About differences/people we meet/neurodivergence

I fell over this article by a therapist talking about differences in people we meet, neurodivergence and I thought about this how we might fall into these people here or out there and the need to be open minded, so I am going to post

Brilliant but not broken
a powerful reframe of neurodivergence
By Alison Briggs therapist

It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise,accept and celebrate those differences. -Andre Lorde
(this is basically what I wanted to discuss)
For most of my life, (not me) I asked myself a quiet question: what`s wrong with me?
I didn`t say it outloud, I didn`t have to. It was stitched into how I moved through the world- hyperaware, self-correcting, and always just a little out of step. I knew how to "pass" in the right settings, but never without effort. Underneath it all, I was exhausted by the daily performance of normal.
Looking back it`s clear when it started
I grew up in a home marked by emotional chaos and developmental trauma, I became hypervigilant before I even had words for it. I learned to track mood shifts, tones of voice, the silences between the words. While other kids were absorbing math lessons, I was reading the room.
In elementary school, I wasn`t the loud kid or the front-row over-achiever. I was the quiet one in the middle row-not bold enough to be in front where people might see me, and not defiant enough to risk the back, where the "bad kids" got called out, punished, or ignored. I learned early that safety meant staying in the middle, visible enough to avoid trouble, invisible enough to not stand out.
I didn`t know what the lesson was. But I knew who the teacher favoured and who she didn`t. Who had a rough night at home. Who was trying too hard. Who had checked out. And who was silently hurting the way I was.
I was always paying attention- even if they said I was unfocused- just not in the way the teacher wanted me to.
I also daydreamed. Constantly. I lived in fantasy worlds that I made up in my head, complete with characters, back stories and dialouge. I wasn`t trying to avoid reality- I was trying to survive it. And those who imagined worlds were often kinder than the one I was stuck in.
So when people say things like, "that child is so distractible", I want to pause them.
Sometimes, what you`re seeing isn`t a disorder. Sometimes, it`s a child adapting to a world that feels unsafe.
What we call disordered might just be a different kind of wisdom
As I got older, I started to realise how many of the things we pathologise- especially in women, neurodivergent folks, and trauma survivors- are actually adaptive or even gifted traits. But because they don`t fit the dominant mold of what "healthy"looks like, we call them broken.
Let me say this clearly: Different doesn`t mean disordered. And when support is needed, that doesn`t mean the person is lacking.
take ADHD. It`s often reduced to disorganisation, or forgetfulness, but for many people, it reflects fast-paced, pattern- jumping brains that crave stimulation and thrive in high-innovation spaces. That same brain might struggle in school but light up in entrepeuneurship, the arts, crisis work or tech.

Take anxiety. Yes it can be overwhelming. But beneath it is usually a sensitive nervous system attuned to energy, risk, nuance. In trauma survivors, it often reflects the ability to read between the lines- to sense what`s not being said, to prepare for every possible outcome. They keep themselves and others safe by seeing the risks before the bad things happens.
take autism, especially in girls and women. What gets labeled as rigidity or social awkwardness might actually be deep authenticity, truth-telling, and sensory brilliance in a world full of noise and social masking.

Even depression can be a form of wisdom- a body demanding rest, a soul refusing to keep performing, a nervous system finally saying "enough".
What neurodivergence really means

Neurodivergence isn`t one thing. It`s a big umbrella. It includes conditions like:
ADHD
autism
Learning differences(like dyslexia or dyscalculia)
Sensory processing differences
Mood disorders(sometimes)
PTSD and C-PTSD(especially when they cause long-term brain changes)

For some, it`s hardwired. For others, it`s trauma-shaped. And for many of us, it`s both.

In my own family, neurodivergence runs deep. My mother lived with bipolar disorder and schitzophrenia. My oldest son has ADHD and anxiety. My youngest is autistic, has an intellectual disability, and also lives with ADHD. I`ve carried complex PTSD, anxiety, depression- and honestly, probably undiagnosed ADD too.
We are not broken. We are not less.
We are a line of deeply sensitive, differently wired humans trying to survive in a world that doesn`t always recognise our kind of brilliance.
I know what it is to be the outcast.

