Prayers for my sister-in-law (advice welcomed too)

Apologies in advance if any of this info is repetitive. My wife's younger sister is oblivious to the fact that she's entrenched herself in an abusive relationship (verbally and emotionally we know for sure, unsure if it's abusive in any other ways). She's been with this guy maybe three years and has an 18-month-old daughter with him. She's nominally Catholic, only going through the religious motions because of how hard my wife is trying to bring her back into the Church. My wife and her parents are trying to get her to see how messed up this relationship is. He's 11 years her junior (23-24, so he's immature but also just not smart in any conceivable way). They were living together in Los Angeles when he decided he was going to move back to Arizona and finish getting his commercial pilots license. He wanted to move her and their daughter up here where we live ~500 miles north of LA. He rented them a one bedroom apartment about a mile away from us so she has our support in a lot of ways, she's completely dependent on him financially. He pays the rent, the bills, food, etc. But he weaponizes that responsibility by threatening to withhold if she does something he disapproves of (like finding a job of her own).

For a long time my wife and I were trying to encourage them to get married for their daughter's sake and in hopes that he would convert to Catholicism and my SIL would revert/convert as well. But as times gone by things have just deteriorated instead. We're suspicious his motives behind this current arrangement (I'm cynical so I assume he "sent her away" and moved to Phoenix so he could philander) cause as far as we can tell he hasn't re-entered flight school.

She's taken a gig nannying for a family who just moved to town and joined our parish. The upside is the mom is very disciplined, especially with the faith. For example, she gave my SIL a list of prayers she wants her to pray with the kids whenever she's watching them. These are things my SIL wasn't even aware of, that's how poorly she's formed in the faith (really not at all).

Anyway, I dunno what the point of me putting this whole story out there is other than context for the prayers I'm asking for. I mean, obviously God's will be done. IMO I think she's given the relationship a fair shot and it's just getting more toxic, to the point where it could start harming their daughter. I think she needs to be freed from it, then maybe she'll have the space in her life to really discover the faith and meet someone based on the morals and values that come from the faith rather than her own backwards secular values. Which I would think would be best for both of them.

If you guys have any thoughts or advice as well, I welcome it.

Thanks all.

Michie said:

Well it seems like a God wink (as they call it) with the nannying position and saying prayers with the young ones on her charge. I really don’t have any advise except to say that she may need to learn the hard way. I mean the guy is 24. He has a lot of wild oats to sow and seems to have no interest in the faith or family life. She’s in her mid 30’s and ready to settle but I do not think she needs to settle with him. With the verbal and emotional abuse, along with threatening to withhold financial support… how many more red flags do you need? If she were smart there would be a financial agreement already set since he is the father of her child. I pray that God intervenes and grants her some wisdom and discernment.

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That's more or less what I said! My wife and I both think her being exposed to a well-functioning Catholic family with faith, discipline, and true love at work between them all will hopefully recalibrate her compass.

Thanks for those prayers @Michie, that's exactly what she needs.

Michie said:

I’m praying and please keep us all updated. I’m pretty invested in all you have been going throw and I think your story is pretty amazing.

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Thanks, and likewise. Your fam's been through the wringer, praying the Lord delivers your family from their trials and showers your family with blessings. You all deserve it.