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Women should take their husband's name

Michie

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Defending the name change in the light of eternity​


This question has taken on a personal urgency as a friend is at an unexpected impasse on the issue with his fiancée.

Perhaps he should have expected it: among unmarried American women, just 33% say they would take their spouse’s last name. Major publications like the Atlantic dismiss the practice as a ‘patriarchal relic’. Prominent barristers attack patrilineal naming on X and get 30,000 likes:

Dr Charlotte Proudman@DrProudman
A message to pregnant women — please give the baby your surname. You carried a baby for 9 months, gave birth, and will be responsible for that child for the rest of your life. When you’re registering the baby ask yourself: why is the father’s surname more important than yours?
1:23 PM · Aug 9, 2023 · 5.75M Views

3.98K Replies · 3.1K Reposts · 30.2K Likes

Greece, as part of legal reforms to promote gender equality, went so far as to change their Civil Code to mandate that marriage does not alter the legal surname of either spouse.

It is now forbidden for a Greek wife to legally change her surname to that of her husband—even if she wants to.

This is not a superficial social change. The implications run deep: the nature of the family, relations between men and women, and the structure of civilization itself. The few studies that have been done on the issue reveal profound effects: marriages in which the woman underwent marital surname change last 60% longer, for example.

The debate over whether a woman should adopt her husband’s surname is now framed as a matter of personal preference, a fleeting negotiation between two autonomous selves. But this reduction misunderstands the stakes. It is by ancient, deep dynamics that the question should be evaluated.

Continued below.
 

JSRG

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The problem I see with this article is it takes too Anglocentric of an analysis. Sure, in English countries the tradition is for a woman to take the husband's name upon marriage. But plenty of countries--and yes, Christian countries at that--have longstanding practices of the wife not taking their husband's name, like Spain, Italy, and Iceland. In addition, the children in some of those don't just take the father's surname. In Spain a child takes the surname of both parents (people normally have two surnames in that country; their first surname comes from their father, and the second from their mother), and in Iceland people's surnames usually entirely different from their parents, or even from their siblings, as the tradition is to take one of their parent's first name and attach -son to it for a boy and -dottir to it for a daughter (e.g. if someone named Stefan had a son and a daughter and they took the surname from him, the son's surname would be Stefansson and the daughter's surname would be Stefansdottir).

It thus seems to incorrectly assume that a woman taking her husband's surname was a practice everywhere in Christendom when it wasn't. Heck, from a little (admittedly cursory) research, it seems like surnames themselves only started getting popular in Western Europe after the 10th century AD and didn't become universal until much later.
 
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