I watched my mom becoming one- judged and misunderstood by her own family, dismissed by society because her bipolar and schitzophrenia made people uncomfortable. I`ve watched my youngest son become one too. He`s autistic, has an intellectual disability- and ADHD. And I know - deeply know- that if I hadn`t chosen to value his wiring,
the world might have crushed him. For a little while, it did.
But this kid plays the drums like nobody`s business.

He is fiercly protective, wildly loyal, and more emotionally intuitive than anyone I`ve met. And every once in a while, he`ll say something so specific, so strange, so piercingly true. I swear he`s reading my mind- or someone elses.
We don`t talk about this kind of intelligence enough. the kind that doesn`t show up on standardised tests or IQ charts.But lives in the bones. In the knowing.


Neurodivergence simply means your brain functions in a way that diverges from the norm. that`s not bad. That`s essential-because the "norm" was never built with all of us in mind.

The bigger picture

We live in a culture that rewards sameness: attention that stays linear, emotions that stay tidy, learning that happens on schedule. But real life is messier than that. And real people are more complex.
Some of the most powerful thinkers, healers, leaders and artists I know live with labels that would have been sidelined if they hadn`t learned to translate their differences into power.
Different doesn`t take away from the conversation. It adds to it.

And the next time you wonder if "something" is wrong with you(or others) ,pause.

What if that part of you isn`t broken?

What if it`s just misunderstood?
What if it`s trying to show you something the world forgot to hear?
Everything said by Alison in this article
I find this interesting as we communicate and meet so many different people, and how Jesus encouraged us to be ourselves.


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com7fy8 said:

"inability" > yes, people do not know how to love.

Is the rest of this post your own comments, or are they a long quote of the author?

Click to expand...

It is the author all of it, but I agree with it

com7fy8 said:

So, it looks like your personality developed in relation with other personalities in your family. And my opinion is this happens in any family . . . somehow.

I read once that a kindergarten teacher had a class with three pairs of identical twins, and each twin of each pair had a personality very different than the twin's identical twin. Especially in a worldly family . . . where each one is mainly about one's own self > children can develop different personalities so they do not compete with each other's interests. Each wants pleasure and some power to get it; so, instead of constantly struggling with one another for the same pleasure, each one can develop, yes . . . preferences . . . for pleasure . . . which is not of interest to others in the family. After all, in getting pleasures, a person might not want to spoil it by having to fight for it and go through a lot of inconvenience.

And therefore we see so many people with some same interest getting isolated with each other of the same interest . . . so there is no competition and interference with getting the pleasure which is their treasure.

However, that is not how you become an all-loving person the way Jesus expects His followers to love >

"if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" He says in Matthew 5:46.

And here is how our Apostle Paul became as he developed in the grace of God's all-loving love which also is "unconditional" >

"And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved." (2 Corinthians 2:15)

So - - - unloving people could not have power over Paul to determine how his love personality developed. But Jesus in him grew to how Paul became so generously loving and not allowing evil and selfish people to control if and how he loved. After all, in the family of Jesus, a new personality of family was affecting Paul and how his personality developed . . . in God's new way >

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

So - - - whatever in us is anti-love and old personality ways . . . we do not obey that, but trust God to get rid of it, then discover how He has us loving, instead >

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

In my case, my father was a womanizer and charmer. And may be I picked up some of that. I have been able to get interested in marrying maybe more than fifty women! I have not gone the immoral route, but in me . . . I have been stupid about love. So, I need to get rid of that stuff and find out how to love any and all people; and it seems God has been correcting and growing me in this. I can see how my brothers did not include me but they didn't like girls; so - - may be, then, I went after girls where there was no competition. I see how selfish kids' preferences can develop like that, and their personalities develop with their preferences.

However > things don't stay nice. "Things" do interfere with our convenience and pleasures. And if you effectively mess with what is really a treasure pleasure of some person, then is when that person can get to acting like a raving lunatic. And so we have gotten the personalities of ones who have not gotten what they hoped for, for their own selves. But with Jesus, He makes us so we can take no for an answer and be pleased with Jesus, and ones can destroy our lives and we stay pleased with Jesus.

