PTSD, TBI, Anxiety/Depression, Alcohol Abuse...

Pray for your enemies good things. That will help you let go of the hate.

Florian7051 said:

I've gotten this strange feeling a couple times, like an emotional descent into hell. There's no torment or suffering, just absence. It's like a realization that this connection I don't think I have with God I've actually always had, and I don't realize it until it disappears. What I'm left with is this terrible sense of isolation far beyond anything I've ever experienced, this loneliness I didn't think was even possible. It's terrifying.

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A quote I turned into a personal mantra "You are never alone, because God cannot be taken from you". I know the exact feeling you describe. It is a lie. Presumably it is from The Enemy. Or maybe it's a fact of biology. I cannot say for certain. Regardless, there's little to do other than to realize that it is, in fact, a lie. The Chosen has a lot of scenes featuring this concept with a callback to Psalm 139: 7-8 "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there." No matter where you go, the Holy Spirit is always with you and cannot be separated from you. How else could people contest their own demonic possessions and cleanse themselves of that incursion?

Florian7051 said:

I don't know why my heart is filled with such bitterness. Logically I want to forgive everyone who has wronged me, but it's like my heart holds on to the hate regardless of me wanting to let go of it. Just needed to vent. I feel lost.

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How long ago was the trauma in your life? How many days/weeks/years was it spread over? How long from trauma onset to the trauma stopping? I ask because duration determines treatments that will be most likely to be effective.

Also, can you face your trauma. Meaning, can you sit in a safe place (you feel safe there, you can scream or cry and feel safe showing emotion) and relive those past traumatic events and think through what is happening there. Like, say you were in a car that caught fire. Can you remember being in the seat, feeling the heat, without panicking. Can you go through your choices in the moment and think about what you felt and why? What options really did and did not exist, in that moment, and why? It is ok if you can't, but I do need you to be honest about whether you can do this or not. And it may be you can with some memories, and not with others. That's also ok and normal.

You probably have forgiven if you say it @Florian7051 . Just take the residual captive until it’s gone as in 2Cor 10:3-5