- Feb 5, 2002
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(Meant in a spirit of light-heartedness) 
Would you feel welcome or nervous walking into this church? I bet heaven smells like pancakes...bacon, and Hoppes No. 9.
Patton: I want a prayer... A weather prayer.
Third Army Chaplain: A weather prayer, sir?
Patton: Yes... Let's see if we can't get God helping us with this thing.
Third Army Chaplain: I don't know how this is going to be received, General....praying for good weather so we can kill our fellow man?
Patton: Well, I can assure you, sir, because of my intimate relations with the Almighty, if you write a good prayer, we'll have good weather. I expect that prayer within an hour.
Third Army Chaplain: Yes, sir.
(Chaplain’s prayer): Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee of Thy great goodness to restrain this immoderate weather with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for battle. Graciously harken to us as soldiers who call upon Thee that, armed with Thy power, we may advance from victory to victory, and crush the oppression and wickedness of our enemies, and establish Thy justice among men and nations. Amen.
Patton: (after the Chaplain has delivered the weather prayer, and the weather has cleared) Go find me that Chaplain!... He stands in good with the Lord, and I want him decorated!
Would you feel welcome or nervous walking into this church? I bet heaven smells like pancakes...bacon, and Hoppes No. 9.
Patton: I want a prayer... A weather prayer.
Third Army Chaplain: A weather prayer, sir?
Patton: Yes... Let's see if we can't get God helping us with this thing.
Third Army Chaplain: I don't know how this is going to be received, General....praying for good weather so we can kill our fellow man?
Patton: Well, I can assure you, sir, because of my intimate relations with the Almighty, if you write a good prayer, we'll have good weather. I expect that prayer within an hour.
Third Army Chaplain: Yes, sir.
(Chaplain’s prayer): Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee of Thy great goodness to restrain this immoderate weather with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for battle. Graciously harken to us as soldiers who call upon Thee that, armed with Thy power, we may advance from victory to victory, and crush the oppression and wickedness of our enemies, and establish Thy justice among men and nations. Amen.
Patton: (after the Chaplain has delivered the weather prayer, and the weather has cleared) Go find me that Chaplain!... He stands in good with the Lord, and I want him decorated!
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