Because things we have or try to get don't have power over us >

"I will not be brought under the power of any," our Apostle Paul says, in 1 Corinthians 6:12.

So, now that I stay pretty much unconditionally content with whatever I have > Satanic things come to attack my future with paranoid stupidity about what is going to happen, or could happen to me. But I have been learning to be unconditionally loving and having hope for anyone who is a problem for me; so I just use this on the imagined people who demonic beings broadcast into my mind. Love them, be kind to them, pray so I am ready to love anyone in the future who might do what the paranoid stuff is promising. And at times I poke at Satan, about how his paranoid promises can't all come to pass > and then I go to the people he might use to threaten me in my imagination; and "things" are so different in reality.

And as I get into loving any and all people . . . now I seem to be connecting with others. And it is quality intimacy, not only quantity of pleasure.

A basic problem, then, in my opinion going by God's word and experience, is that worldly people have their basic preference for pleasure. And in their desperation to have some sort of a nice feeling, they can do very bizarre and cruel things to get it, and react quite badly if they don't.

Click to expand...

It is the author that speaks of her experiences as the "I " in question,not me I mentioned it
Well if the child does not get taught empathy, and how to think of others it has to be taught early, patterns are harder to break that goes for the problems you mentioned strong of you to admit as most people rather hide their "shadow side of self" forever and run from it and cover it up. It is not a way to live however because the one that hides from it runs forever. But as the bible say, the one that confess and try to do something about it recieves grace. It is so true as it is said. We all have a shadow self. The things we hide, don`t like, the rejected things, by others and ourselves at the last it becomes what we reject, what we are taught, beliefs, programming, negative things. negative thoughts, deeper issues, etc. It all goes down into the subconscious, the so called shadow self. We do not normally access it by our daily day to day rational mind. But it is there creating havoc, until we make it conscious. See and observe, observe more than react is the goal. Write down things.
Then our physical system and mental brain nervous system might get wired wrong especially by trauma. Our brain stiffens, body stiffens, physical reactions, physical reactions to sensations, sounds, words.. list is endless. It is again about becoming aware. To be able to be more conscious about it and do something. Learn to monitor and check the physical reactions by wait, observe, take deep breaths breathing is really good, and by NOT reacting until calm. We train our brains that way and bodies to our own detriment or positive. We learn this from childhood so this is how it works with habits and the so called pleasure centre in the brain. The goal is to learn the right triggers for the right things we want to achieve. So it can be more attuned as God wants it to be. This topic is very interesting in terms of the fall of man and the genetic mishap about these things. (by the way, narcissists use charm and manipulation as the first and most common thing to fool people. They mimic people, but don`t feel it, have cognitive empathy and many times a good intuition, these things I have seen have entities connected it is a good idea to ask God for deliverance. I have seen their eyes turn dot)
So a manipulator mimic and mirror body language and interests. All in the service of self. well this is demonic. Some, not all, might have entity attachement. I suggest ministries/exorcists/prayers.
So yes from get go we can program ourselves for good or bad. Not that the fall does not affect but you see the difference. I have a good friend she has a sister who is her twin. They almost look alike, but one is calm the other has issues with temperament, much triggered by trauma in early childhood. One recalls more than the other. One is more social than the other. Different ways to cope yes. But all in all not much difference. People mistake them for each other. They are just as old so they did not have issues there. The line of siblings is an interesting topic many studies made and it has great effect. How we meet life etc. But Jesus was a perfect math between a little of each and knowing when and how. A perfect example of balance. Where we tend to be one extreme to the other. In psychology they talk about red people. The dominant ones, the action takers. The ones that like to take charge. The ones that thrive on challenges. the ones with difficulty with emotions and empathy. Then the yellow ones. the ones that does not take life too seriously and want to have fun and explore and loves music and fun. the peace keeper. then we have the blue. the analytical, the thinkers deep, the ones with perfection, the ones that need things explained because they need the why. they want the best decision. they take ages making decision. the ones that prepare for ages. then the green, the ones that wants peace and everyone getting along, the social ones. seeking balance. we can understand a lot about people by knowing this. It is in how we relate to things and people. we can solve conflicts better by knowing. it works by knowing ourselves and our weaknesses. It can be like oh, I am in the red now I have to add some blue. to show more empathy. I might have deviated a bit but I think it might tie in eventually. I am blue and green. we tend to have two. glide through the rest back and forth. but one dominant ,usually. My dominant is definitely blue. I need to understand things at a deeper level. for many reasons. Again Jesus did it all perfectly. these are things I want to discuss with him. when I see him.

com7fy8 said:

So, it looks like your personality developed in relation with other personalities in your family. And my opinion is this happens in any family . . . somehow.

