Young women are leaving the Church for a reason. Men, let's do better.

Young men are going to church in increasing numbers, according to recent data, and women in the same age bracket are increasingly irreligious, which is a markedly unusual demographic shift.

So, why is this, and what is happening? What kind of churches are these men flocking to, and why are they going? Those are interesting questions, and there are several layers to explore.

But among some young men, the Holy Spirit indeed appears to be moving powerfully.

Various narratives are swirling today about disaffected and demoralized young men, but what seems clear is that many of them are yearning for something more, and they’ve found the broader culture to be empty. In May, The Wall Street Journal published a moving story about how churches are ministering to struggling boys and young men who are seeking a godly sense of manhood to inhabit. For these young men, I rejoice and pray that they encounter God, that they continue to deepen their faith, and be transformed.

Concurrently, I’m burdened for many young women, many of whom have thrown their hands up, exasperated and wounded, and they can’t be a part of churches anymore.

And before anyone calls me a virtue-signaling “white knight,” I’ll readily acknowledge that women sin as much as men, and many virtuous men struggle to confront particular sins toward which women are more often inclined. I’m sure some women are leaving churches for self-centered reasons. And as for female false teachers, bloggers, podcasters and authors? Like their male counterparts, they must be resisted as the sheep-devouring wolves they are.

Continued below.

Women have been leaving the Church at rising rates for more than a decade. For years, men were the primary defectors, but for the first time in history, women are walking away even faster.

Six years ago, I began noticing this shift. The pandemic accelerated the trend, and the numbers have not recovered.

I stumbled upon this data while researching the opioid crisis — tens of thousands dying each year, many from “deaths of despair.” These are people caught in generational patterns of addiction, mental illness, broken family systems, and hopelessness. Having lost my mother-in-law to addiction, I often wondered what might have saved her — or my husband and his sister from the neglect and trauma of their childhoods (which I wrote about in Leaving Cloud 9).

As I pored over research, one correlation stopped me cold: those who attended church weekly had dramatically lower rates of addiction, depression, anxiety, divorce, and loneliness. They enjoyed stronger marriages, deeper friendships, better health, and richer community lives. They were more generous and more connected.

Continued below.