Nicely written, non-contentious, and I appreciate both.
It isn't me for sure, I'll pass that on to Christ since I'm just following His lead. His heart and way of making other people's wrongs, right, and His compassion on me is all you are seeing, because I was a train wreck. I am glad you see I intend well, I will say that.
You say you have experienced God differently. I'm curious how you think I have "experienced him", or what you mean by it. Try to believe me when I say that my experience of God is of overwhelming love and mercy that does not bow to my perverse and rebellious 'old man' nature, that is still constantly pushing me to take over the direction of "my own" life (as if it were mine). Just to try to describe this brings more emotion up than I can handle, and I have to turn away from the attempt—not regret, but sorrow and pain all the same ...and joy at his sovereign driven-yet-tender purpose and at his magnificent own joy in it.
With incredibly manifest bluntness I can say it sounds as though you have experienced the Christ I quoted in the bottom of my first response to you, the one who has unending kindness and never turned away children, who forgives the worst sinners, who told the adulteress "neither do I condemn you," who said those who are forgiven much.. love much, and even while being outright murdered on a cross cried genuine pleas of mercy and forgiveness for those responsible for Him being brutally tortured for six hours on that cross to His death. That is unimaginable to me the more I contemplate and the longer I know Him, and the emotion you are mentioning sounds like it aligns with knowing this character trait of the Savior who is Christ the King of mercy and the Prince of peace.
Not that I don't write and think the same way, but your post mixes fact with reasoning —reasoning based on certain assumptions, among which is a kind of confidence in the status of "sentient sapient" as though we humans are (to exaggerate the point) the "purveyors of fact" (if we could only get it right). We are not. God's point-of-view is the only point-of-truth. You draw conclusions as to the status of the unborn or "before they knew enough to do right or wrong" according to your categories—hellbound and heavenbound, and according to whether they deserved it or not. It sounds to me, for example, that you consider an [apparently] innocent child to undergo hell would be unfair. But we have no valid notion of what hell would be like for that child, compared, for example, to hell for Hitler, or for me. Truth is, we don't know what even ourselves deserve—we are that ignorant of the depth of sin and quite what it means to be at enmity with God, before whose burning purity none of us could live. (It is that God who endures my never-ending drive to self-determine my own ends. I don't want to need him, which is one of things for which I desperately need him. Thank God that he doesn't take me as seriously as I take myself.)
This is going to be a doozy, but I'll knuckle under and oblige you since you do seem sincere and well intended in trying to follow what you feel is true, even if you don't like it (I'm assuming here you don't like the idea of babies in Hell). With this assumption in mind, let us consider what kind of person the great Judge, God Almighty, might consider you to be and what the condition of your heart was in if you considered someone who committed no deeds as worthy of Hell as someone who committed many evil deeds. Let's also keep in mind, while undergoing this exercise that no person great or small deserves to go to Heaven and be forgiven, which is why it is a "gift" and gifts cannot be earned (Ephesians 2:8 - Ephesians 2:9).
Facts and reason are not opposed to each other, or logic, or God's ways even. The Lord Himself tells us to "reason together" with Him (Isaiah 1:16), and I don't think it is a mild suggestion or that God speaks without purpose using empty or poetic words. Rather, I think He means what He says and expects us to use our heads and follow Him with our hearts both, not be thoughtless and emotionally driven or blind followers of whatever is written in any "holy book" (of which they have many acclaimed these days). God also says to "test Him" (Malachi 3:10)as He can stand up to doubt and prove He is true, and He doesn't have to or need to but He does so like for Gideon, for example, simply because He is (VERY) kind. This is God telling us to be reasonable, and logical, and sensible and to use the faculties He gave us for His will, which is that everyone be saved and that no one perish in Hell (2 Peter 3:9 - John 3:16 - John 3:17[this one is critical, it declares blatantly and bluntly the purpose is not to condemn or destroy but to save anyone and everyone, that is the mission of Christ stated by Him here in John 3:17])
Not only this, but God does not intend for us to be ignorant and serve blindly, rather He stated Himself that He tells us what He is doing and why (John 15:15 - Genesis 18:17-18) so we can know and work with the Lord (Mark 16:20) according to His heart and His will and accomplish His wishes without doubting what He desires.
So now, with all that established here we go on the next ride, which would be the reason God says literally anyone goes to Hell at all. Christ stated with His own mouth in the flesh and not through a prophet or saint that the only reason anyone is sent to Hell at all has nothing to do with their sins. It has to do with blaspheming the Holy Spirit, which is quite literally ignoring God and telling Him to buzz off and searing one's conscience to the point of having no ability to be corrected by God because they have rejected God outright and chosen rebellion (Matthew 12:31). If this is the reasoning God has said is His reason for not forgiving someone, or anyone, and we apply this to the current subject we are on we can see that unborn children and infants haven't even had the opportunity to reject God.. therefore they quite literally have never committed this sin. If God also desires that no one perish and genuinely wishes so strongly to save us all that He would send His only Son to die on a cross (Romans 8:32), then His hearts desire in this particular situation is to save these little ones just like He desires to save me and you. His character is on full display and there is no question that God is good, and at that yes... "all the time."