I read once that a kindergarten teacher had a class with three pairs of identical twins, and each twin of each pair had a personality very different than the twin's identical twin. Especially in a worldly family . . . where each one is mainly about one's own self > children can develop different personalities so they do not compete with each other's interests. Each wants pleasure and some power to get it; so, instead of constantly struggling with one another for the same pleasure, each one can develop, yes . . . preferences . . . for pleasure . . . which is not of interest to others in the family. After all, in getting pleasures, a person might not want to spoil it by having to fight for it and go through a lot of inconvenience.

And therefore we see so many people with some same interest getting isolated with each other of the same interest . . . so there is no competition and interference with getting the pleasure which is their treasure.

However, that is not how you become an all-loving person the way Jesus expects His followers to love >

"if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" He says in Matthew 5:46.

And here is how our Apostle Paul became as he developed in the grace of God's all-loving love which also is "unconditional" >

"And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved." (2 Corinthians 2:15)

So - - - unloving people could not have power over Paul to determine how his love personality developed. But Jesus in him grew to how Paul became so generously loving and not allowing evil and selfish people to control if and how he loved. After all, in the family of Jesus, a new personality of family was affecting Paul and how his personality developed . . . in God's new way >

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

So - - - whatever in us is anti-love and old personality ways . . . we do not obey that, but trust God to get rid of it, then discover how He has us loving, instead >

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

In my case, my father was a womanizer and charmer. And may be I picked up some of that. I have been able to get interested in marrying maybe more than fifty women! I have not gone the immoral route, but in me . . . I have been stupid about love. So, I need to get rid of that stuff and find out how to love any and all people; and it seems God has been correcting and growing me in this. I can see how my brothers did not include me but they didn't like girls; so - - may be, then, I went after girls where there was no competition. I see how selfish kids' preferences can develop like that, and their personalities develop with their preferences.

However > things don't stay nice. "Things" do interfere with our convenience and pleasures. And if you effectively mess with what is really a treasure pleasure of some person, then is when that person can get to acting like a raving lunatic. And so we have gotten the personalities of ones who have not gotten what they hoped for, for their own selves. But with Jesus, He makes us so we can take no for an answer and be pleased with Jesus, and ones can destroy our lives and we stay pleased with Jesus.

Because things we have or try to get don't have power over us >

"I will not be brought under the power of any," our Apostle Paul says, in 1 Corinthians 6:12.

So, now that I stay pretty much unconditionally content with whatever I have > Satanic things come to attack my future with paranoid stupidity about what is going to happen, or could happen to me. But I have been learning to be unconditionally loving and having hope for anyone who is a problem for me; so I just use this on the imagined people who demonic beings broadcast into my mind. Love them, be kind to them, pray so I am ready to love anyone in the future who might do what the paranoid stuff is promising. And at times I poke at Satan, about how his paranoid promises can't all come to pass > and then I go to the people he might use to threaten me in my imagination; and "things" are so different in reality.

And as I get into loving any and all people . . . now I seem to be connecting with others. And it is quality intimacy, not only quantity of pleasure.

A basic problem, then, in my opinion going by God's word and experience, is that worldly people have their basic preference for pleasure. And in their desperation to have some sort of a nice feeling, they can do very bizarre and cruel things to get it, and react quite badly if they don't.

