How to talk to a particular family member about Jesus

peaceful-forest · Dec 23, 2025

I have asked advice about this particular family member before. (You can look at the thread here: https://www.christianforums.com/threads/bible-recommendations-for-a-family-member.8336222/ )

I'm concerned about him. He's in his 20s, he has made very bad financial decisions, he is controlled by his girlfriend, and he has a baby. I was hoping I could talk to him about Jesus. I don't know what to say or how to get the conversation going.

I have concerns about him giving up on life and committing suicide.

Maria Billingsley · Dec 23, 2025

I believe the best way to introduce anyone to their Creator is to ask them if they would like to know about their Creator. The rest of His story comes in due time.
Blessings

timothyu · Dec 23, 2025

God struggles with us too. The concept behind giving up control is not to bow out, but to stop and see where God takes it if the person is willing.

PloverWing · Dec 23, 2025

If I were going to open a conversation with someone about my faith, I'd probably start with the most open-ended questions I could think of. The questions would depend on how much I knew about the person and their background (is it your brother? one of your in-laws? your third cousin once removed?), but something like: "Do you practice a religious faith?" or, "Did you go to church when you were a kid?" or, "When I'm stressed, one of the things I like to do is meditate [or, sit in silent prayer, or some other calming spiritual practice that you follow]; do you have anything like that that works for you?" Something open-ended that gets a conversation going, and gets the person to talk about their spiritual beliefs and practices -- or disbeliefs, especially if they've been hurt by the church in the past. Then I follow up with more questions about whatever they've said. No judgment, no sales pitch, just genuine curiosity about how they do, or don't, experience the divine.

Once we've built up a lot of history and a lot of mutual respect (like, over hours or weeks), I'd feel free to say things like "As a Christian, my approach to that is X", or "Christians try to do Y in that situation", or "Jesus taught Z about that", bringing in my own beliefs and practices. But much listening to the other person before I talk about my own beliefs and practices.

At least, that's how I've approached it with friends and family. I've had some good conversations that way.

St_Worm2 · Dec 23, 2025

Hello Peaceful-Forest, I'm very sorry to hear about all that you are going through with your family member right now!

The advice that I have to give you've probably heard before, but here goes. First of all, pray for him, for his salvation (first and foremost), and do so regularly (and ask others to, as well, if you want to). I didn't become a believer until I was 30, but I do believe that my mother, and her ladies' Bible Study/Prayer group (who prayed for my salvation for years) played an important part in my finally coming to saving faith in the Lord Jesus.

Praying for your family member, and for you too!

God bless you!!

--David

St_Worm2 · Dec 23, 2025

As far as talking to him about the Lord and his great need for the Savior, that can be pretty tough with certain people, especially when they are family members. So, I'll second the idea that PloverWing broached above by recommending the use of leading, open-ended questions, as well as the following book on witnessing/evangelism (that talks at length about this approach to witnessing) because I believe that it may prove to be very useful to you

The book is called, Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions. Among many other things, this book will help you know how to be a better/more confident witness, especially with those who are difficult to witness to. Here is the link to the book.

~Amazon.com

Praying for you and for your family member!

God bless you!!

--David

jacks · Dec 23, 2025

Since it is near Christmas, you might ask him if he would like to go to a Christmas Eve service. You can suggest it more as a form of entertainment, than "going to church." These services are usually pretty light on any heavy stuff and tend to just be a positive family event.

St_Worm2 · Dec 23, 2025

Hello again Peaceful-Forest, finally, if you believe that your family member may be giving up on life and considering suicide too, I think that this is the time to emphasize the "bad news" to him, as this will help to make sure that he has a true/deep understanding of why the "Good News" and coming to saving faith in the Lord Jesus is so vital for him to understand and do, before it is too late (e.g. John 3:18; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11). IOW, make sure that he is clear about what is waiting for him on the other side of the grave/in the eternity to come if he chooses to continue in unbelief and die outside of Christ, that it is FAR worse than anything that he'll ever have to face here!!

--David
p.s. - I should qualify one of my statements above by also saying that talking about the "Good News" is always important to do too, even, or perhaps especially when we are emphasizing the "bad news" to someone (which the verse and the passage that I posited above both do nicely, I think .. talk about both the good and bad news, that is).

PloverWing · Dec 23, 2025

peaceful-forest, is this indeed your son we're talking about? If so, then the beginning questions of the conversation wouldn't have to be quite so blindly open-ended as I sketched out before. Is this a person who grew up in the church but then stopped attending? If so, do you know why -- he doesn't believe it's true, or doesn't think it's important, or just doesn't get around to it, etc.? That might be something to explore, though still I'd try to be nonjudgmental if I could.