But back to the argument, I really don't care much what secular view anyone has concerning the innocence of children, in this matter. Truth is, we all die, whether horribly or after a long drawn out suffering, or any other way—no way compares to what is to come. Be hopeful that the sufferer who ends up in Hell has received already that for which he will not be punished further. God takes my sin (not me) far more seriously than I do.
I am not saying children are born without sin, but that they are born "IN SIN," just like Romans 11:32 states clearly, but in that statement He boldly proclaims the reason for that as well, "that he might have mercy upon all." "All" in this thought from God is easily understood as "all of the humans born in sin", and that would include the unborn, infants, children, and adults as all of those categories fall under "all."
Also, I would disagree wholeheartedly about God taking your sin more seriously than you. He showed up on Earth for 33 years, was beaten ridiculed and mocked (something UNTHINKABLE for a Holy God) and murdered indescribably to spare you an eternity in Hell. In all of that process He was crushing sin like He stated He would do in Genesis 3:15 and displayed His immense power over sin and His enemies (Colossians 2:15) and He quickly and without a second thought easily forgave people because it is His heart and who He is (to be good and wanting to forgive - 2 Corinthians 5:19).
Was He taking the sin more seriously, when His purpose was to destroy it? Or was He taking YOU more seriously, when His entire purpose was to save you? I think it be the latter my dear friend, and I could not emphasize this enough. We are lost Sons and Daughters Christ came to redeem to the Father (Galatians 3:26 - Luke 15:20), with Christ being the first.. the "first fruits" who we are meant to become (Romans 8:29) like in Spirit and this Spirit is a nature of goodness that emanates from the Father who is all good and no evil, all light and no dark (1 John 1:5). No no, I think He is taking you very seriously, and as seriously as any parent takes their child at the edge of the water (Hell) where the crocodiles are (demons) and who jumps in to save their child and gets nearly torn apart and covered in scars (Christ) because He takes that child far more seriously than that crocodile that He will kill without a second thought.
For whatever it may be worth for me to say it, I, who am constantly amazed by the loving mercy of our God, can hardly stomach the notion of unborn children in Hell. I'm almost (emotionally) at the point of rejection of the horror of one like Hitler or PolPot, or even Satan, who apparently is unable to repent even now of his unspeakable atrocities, but rather delights in them—the unimaginable horror of what awaits the enemies of God is more than I can deal with, and I gratefully leave it up to God. You are right that I believe (and thank him) that he is altogether just, and will reward to each precisely what, and no more than, they deserve. To the degree that those children do not deserve hell, they will not be punished.
It isn't so much the "facts" themselves, or the reasoning, or thinking, or logic, that ultimately sails my ship to the shore I'm on right now with this conclusion I hold so tightly to. Instead, it is the fact that (as you have also) I have known Him and tasted (experienced) His goodness and His heart and WHO HE REALLY IS and just like I know when I was a child my parents would have taken on a crocodile, or a strange man attacking me, or whatever deathly situation may have been facing them and put their own life in the way of a bullet or attacker, Christ has done that for us, and not just me, but all of us who would repent. If God put us all under sin so that He could have mercy on us all (Romans 11:32), then the infant and unborn are by His own words more safe and secure than we who have WILLFULLY and deliberately sinned multiples of times even after hearing the commandments and understanding (somewhat) right and wrong, good and evil, loving and unloving.
If His Spirit lives in me, in you, in us believers and we know God would not want us to allow a child to die, or be tortured, or for us to withhold forgiveness from them.. why would we think God would put His justice before His mercy (Hosea 6:6 - Matthew 9:13 - 1 Corinthians 6:19)? Mercy always triumphs over judgment with God brother (James 2:13), and God said this and showed this in action throughout the four Gospels in the life of Christ more than anywhere.
But we are here for his purposes and not ours. We are not an end unto ourselves.
We are here for His purpose, and His purpose is and was to save the lost (John 3:16-17). These are His words, not mine.
If God says in John 3:17 He did not come here to condemn but to save, then His entire mission and objective is to save, and if Romans 11:32 says that He put us all under sin so that He could save "all" then infants and unborn and "all" are in that category. These are all His declarations and His plans and His goals and His love and His mercies.
The pattern here is so profound toward mercy that to think such evil of Christ is something Satan loves to giggle about. While Satan is demanding child sacrifice in the OT (2 Kings 17:17), He is accusing God of everything evil in the world and trying to defame God's Holy character and unparalleled kindness, and selflessness, and overwhelming love.
There are not infants burning in Hell my brother. God is the one who had to stop His own people from offering their children (born in sin!) to Molech (Leviticus 18:21)in the fire, and does not tell them to offer their children to Him (Yahweh).
God is speaking through His behavior AND His words about this, not just one or the other. He doesn't condemn those He can save, He saves even those He could rightly condemn (that being all of us who are saved), how much more will He save those little ones who we sinful fallen people would die for to save ourselves?