Is it wrong to be realistic?

Kjelete said:

I grew up in Norway, the opposite of the life for me in every way. I never complained. But I always wanted to live like jews or muslims for example, have girls on my lap and watch people sing. I realise I can`t fake believing in a god, so my dream can never be. When my niece was very young, she wanted us to watch a movie together, which we did, but the entire time I felt strongly pain. I think she didn`t give closeness, and her mother`s brother came in during the movie with a sexual undertone. God knows why, but it`s how Norwegians are, kinda ruined the entire thing. I know the world is slowly turning bad, so I shouldn`t expect to watch a movie together like that in peace.

Is it depressing to think that nothing good will ever happen in real life, and there`s no heaven no matter how much you pray?

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That's a sad state of affairs ... but your future is not. The longing in your heart for familial warmth, for 'goodness', for hope is there for a reason. I would relate that to the God-shaped hole in your heart. It's true one cannot fake faith ... but is there anything in you or your past that blocks that faith from emerging? It seems you pine for it but can't receive it yet?

'Goodness' only exists if God exists ... otherwise 'goodness' is just a subjective arbitrarily defined state by us human beings who would be nothing more than a clump of cells in a universe ruled by chaos and the laws of physics, void of any meaning.

Have you read any of the Bible? E.g. the Gospel of John or Genesis?

Don't settle for the nothingness that now seems to define your world, your future holds much better perspectives.

Kjelete said:

I grew up in Norway, the opposite of the life for me in every way. I never complained.

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My ancestors came from Norway to the US And I went back for a visit as part of a job I had in the US

Kjelete said:

But I always wanted to live like jews or muslims for example, have girls on my lap and watch people sing.

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What does that have to to with Jews, Muslims, or Norway??

Kjelete said:

I realise I can`t fake believing in a god, so my dream can never be. When my niece was very young, she wanted us to watch a movie together, which we did, but the entire time I felt strongly pain. I think she didn`t give closeness, and her mother`s brother came in during the movie with a sexual undertone. God knows why, but it`s how Norwegians are, kinda ruined the entire thing. I know the world is slowly turning bad, so I shouldn`t expect to watch a movie together like that in peace.

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Culture outside the Bible tends to have a lot of bad ideas. That is the world that we live in since the fall of Adam. The Gospel lifts fallen humanity above our sinful nature, above defective culture. 2 Cor 5 "If any is in Christ Jesus he is turned into a new creation"

Kjelete said:

Is it depressing to think that nothing good will ever happen in real life, and there`s no heaven no matter how much you pray?

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Yes that is like being a pilot of an airplane and choosing to nose dive into the ground.

Better to look up.

The Bible , Christianity is NOT about failing in a more happy way. It is about eternal life, streets of gold,

Heaven is like a great big potluck with lots of friends (a poor approximation on my part I know)

Jesus does not just "offer" eternal life, He suffered , was tortured and died -- willingly so the conditions for your full and free salvation can be given to you as a gift.

It does not get any easier than that.