You said he has a baby. Is he actively in the baby's life? Is his girlfriend religious, and if so, which religion? I've observed that sometimes people who don't quite get around to going to church suddenly become interested in church when they're raising a child. There might be a conversation there.

St_Worm2 · Dec 24, 2025

That's on me PloverWing, I'm not sure why I assumed that Peaceful-Forest was talking about her son. I'll edit my posts to fix that right now. I'm sorry about that Peaceful-Forest!

--David

timf · Dec 24, 2025

You might ask him if he might be open to hearing about Jesus. He would probably not be. You can then say you understand why he might be reluctant. Jesus has been presented in so many poor ways that most people are gun shy. Once he can see that you are sensitive to his apprehensions, you might wan to clearly describe the love and concern you have for him.

Many people focus on church (which is often boring even if it is understood) or going to heaven (which can seem distant and abstract). There are benefits in this life such as having access to wisdom and being free from the compulsive influence of the flesh.

You might suggest that he dabble with Christianity such as praying for wisdom. James tells us this is available to all who ask without doubting.

There is a video tract (19 minutes) about Christianity he might be willing to watch.

https://christianpioneer.com/videos/video%20tract%20christianity%20comp.mp4

timothyu · Dec 24, 2025

Or ask if he understands why the world is backwards in its ways and what the solution is.. if reversing it may help.

peaceful-forest · Dec 24, 2025

PloverWing said:
peaceful-forest, is this indeed your son we're talking about? If so, then the beginning questions of the conversation wouldn't have to be quite so blindly open-ended as I sketched out before. Is this a person who grew up in the church but then stopped attending? If so, do you know why -- he doesn't believe it's true, or doesn't think it's important, or just doesn't get around to it, etc.? That might be something to explore, though still I'd try to be nonjudgmental if I could.

You said he has a baby. Is he actively in the baby's life? Is his girlfriend religious, and if so, which religion? I've observed that sometimes people who don't quite get around to going to church suddenly become interested in church when they're raising a child. There might be a conversation there.

No, not a son. I don't have any children.

He's a family member. I was hoping to keep him somewhat anonymous in the internet.

He's never grown up in church. His parents aren't serious about Jesus. His dad believes in God but is too selfish to accept Jesus' payment for his sins. His mother holds some Catholic beliefs and practices witchcraft. She gets mad if anyone tries to tell her why she shouldn't be practicing witchcraft.

About 10 years ago, I gave the family member a Bible (and other family members also received a Bible). I don't know if he's ever read it or not.

He's active in the baby's life. I have been suspicious that the girlfriend practices witchcraft. She came from a bad, broken family. I also think she is blackmailing him on something and that is why he's so controlled by her.

St_Worm2 · Dec 24, 2025

peaceful-forest said:
I have asked advice about this particular family member before. (You can look at the thread here: https://www.christianforums.com/threads/bible-recommendations-for-a-family-member.8336222/ )

I'm concerned about him. He's in his 20s, he has made very bad financial decisions, he is controlled by his girlfriend, and he has a baby. I was hoping I could talk to him about Jesus. I don't know what to say or how to get the conversation going.

I have concerns about him giving up on life and committing suicide.

Hello again Peaceful-Forest, you may find quite a number of helpful things at the following website (concerning witnessing, evangelism, and apologetics) as I believe that it is the online ministry home of the evangelist Ray Comfort.

~Living Waters | Inspiring. Equipping. Fulfilling.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

--David
p.s. - here's an additional site that should be useful too (from our friends at the GotQuestions.org ministry: About Us - Compelling Truth

rebornfree · Dec 24, 2025

You could pray for openings to talk about the Lord and maybe ask him if he would like prayer. You could pray for his relationship with his girlfriend, bringing up their baby and for the provision of their needs. This could lead to a conversation about Jesus loving us and providing for us if we believe in Him. At the appropriate point he would need to hear about turning from sin and accepting the Lord's death in his place, but that might not be in the first conversation.
I would encourage him to read one of the gospel so that he can learn about Jesus's life, death and resurrection. Meanwhile pray for his safety and that he will be open to the gospel.

Do you have help lines for suicidal people where you live? We have The Samaritans in the UK. Sometimes it's good to have someone. outside the situation, who listens and is trained in how to handle distressed people.

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How to talk to a particular family member about Jesus

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