With Respect...in Fellowship

RamiC · Dec 8, 2025

I am a High Church Anglican, married for over twenty years to a man who survived severe mistreatment at a Catholic boarding school run by The Society of Jesus in the 1950's. My husband has been offerred an in person apology from the current Provincial Superior, and he is intending to travel to London to meet him on the 19th of December, in order to receive it.

My husband and I would both appreciate the prayers of any Catholic members of Christian Forums regarding this meeting, for his protection (and my own) as we prepare and travel, and especially for his first encounter with any Jesuit since he left school. I will be going to London with him, but he has said that he wishes to actually experience the meeting alone. This is the bravest thing I believe I have ever personally witnessed someone doing for the Christian faith, and I trust that some who are seeing this post can understand how I hope my life partner will feel Jesus' love and see true recognition of past wrongs.

No judgement of your Church is intended by this post, my own has as much to be ashamed of in terms of letting God down over children entrusted to it's care.

Bob Crowley · Dec 8, 2025

All the best to you and your husband as you travel to London.

I once shared digs with a chap who was in an Anglican establishment (Enoggera Boys Home in Brisbane) way back in the 1960's. There was a pedophile on the loose there too, and he was named in the (Australian) Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse.

I don't think anybody ever really gets over it, regardless of the offending institution.

It will certainly be a challenge.

Gnarwhal · Dec 8, 2025

RamiC said:
I am a High Church Anglican, married for over twenty years to a man who survived severe mistreatment at a Catholic boarding school run by The Society of Jesus in the 1950's. My husband has been offerred an in person apology from the current Provincial Superior, and he is intending to travel to London to meet him on the 19th of December, in order to receive it.

My husband and I would both appreciate the prayers of any Catholic members of Christian Forums regarding this meeting, for his protection (and my own) as we prepare and travel, and especially for his first encounter with any Jesuit since he left school. I will be going to London with him, but he has said that he wishes to actually experience the meeting alone. This is the bravest thing I believe I have ever personally witnessed someone doing for the Christian faith, and I trust that some who are seeing this post can understand how I hope my life partner will feel Jesus' love and see true recognition of past wrongs.

No judgement of your Church is intended by this post, my own has as much to be ashamed of in terms of letting God down over children entrusted to it's care.

Prayers up for an all-around safe, warm, pleasant, and healing trip for everyone involved.

Michie · Dec 8, 2025

RamiC said:
I am a High Church Anglican, married for over twenty years to a man who survived severe mistreatment at a Catholic boarding school run by The Society of Jesus in the 1950's. My husband has been offerred an in person apology from the current Provincial Superior, and he is intending to travel to London to meet him on the 19th of December, in order to receive it.

My husband and I would both appreciate the prayers of any Catholic members of Christian Forums regarding this meeting, for his protection (and my own) as we prepare and travel, and especially for his first encounter with any Jesuit since he left school. I will be going to London with him, but he has said that he wishes to actually experience the meeting alone. This is the bravest thing I believe I have ever personally witnessed someone doing for the Christian faith, and I trust that some who are seeing this post can understand how I hope my life partner will feel Jesus' love and see true recognition of past wrongs.

No judgement of your Church is intended by this post, my own has as much to be ashamed of in terms of letting God down over children entrusted to it's care.

Please let us know how things go if you feel like discussing it. Prayers for you in the meantime.

RamiC · Dec 8, 2025

Bob Crowley said:
I don't think anybody ever really gets over it, regardless of the offending institution.

Getting over things is not the goal in life, getting Jesus onto things and leaving the world a bit better than we found it is the way.

I am hoping that we already did the hardest part getting this far.

longhair75 · Dec 8, 2025

My struggles with the Catholic Church have been well documented here in OBOB. Despite this, I return here for fellowship. Y'all are my friends

Michie · Dec 8, 2025

longhair75 said:
My struggles with the Catholic Church have been well documented here in OBOB. Despite this, I return here for fellowship. Y'all are my friends

You know you are always welcome Longhair.

RamiC · Dec 10, 2025

Thank you all for your support. :pray:

narnia59 · Dec 10, 2025

RamiC said:
I am a High Church Anglican, married for over twenty years to a man who survived severe mistreatment at a Catholic boarding school run by The Society of Jesus in the 1950's. My husband has been offerred an in person apology from the current Provincial Superior, and he is intending to travel to London to meet him on the 19th of December, in order to receive it.

My husband and I would both appreciate the prayers of any Catholic members of Christian Forums regarding this meeting, for his protection (and my own) as we prepare and travel, and especially for his first encounter with any Jesuit since he left school. I will be going to London with him, but he has said that he wishes to actually experience the meeting alone. This is the bravest thing I believe I have ever personally witnessed someone doing for the Christian faith, and I trust that some who are seeing this post can understand how I hope my life partner will feel Jesus' love and see true recognition of past wrongs.

