. Was forgiven for you before you were even born. Everything you describe suggests to me your heart-compass is God-oriented.

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The problem is it seems like i have tried so many different things to beat this and nothing has worked. I just relapsed after a 13 day streak. I just lack self control for it. I can only hope this previous streak was a sign that things will get better. Still i wish i could talk to my pastor about this but i just dont like reaching out. I'm trying to find a way to bring up that i would like to talk to him it's just hard for me to.

Leviathan-at-play said:

If you made it 13 days then I'd wager you're already well in the upper echelon of success stories against this very pervasive and common issue. So go easy on yourself The perspective shouldn't be "I failed after 13-days" but instead perhaps "Hey! How did I make it 13-days without failing?" I'd look deeply into what derailed you... some brief exposure from TV/movies/Internet? Might there be a way to restrict or prevent whatever the trigger was?

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I think i know what caused this relapse i dont think it was any type of media i was having a certain type of dream adn when i woke up i started to consciously give into M. Then later in the day when i was going to sleep i couldn't fall asleep for some reason. Then i eventually did give in.

Leviathan-at-play said:

How about approaches to "gamify" or rewire your dopamine responses... e.g. how about setting up a journal or calendar, with days split between AM and PM, and each half-day that you succeed you mark a nice rewarding . I've heard some addiction counsellors mention the benefits of even very small, rewarding steps like this.

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Are there any apps that can do that?

Leviathan-at-play said:

With great respect to probably most pastors who might have minimal-to-none psychological or behavioural training, their advice and wisdom here might be limited to pointing to relevant biblical passages or to prayer. Of course these are necessary components in your solution, but God also gave us psychological disciplines and people who've studied them. So don't neglect professionals. As you've said raising this with your pastor is difficult and, frankly, could color the fundamental relationship you have with him, so personally I'd seek external, professional help (even if just via books, AI research, articles) alongside prayer and scripture.
Praying for you Anon0 - keep up the good fight! Again, an unrepentant sinner wouldn't even be here having this discussion.

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It's not that i dont mind or want to talk about it and he knows about some of my struggles but its just hard to actually reach out. Also thank you for praying