Click to expand...

yes it is one thing I do not really like never have even when not inside the believers camp although I turned to God age 5, so I don`t know how much that should be taken into it. I have never been worldly I have always hated it the right way understood, not had those inclinations, always abhored wrong doing ,adultery and fornication, dress off party drinking drugs etc never been me, always wanted Gods ways. always wanted God. so natural inclinations vary I understand that. you see that clearly. It can become a more intense dislike for the things when it is natural inclinations. I see why they do it and what they get out of it. I see the social pressure and the acceptance of daily passive aggressive evil. That is accepted by all just to be in the club. (yes, it goes on in church just think clicks) it is important to stand up against those things too. to watch our minds as Jesus warned. from there comes all evil thoughts and deeds this is exactly what he meant. It is so deep. Becoming like children.. that is to purge us from all this. our beliefs, our programming. yes he is so deep I have such admiration for him.

com7fy8 said:

So, it looks like your personality developed in relation with other personalities in your family. And my opinion is this happens in any family . . . somehow.

I read once that a kindergarten teacher had a class with three pairs of identical twins, and each twin of each pair had a personality very different than the twin's identical twin. Especially in a worldly family . . . where each one is mainly about one's own self > children can develop different personalities so they do not compete with each other's interests. Each wants pleasure and some power to get it; so, instead of constantly struggling with one another for the same pleasure, each one can develop, yes . . . preferences . . . for pleasure . . . which is not of interest to others in the family. After all, in getting pleasures, a person might not want to spoil it by having to fight for it and go through a lot of inconvenience.

And therefore we see so many people with some same interest getting isolated with each other of the same interest . . . so there is no competition and interference with getting the pleasure which is their treasure.

However, that is not how you become an all-loving person the way Jesus expects His followers to love >

"if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" He says in Matthew 5:46.

And here is how our Apostle Paul became as he developed in the grace of God's all-loving love which also is "unconditional" >

"And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved." (2 Corinthians 2:15)

So - - - unloving people could not have power over Paul to determine how his love personality developed. But Jesus in him grew to how Paul became so generously loving and not allowing evil and selfish people to control if and how he loved. After all, in the family of Jesus, a new personality of family was affecting Paul and how his personality developed . . . in God's new way >

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

So - - - whatever in us is anti-love and old personality ways . . . we do not obey that, but trust God to get rid of it, then discover how He has us loving, instead >

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

In my case, my father was a womanizer and charmer. And may be I picked up some of that. I have been able to get interested in marrying maybe more than fifty women! I have not gone the immoral route, but in me . . . I have been stupid about love. So, I need to get rid of that stuff and find out how to love any and all people; and it seems God has been correcting and growing me in this. I can see how my brothers did not include me but they didn't like girls; so - - may be, then, I went after girls where there was no competition. I see how selfish kids' preferences can develop like that, and their personalities develop with their preferences.

However > things don't stay nice. "Things" do interfere with our convenience and pleasures. And if you effectively mess with what is really a treasure pleasure of some person, then is when that person can get to acting like a raving lunatic. And so we have gotten the personalities of ones who have not gotten what they hoped for, for their own selves. But with Jesus, He makes us so we can take no for an answer and be pleased with Jesus, and ones can destroy our lives and we stay pleased with Jesus.

Because things we have or try to get don't have power over us >

"I will not be brought under the power of any," our Apostle Paul says, in 1 Corinthians 6:12.

So, now that I stay pretty much unconditionally content with whatever I have > Satanic things come to attack my future with paranoid stupidity about what is going to happen, or could happen to me. But I have been learning to be unconditionally loving and having hope for anyone who is a problem for me; so I just use this on the imagined people who demonic beings broadcast into my mind. Love them, be kind to them, pray so I am ready to love anyone in the future who might do what the paranoid stuff is promising. And at times I poke at Satan, about how his paranoid promises can't all come to pass > and then I go to the people he might use to threaten me in my imagination; and "things" are so different in reality.

And as I get into loving any and all people . . . now I seem to be connecting with others. And it is quality intimacy, not only quantity of pleasure.

A basic problem, then, in my opinion going by God's word and experience, is that worldly people have their basic preference for pleasure. And in their desperation to have some sort of a nice feeling, they can do very bizarre and cruel things to get it, and react quite badly if they don't.

Click to expand...

That is exactly it, see others as people, and show compassion and mercy as he shows us. at least, try, until they show they are evil then another story. then it is prayers more. To see all men and women as equal in nature of being a human being, and treat others as we would want to be treated. yes it is really truly the answer. Jesus is so wise.