No judgement of your Church is intended by this post, my own has as much to be ashamed of in terms of letting God down over children entrusted to it's care.

God bless you both and many prayers for you and for those representing the Catholic Church as well.

RamiC · Dec 15, 2025

There is a minor issue to deal with involving parking for the disabled at our local station. The computerized system has my husband registered with his previous car number plate. There is no way to tell the machine that you bought a new car. He is hoping to get this straightened out in person tomorrow, by talking to an actual person, who will hopefully understand the concept of "same person, different car". We will get there.

Thank you all again.

RileyG · Dec 15, 2025

God bless you!

RamiC · Dec 18, 2025

Well it is all peaceful here right now. There is not much I can do but hope, and I will post again in here after we get back.

Your support is appreciated.

Michie · Dec 18, 2025

Thanks for keeping us updated.

FaithT · Dec 18, 2025

RamiC said:
I am a High Church Anglican, married for over twenty years to a man who survived severe mistreatment at a Catholic boarding school run by The Society of Jesus in the 1950's. My husband has been offerred an in person apology from the current Provincial Superior, and he is intending to travel to London to meet him on the 19th of December, in order to receive it.

My husband and I would both appreciate the prayers of any Catholic members of Christian Forums regarding this meeting, for his protection (and my own) as we prepare and travel, and especially for his first encounter with any Jesuit since he left school. I will be going to London with him, but he has said that he wishes to actually experience the meeting alone. This is the bravest thing I believe I have ever personally witnessed someone doing for the Christian faith, and I trust that some who are seeing this post can understand how I hope my life partner will feel Jesus' love and see true recognition of past wrongs.

No judgement of your Church is intended by this post, my own has as much to be ashamed of in terms of letting God down over children entrusted to it's care.

I pray that all goes well for your husband. I’m saddened to once again read about something like this coming from the Catholic faith. Whenever I do,I consider leaving again.

RileyG · Dec 19, 2025

RamiC said:
Well it is all peaceful here right now. There is not much I can do but hope, and I will post again in here after we get back.

Your support is appreciated.

continued prayers!

RamiC · Dec 20, 2025

That was a good day. My husband ended up initially on his own in there, and then forty minutes after we had arranged to meet up again, he finally emerged to say that the Superior Provincial wanted to meet me, and that there was a lunch ready and waiting. Husband was utterly relaxed, and that was all I had to go on while lunch happened. It was all very peaceful, and the Superior Provincial was very gentle and calm.

The expectation is that they will see each other again, and my husband is glad that he went, without reservation. At this point neither of us can quite describe our reactions, it is like it was so big we cannot even work out all the ways it makes a difference yet. We just intend to get on with Christmas now, then work out what else to make of it after.

The Superior Provincial did say that he has met 5 other survivors in previous 3 years, and only 1 other was calm like DH. The rest were all angry. DH is the only one that still believes in God.

We did get a smooth journey, superb weather (that is a miracle in London in December), and we managed to evade the mad corners of "Festive Season", instead we carved out a walk along the South Bank Christmas Market, where there was very little happening, but the Christmas lights over the river banks look fantastic.

RamiC · Dec 20, 2025

FaithT said:
I pray that all goes well for your husband. I’m saddened to once again read about something like this coming from the Catholic faith. Whenever I do,I consider leaving again.

Thank you, but do not leave your faith over the abusers, it is not Jesus' fault that they exist.

FaithT · Dec 20, 2025

RamiC said:
Thank you, but do not leave your faith over the abusers, it is not Jesus' fault that they exist.

i just read (skimmed) about a meeting in Argentina with now grown ups who, when they were kids were lured into Opus Dei as basically servants to its adult members under the guise of education, then they were forced into child labor. all these terrible stories coming out of the CC upset me.

RamiC · Dec 20, 2025

FaithT said:
i just read (skimmed) about a meeting in Argentina with now grown ups who, when they were kids were lured into Opus Dei as basically servants to its adult members under the guise of education, then they were forced into child labor. all these terrible stories coming out of the CC upset me.

I do get it, as the OP says, my own church is no better.

Right now I am actually more impressed with RC than my own, but that is because we just encountered this nice guy in London.

FaithT · Dec 20, 2025

RamiC said:
I do get it, as the OP says, my own church is no better.

Right now I am actually more impressed with RC than my own, but that is because we just encountered this nice guy in London.

I guess no church or anything, really, is perfect.

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